lawak skit - ( updated 2 jun )

[hassan 0]

enjoy.. well i did.. ( new )


lyrics from a country song.. really!!! title: show them to me.. ahahaha

Spoiler:

 

Oh it seems to me this whole world's gone crazy
There's too much hate and killin goin on
But when I see the bare chest of a woman
My worrys and my problems are all gone
No one thinks of fightin, when they see a topless girl
Baby if you would show yours too, we could save the world

Show them to me, show them to me
Unclasp your bra and set those puppies free
They'd look a whole lot better without that sweater baby I'm sure you'll agree
If you got, two fun bags,
Show them to me

I don't care if they don't match or ones bigger than the other
You could show me one, and I'll imagine the other
Even if you're really old, theres nothing wrong
Don't be sad your boobs ain't bad, they're just a little long

Show them to me, show them to me
Lift up your shirt and let the whole world see
Just disrobe, show your globes and a happy man I'll be
If you got, dos chichi's,
Show them to me

I've met a lot of them, but never one I've hated
Even if you've had thirteen kids and you think they look deflated
Theres no such thing as a bad breast, I believe this much is true
If you're a big fat man I'm a titty fan and I'd love to see yours toooo

Show them to me, show them to me
Just like the girls gone wild on T.V.
Just lean back and show your rack and I'll be in ecstasy
If you got two casabas
Show them to me

All the world will live in harmony
It'll do you good, it'll give me wood, we'll make history
If you love your country, I'm gonna say it one more time,
I said if you love your country yea
Then stand your *** up and show them big old titties to me

note - no nudity

Spoiler:

 

Spoiler:

 

Spoiler:

 

Spoiler:

 

!!!

[shakz7 0]

hahahhaha........

[demonicle-hwcmalaysia 0]

lol

[Raymond 0]

lol............

[gonggok 0]

hahahah..

[aphong2681 0]

LOL!!! Nice one!

[KidrauhlM5 0]

Untuk peminat F1

Spoiler:

 

Fernando: You know what would be funny? If I ended up in your ride.

Micheal: Haha, like that'll ever happen.


Years Later...

Spoiler:

 

[sinclair 0]

Haha, Joker, what did you do last night?

[demonicle-hwcmalaysia 0]

sinclair wrote:

Haha, Joker, what did you do last night?

i was at ur place

[hassan 0]

demonicle wrote:

sinclair wrote:

Haha, Joker, what did you do last night?

i was at ur place

busted..... sinclair is batman?

[netmatrix 0]

Wahahahaha!

[kuih_tiow 0]

lol...

[chee keng hong 0]

..............

[danielh 0]

so, batman is sinclair...now i see..

@kidrauhlm5- nice F1 jokes!!

[matchboxclub 0]

muahahaa.. lol.. thanks for the post hassan, it just make my day brighter

[matchboxclub 0]

keke.. enjoy tis one

[jhc7598 0]

[enyomic 0]

punny

[Raymond 0]

[ADVedder 0]

[eight 0]

pants on the ground... pants on the ground...

[hassan 0]

eight wrote:

pants on the ground... pants on the ground...

[xeifu 0]

[RGSUKAN 0]

hahaha..you all are jocker...cannot tahan...kekekeke.

[Peter1 0]

When I was in a toy store, a girl told her boyfriend that the toy car was expensive. Her boyfriend looked at the car and said it is a Ferrari you know! Ferrari!!!

[hassan 0]

A woman on her way home from market was carrying a duck. A drunk staggered up to her and said ,"Hey! where'd ja get the pig?" The woman replied," You drunken fool, that's no pig -- it's a duck!" And the drunk said," Quiet, I was talking to the duck."


Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession." The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. "I'm a cop", says the first man. "Then we will shoot your penis off!", said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a firemen", said the second man. "Then we will burn your penis off!", said the sheik.
Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?" And the third man answered, with a sly grin, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog.
They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.
The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish. Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!

[mushr00m 0]

hahahahahhaa......

[sinclair 0]

Mr. Rabbit certainly didn't like Mr. Bear.

[danielh 0]

hahahahaha.....! what can a gay bear do???...hahahahah!!!!

[ADVedder 0]

so clever mr rabbit!

[jhc7598 0]

wawkakaka!!!

[Fadli85 0]

Mr. Gay bear, hahaha...!

[sahama 0]

mushr00m wrote:

hahahahahhaa......

Ha haaaaaaaa. This joke can be compile under the title: Malaysian/International Hotwheel Collector Jokes Vol.1.

[Zakuan Nofear 0]

wahaahahahahaha.

[hassan 0]

kisah bear tu takder kena mengena dengan mat bear. kalau adpun skit2 je kot

[Zakuan Nofear 0]

mungkin

[sahama 0]

Hassan, tiada lawak baru ke, dragbus ke.

[chee keng hong 0]

sahama wrote:

Hassan, tiada lawak baru ke, dragbus ke.

hassan dah kena "ban" lah. Wait for another 3 days to hear his new joke!!!

[Zakuan Nofear 0]

but why?

[chee keng hong 0]

Zakuan Nofear wrote:

but why?

why??Hmm...no question ask..my young padawan!!!

[wildspirit 0]

kah kah kah ha ha ha hei hei hei bang bang bang(hantam table)...hahaha kakaka sob sob sob( wipe my tears and saliva) kui kui kui
( small sound)

[matchboxclub 0]

Bagel Shop Student

"Hello Mrs. Frobisher" said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop.

My husband and I looked at him but drew complete blanks. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" I asked.

"Yeah, you was my English teacher."

Leaning over, my husband whispered, "Good job, Honey, good job."





Caught
Sleeping

Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out
one of these excuses.

*********************************

They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time
management course you sent me to.

I was working smarter - not harder.

Whew! I must have left the top off the whiteout.

I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a
new paradigm!

This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

I'm in the management training program.

I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP). I learned
at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our
biggest problem.

The coffee machine is broken....

Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.

Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off.

Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!

I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.

The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid
getting shot.

Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.

[sahama 0]

Another good lawak.

[jhc7598 0]

matchboxclub wrote:

The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

this is the best, and will try to practice it,

[danielh 0]

[chee keng hong 0]

nice try!!!

[hassan 0]

mbx u need to make excuses for sleeping in the office meh.. thats a bit lame. when i sleep in the office my boss reads a story for me.. heck i even get em to do a coupla 'jobs' for me now thats hilarious..

[hassan 0]

updated

[chee keng hong 0]

..nice updated joke & nice updated "avatar"!!

[sahama 0]

What a story. Good job.