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mom2davidnabi

Over 40 Word Nerds - Those of us with more experience! - Part 9

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that's crazy!


 Yahoo!  It looks like they almost entirely whiffed on their predictions for us. We have a few inches at most and it is snowing lightly and is likely to stop soon.

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Good morning, ladies!

I hope everyone is doing well. I have been so crazy busy at work that it's hard for me to grab much online time.

I am getting ready to see Dave on Saturday. I have my passcard so I can get back into the US on Sunday (I have to laugh that you can leave the country without it, but can't get back into the country if you don't have it.) I am so ready for a break with good friends and good music! Excited

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Hi, everyone! Apparently I haven't checked in here for quite a while...sorry about that! We have had a lot of visitors here, so that has kept me busy. It sounds like there is a lot going on!

Barb, those rent prices are outrageous! No wonder you work so hard. You don't have a choice! It sounds like a great idea to take over your daughter's apartment. What a busy time!

I hope everyone's weather is warming up now. Rich is headed to Minnesota today, and they are finally going to get some temps in the 30s while he's there. They have record levels of snow pack, so they are definitely expecting flooding this spring. I wish we could get some of the water down here.

Is anyone watching Idol this season? I was pretty excited about the kids they chose, but last night's show was a big dud. I don't know why. I sure can't get fired up enough to vote for anyone at this point.

We have had a bad stomach virus going around our house. 4 out of 6 of us have had it. I am hoping the other two stay healthy, because our spring break starts in 2 days. We aren't doing anything. I just want to relax and get some projects done, and my parents will be here for one of the weeks. We are all definitely in need of a nice long break.

Jeannie, have a wonderful time at your show! I am so excited for you!!! You definitely deserve a break, and what a great way to take one. Give Dave a hug from all of us. ;-)

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Barb I missed that you were moving... for some reason "view first unread" took me below it. I think it sounds like a great move(s) for all of you. Yay for cheaper rent and no extra fees!

Sorry to hear about the stomach virus, Paula. That's never fun.

We're supposed to get temperatures close to 50 tomorrow and Saturday. I am excited - I was so worried the weather would be horrible for our trip to Niagara Falls. I will definitely give him a hug from everyone if I get a chance to talk to him.

I am watching Idol. Last night was really boring, to be honest. Though it was great to see the judges telling the kids that. I love Harry and Keith and their honesty, and am not even minding JLo so much. I hate the "real time voting" update thing. That is kind of cruel, IMO. And I have no contestant that I care much about. If the judges weren't so refreshing, I'd probably have quit watching partway through last night.

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I haven't watched Idol at all this year. I am watching The Following and Worst Cooks in America. One provides mystery and drama and the other makes me laugh.

My mom took a turn for the worse this past week. I'm going up to the Cape to visit her next weekend. She is not able to speak at all now. It makes me so sad to know that I will never have another conversation with my mom. Her tongue and throat muscles are so weak now that she is unable to lay down. When she does her tongue falls back and closes off her airway. I know it may sound horrible to wish death on anyone. At this point she is so tortured living like this, that I hope the ends comes quickly for her.

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Paula, we can relate. The weird part here is that we all didn't have the same crud. Abi is the only one who escaped (her tummy was a bit unsettled but she never came down with it like poor David did).

Jeannie, have a great time at the show.

Barb, so sorry about your mom. I hope she doesn't linger too long and suffer. I have been known to pray for heaven when someone is that sick and miserable. I will pray for all of you.

Things with David have been going so well at school that it couldn't last unfortunately. I am trying not to let the stress of it get to me. Argh!

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Oh Barb, I am so sorry to hear that. Hug I understand how you feel, and I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. I know your mom (like mine) has been a healthy, vibrant and active woman and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for all of you.

Annette, try not to let the stress get to you, hard as that may be.

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it has even gotten harder now that the next month plus a few days will be spent with David playing massive catch-up in his online pre-calculus class (he would have gotten an F if she withdrew him). I was never a fan of that decision but David just doesn't have the skills to manage that type of class. He was working way too slow. When he finally started to catch up, he got sick and missed 9 out of 10 days of school. He has almost 2 units done (out of 6). The only thing that is in his favor is that he knows what he is doing. The problem is that his usual working speed is pretty slow. He can occasionally find overdrive but with over 4 units to get done by April 11, that is a lot of overdrive.  Banging head 

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Oh Barb, I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a huge hug. It sounds terrible to say, but I don't think I would want to live like that. Rich's grandma got to the point at which she could barely see or hear, and even food no longer gave her pleasure. When you can't interact with the ones you love, it would be hard to find the will to continue. I hope you have the best possible resolution to her situation.

Annette, I'm sorry to hear that you have been struggling with the illness too. I hope David can get things done. Can you or Brian help him catch up? I would if I were there. Math makes me so happy!

Yay for warm weather for your trip, Jeannie! Safe travels, and don't do anything we wouldn't do! ;-)

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we are no help to him. I wish you were here to help him! he can call my dad or my brothers for help if he gets stuck. his main problem is lack of speed.

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so far, so good. I have discovered that the only help he really needs is my encouragement and support (and also a swift kick if he doesn't move towards the computer). He is close to being done with another unit. That still leaves him 3 units to get done in 4 weeks. He has a 95% average for what he has done. it helped him that they had a snow day yesterday.

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Annette, I'm glad things are moving along well with David's work. I feel like I can't get anything done today. It's so cold(below zero with the wind chill) that I just want to curl up under a blanket with a good book.

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Barb, is this the weekend you are going to see your mom?

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Annette, I am glad things are going well with David, and hope he catches up quickly!

Barb, you and your mom have been in my thoughts. Hug

The show last weekend was fantastic! It was so much fun to get away in the middle of tax season... I think I need to do that every year. I recapped the show and put videos in the thread in the concert section if you want to check it out.

It was kind of cool... Bob DiPierro, who is the head of this songwriters series at the casino, (and who seemed really impressed with Dave, btw) mentioned in one of his banters that he was from Youngstown, Ohio originally. I chatted with him for a few minutes after the show. It turns out that we went to the same high school, and the same college. He was 7 years ahead of me in high school though. Still, small world!

eta: Today is my mom's 92nd birthday. I hope I have half her energy and sense of humor when I am her age.

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happy birthday to your mom Jeannie! I think I need to borrow some of that energy.

Barb, I am still praying for your mom and your family.

I need another show. The problem is with my job it will have to be close by on a day that I don't work.

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Thank you Annette and Jeannie. My brother took my mom to Boston to meet with a specialist yesterday. Her official diagnosis is now ALS/Lou Gehrig's disease. The doctor gave her options that could prolong life for a few months. Unfortunately non of those options can reverse the progress of the disease or change her quality of life. They included a peg tube feeding directly into the stomach, a ventilator and a suction machine. Mom has opted not to use any of them. I honestly can't say that I blame her. The progression is very rapid now. She can longer speak, can eat only small amounts of food the consistency of yogurt and is quickly losing her ability to walk.

My mom has made her wishes very clear. She has a medical directive, and my brother is her medical proxy. There will be no extraordinary measures taken to prolong life. She will remain at home with my brother and sister in law. Hospice will be brought in when needed to help ease her passing at the end. I'm having such a hard time with this. Knowing that I can't just call her to talk about the latest episode of Worst Cooks in America or listen to her tell me about her day is crushing me. Please keep her in your thoughts or prayers.

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Oh, Barb, that is such a terrible disease. I am so sorry. I wish I could give you a great big hug. I'm thinking of you. I will definitely be praying for you and your family.

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I am so sorry Barb. That news would be crushing me too (nothing can prepare you for those things). I will continue to pray. Hang in there.

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I'm so sorry, Barb. How awful that must be for her, and for you. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. If you need anything, including just to talk, please call me. Hug

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David needs help now. Unit 4 is harder and he has been trying to get lesson one done since late Saturday. Yesterday they had power issues at his school so they couldn't use the computers. He has to have help today. Losing days is something he can't afford at this point.

The math class issue brought David's future to the forefront of my thoughts of course. I decided that college may not be the best thing for him in the fall (he would only be taking one class there but he still has to manage it and keep up). I talked with one of the ladies who run his school and she agrees that it might be better to come up with another plan. I started making calls about getting him into a program at the vocational school. They have some great programs there. I found two programs that looked like a decent fit for him. One is already full but the other one has 8 spots left. It is computerized design and drafting. I talked to him and with a little bit of creativity, I was able to get him excited about going there. At first it was a bit difficult to get him shifted from going to that college class because that is the only thing he knows that the other students (similar to him) have been doing at his school. He also had some other reasons but in the end, I somehow got him to recall that Glenn Beck never graduated from college. So now I am trying to get his paperwork ready so we can go visit on Friday. If not, he will go visit after April 1 (JVS is on spring break next week). I think this is the best plan for him. College will still be there when he is ready. The CDD program certification will give him a job skill. Brian can help him get a job too. I am doing a lot of praying that this works out well for him.

Too much stress lately. I need a vacation.

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That sounds like a good plan, Annette. I'm glad you were able to get him excited about it! I'll pray that it works out for all of you too. Jack is leaning toward Graphic Design, which is like the CDD program in that they will be able to interact with computers more than people, so that's probably a good fit. I agree that college will always be there. I hope he gets Unit 4 done! Hang in there.

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Paula, graphic design sounds good for Jack. That is another option available at the JVS that David should probably look at too while we are there.

David finally did get some help yesterday with unit 4, lesson 1. The thing that makes me want to  Banging head is that David NEVER asked for help. Had I not called to talk with the woman at his school about taking him to visit the JVS on Friday and happened to mention the problem he was having, he would still be stuck. As of last night, he was on lesson 2! Does Jack have trouble asking for help?

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Jack is actually really good about self-advocating. He has had such good support in the schools, and I think he has realized that people are pretty much always happy to help him. My son Dan, however, is terrible at that. To be honest, I have a rough time with asking for help too. Dan needed help with Biology and was super frustrated (crying) at home, so I contacted his teacher. She helped him, but she said the fact that he needed help wasn't nearly as big an issue as the fact that he was unable to ask for the help. He is a freshman, and he will HAVE to advocate for himself when he goes to college. I guess he has three more years to learn that skill. I hate to have to be looking over his shoulder all the time. I need to figure out how to make him responsible for those things.

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Jack is right, most people are happy to help you out when you ask. David, Dan and Abi need to learn how to ask when they need it. Abi is improving somewhat because I just flat out refused to email her teacher to deal with a situation. I can't remember whether or not she actually handled it or let it go but at least I stayed out of it. Maybe if you stay out of it and Dan fails an assignment because he doesn't ask for help? Unfortunately that isn't going to help David. It will be one of his IEP goals for fall.

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I am convinced that a bachelor's degree from a four year college is not such a great help in finding a career or even a job these days. It almost seems as if graduate school is necessary now. The other route is a trade or technical school. In this economy that route is looking better and better.

My daughter realized that with a regular degree in dietary science she would earn less than she does as a waitress. So after four years of college, she is now adding on a one year technical school certification class lol. I swear she will be in school forever. When she is done she should be able to get a decent job. She will know dietary science, do blood draws, EKGs, medical billing and a bunch of other stuff.

My son who has been out of school for a few years, has recently gone back. He has a great job, but realized that at age 25 he had pretty much hit the top of the pay scale without another degree. He is taking courses at night.

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even when I thought David would end up with a 4 yr. degree, I was encouraging him to pursue something where he would have a job skill. even back when I graduated from college a lot of people ended up with useless degrees. one guy I know had a sociology major and ended up working at pizza hut. my brother graduated with a clinical psychology degree. after he worked at a boys home for juvenile delinquents for a little while he went back and got his teaching certificate in history and sociology because otherwise he would have needed graduate school.

Barb, I'm glad yours have both figured something out. Being in school forever is okay as long as you don't end up with nothing but a lot of debt.

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David so so excited about attending the JVS next year. The computerized design & drafting classroom is impressive. They have 3D printers along with a room full of great computers. He met the math teacher. Given his love for math, that will likely be his favorite teacher. She seemed really nice. The man that gave us the tour said that David should be accepted. He just has to make sure David has had all of the classes that he needs (I'm almost sure he does). It will be a really big change for him going from a school where the class size is no more than 5 to where there are 18 students or more in his classes. He REALLY needs to learn to ask for help when he needs it.

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I'm glad he's excited, Annette! That's great, and it must be a huge relief to you!

I agree that it's hard to get jobs with "just" a college degree these days. I'm glad your kids have figured out the right path for them, Barb. Both of their plans sound good. I had to take a pay cut to go from waitressing to my engineering internship too, but fortunately I was still living with my parents at the time so I could afford to make that investment. It definitely "paid" off.

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What's up, Annette?

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I found out yesterday the deadline for pre-calculus isn't 4/11 but 4/1 and I wasn't told. She said she told David but he doesn't remember being told. Even if he was told, he is a child with impaired communication skills. Really? Now he will get a lousy grade in the class unless God starts giving David the answers (not totally impossible right?). If I had any doubts about moving him next year they are gone.

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Thank God, Ms. Reed and the online school people for more time. We discovered that David had been working hard but not consistently. There were long periods of time he was logged on but didn't do anything. Of course that made me most unhappy with him. Now he knows it is being tracked. Sigh! I hope he learns his lesson well so we don't have a repeat ever. We had a conference call during lunch so I could have a talk with him since I will be at work when he gets home.

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I'm glad you are getting more time. That bit of accountability from being tracked is probably a good thing.

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this morning I asked David how much he got done last night (he was asleep when I came in from work). he said he got TWO lessons done. I had to resist the urge to beat on him. Seriously, all of this time he was supposedly working "hard", he never got more than two lessons done on a weekend day. Now that he is faced with having to miss choir until he takes his final exam he suddenly finds the ability to work quicker. Argh!

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Better late than never, right? Go David!

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I always found bribery to be a powerful tool lol. I told my kids that they could not get their driver's license unless they qualified for the good student insurance discount. So they had to make honor roll every marking period if they wanted to drive. It worked! Obviously music is a good motivation for David.

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I agree that "bribery" is a great tool, or maybe we should call it "incentives" LOL.

Haven't been in this thread for ages, ladies  Embarassed though I certainly qualify age-wise  Laughing But I'm always  glad about what an awesome tight-nit community you guys have built! I'll try to come back more often Smile




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at some point, driving will also be a big motivator for David but for now, music will do. next year we will have to come up with something since choir will be a distant memory and driving isn't happening until he has a job to pay for it. the one lady who started David's school says that it is really really expensive to insure someone with autism.

Made, good to see you in this thread. Come back soon!

music is big for both of my children. tonight we went to Abi's musical (they did the little mermaid). she was in the chorus since she is in 7th grade. next year she will be able to audition for a part.

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My mom passed this morning. Her suffering is finally over. She was the strongest person I have ever known. The last time she was able to eat or drink was a week ago. But she held on until all of my siblings and many of the grandchildren were able to get to Cape Cod and say goodbye. I don't know how she did it.

Sunday morning she was able to shower and dress herself even after almost six days with no food or fluids. Then she sat down and did a NY Times crossword puzzle with me. She was able to come up with more answers than I was. She was just waiting for my last brother to get there. He arrived from the airport at noon on Sunday. She spent 15 minutes with him and then announced that she was ready to be moved into the hospice facility. We would have kept her at home, but she insisted on going in.

She asked that I be the one to ride in the ambulance with her. They do not allow you to transport to hospice yourself, it must be by ambulance. On that ride she finally admitted that she was in pain. It is the first time in my life that I have seen my mother cry. It was also the first time that I ever heard my mother say the words "I love you". It's not that she was unloving or cold. We always knew she loved us. She simply wasn't the touchy feely type. Then she told me that she was going to die on Tuesday. So typical of her to micro manage even this lol. She passed just after midnight.

Once at the hospice facility they hooked her up to a morphine pump. Thankfully her last hours were pain free. She told me that I was like her. So she knew that I wouldn't cry or get overly dramatic. She thought I should go home and get back to my work, kids and dog. So I am home, but not quite as strong as she was. There are tears and I am not going to work.

She hated funerals, and put her final wishes in writing. No funeral, not even a service. We are all to gather on the Cape this Summer to scatter her ashes and have a big family BBQ with all her favorite foods.

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Barb, I am crying now too...apparently I'm not as strong as she was either. Thank you for sharing those memories with us. I can't believe that she went that quickly, but I guess when you can't eat or drink anything, your body just shuts down. I'm so glad that you got to have that last special time with her and that everyone got to see her before she passed away. It's great that she didn't have any pain at the end. That all must have been so hard. I actually love her idea of a huge BBQ this summer, especially since you can all enjoy the foods that she couldn't have at the end. What a great way to celebrate her memory and her life.

I wish I were there to give you a big hug. I know you will feel her absence so strongly. Hang in there. We are all thinking of you.

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I am such a cryer so of course I am crying. Ditto to all of what Paula wrote. I will keep your family in my prayers.

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Barb Hug So, so sorry about your mom! By your words, I get she was a wise woman, really caring people are not always the touchy feely ones. Glad she was surrounded by her family during her last days. May she rest in peace.

Hope all of you get comfort from each other. What a lovely idea to get together on the Cape in Summer, not only to pay her your last goodbyes but also to celebrate her life.

You do know we are all here for you, right? Come cry, reminisce or rant whenever you need.

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Hug Barb. I am so sorry to hear this, but happy that you and your family got to spend time and say goodbye. I am at work crying now for you. If you need anything, we are here.

I love the idea of the barbeque for her this summer... that will be a beautiful tribute.

You are in my thoughts...

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Barb, I wish I could come give you a big hug in person. I don't know how it feels to lose a parent but I do know how it feels to watch one suffer. I am also here if you ever need anything at all.

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Happy birthday Jeannie! have a great day! also, happy belated end of tax season.


we have had quite a time here the last week+. David came down with the flu (Brian brought it home from work) the day he was supposed to take his online pre-calc final. He was allowed to take it twice (in case he didn't pass the first time) but given his inability to move out of bed, he only took it once (last Friday). He still wasn't well but he had to take it. I did a lot of praying and some fasting for him. Praise God he passed (barely)! He ended up with a C. David told me that he had to have gotten more than half of the questions right that he guessed on so prayer does work! of course he still had to go to school this week (his spring break starts tomorrow and goes through the end of next week). he missed monday but powered through the last 3 days. most of his break will be spent catching up and doing a lot of the second semester pre-calc work. Abi's spring break was this week of course. I only get one day where I don't have to get someone up and going (tomorrow). At least I get the day off work tomorrow!

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Jeannie, I hope you are celebrating your birthday and end of tax season! I'm super busy as I'm moving in less than two weeks. Between packing and going back up to the Cape to help my brother clean out Mom's place, I feel a bit overwhelmed. I can't wait for May to get here.

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Thanks for the birthday wishes! It was a quiet day, but a pleasant one. I was off work, and only left the house to go to the DMV and renew my driver's license. I actually got the best license picture I have ever had... Going to hate to give this one up in 4 years. LOL Face

I am off again today. I am going to take my mom shopping this morning. We haven't gone out since before Christmas, so I am looking forward to it.

Barb, I have been thinking of you. I hope your move goes smoothly. Hug

Annette, I am glad that David was able to take and pass his exam, and that he is feeling better.

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Sounds like a great birthday Jeannie. I love the quiet days the most.

I took Abi to the doctor yesterday for an appointment and they weighed and measured her. She grew again! She is now 5' 9 3/4" but she still only weighs 84.8 lbs. I wish she could donate some of her metabolism to me.

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Happy belated birthday, Jeannie! I'm glad you had a nice day and that the driver's license gods blessed you on your special day.

Wow, Annette, I can't believe she is that tall and that skinny! Does she eat a lot? I'm glad David passed his test and that he gets a little break now.

Barb, you've been on my mind a lot. It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry that things are so stressful right now. I can't imagine having to deal with all of that all at once.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

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