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Jasmine

A Cutter's Prayer (not mine)

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Dear God,
I cry as I watch myself
Go through the motions
Of slicing a line into my arm
I know that I’m not myself –
I’m trapped in addiction –
As the blood drips down my arm

Every scar holds a story
Of emotional pain and self-hate
But it’s wrong and I’m sorry –
This is not what I wanted to create

And, yet, I do it again and again
Slicing lines into my tender skin
Watching the blood fall
On the shower floor and wall

I know that I need some help
And I’m praying that You’ll help me
Coz I can’t break this addiction on my own,
But I’m so ready to be free
So I sit here on the floor
And pray that I won’t cut any more
I toss the blade in the dumpster outside
And in my locker I hide
Crying out for deliverance
From the addiction I’m bound to
I pray in repentance
To be saved from it all by You

I fall into Your loving arms
That hold me so tight
And keep me safe from all the harm
I caused myself that night.
And as I watch You heal my pain
I dry my tears and know
That You can cleanse me of every stain
And wash me white as snow

Amen.

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