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VeRoCkStAr

cooking for in laws

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I made a big meal, but my in laws wouldn't eat anything I had prepared. They'd eat only some pickles and olives I had bought at the store. Nobody talked or laughed--there was an eerie silence. I felt sad, hurt and uncomfortable because I had spent a lot of time. energy and money on this meal. I was horrified my brother in law wanted ketchup. Also, I had a hard time finding plates for everybody.

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This is just a thought, but is there tension in this family? Do you have a hard time feeling like you fit in?

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I have no insight for you, other than I can sympathize. For years I dealt with the same thing from my inlaws. I literally stopped taking food to their get togethers because they wouldn't eat anything I had prepared. I found out later that they didn't understand my husband's and my decision for me to be a stay at home mom. They thought I should work and help him support us. So I was the "lazy" daughter/sister-in-law. It wasn't until years later, when my inlaws worked in a ministry with us, that they realized I wasn't the way they had judged me to be. (and it probably helped that their "wonderful" son-in-laws who they used to rave about haven't turned out to be the Prince Charmings they thought they were!).
This one thing I know, and do want to encourage you---keep loving your husband and being the best you can be. Treat them nicely, but don't get dragged down by their drama, and know that God is faithful. He will vindicate you!!

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I can relate to the being called lazy part. I was a stay-at-home mom and for 12 years a homeschooling mom and now for the last two years my husband's caregiver, and for that I've been called lazy, but I think the real issue is not my cooking (in real life they love my cooking) but more that they don't appreciate what I have to offer and they especially don't respect my boundaries.

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