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Posts posted by SkyDancer

  1. Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.

    Oprah Winfrey, in Good Housekeeping


    Now this, is what honor and integrity is all about. Do things, not for acknowledgement, not for praise. DO it anyway, even when others will know about it, or NOT!

  2. I have just a couple of questions. For one, it took HOURS for my forum to transfer here. SORRY, I am the impatient sort. hahaha.  Thing is I created one on this site. NOW I have 2 of them and of course I noted a difference between them. I cannot create new categories and forums, in the transferred one from Forumotion, which I WOULD like too do on this site only instead of going back and forth. Not only that, but on the forumotion one, the new categories I HAVE created, have not transferred here. Is this going too be an issue? Waiting for hours or day's before they transfer?  This is the site I created here, where I CAN create Categories and Forums. 

    And this is the site that transferred from Forumotion, where I would like too continue too create Categories and forum, but I am not able too... Can you make it possible too create these forums and Categories in this transferred site? 


  3. A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

    However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

    After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

    One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”

    “My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

  4. Farts and 2 fingers


    Herman and Martha were happily married for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up Martha and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning. Herman told her that he couldn't help it.

    She begged him to visit a doctor to see if anything could be done, but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function, and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out." The years went by and Martha continued to suffer and Herman continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Christmas morning. Before dawn, Martha went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed Christmas pudding, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course a turkey. While she was taking out the turkeys innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem.

    With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husband would awake. While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back her husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs to finish preparing the family meal.

    Several hours later she heard Herman awake with his normal loud ass trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom. Martha could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him she had finally gotten even.

    About twenty minutes later, Herman came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror in his eyes. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter.

    "Honey, " he said. "You were right - all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you."

    "What do you mean?" asked Martha.

    "Well, you always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got them all back in."

  5. And Elderly couple were in church, when the wife turns too the husband and say's, "I have just done a silent fart, what should I do?" The Husband responds, "Put new batteries in your hearing aid."
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