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Christa

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Posts posted by Christa


  1. Cholette, you don't believe me? Narcissists are ego-centric. Everything is revolved around what I could do for him, and if I refused to do it, he would verbally abuse me....it would be my fault. He never once took me on a date. I even invited him out and offered to buy him dinner, he wouldn't go because he didn't have the time. I would say, "You never have time" and he would always laugh, in a mocking sort of way, like he would take pleasure in my pain of not being able to see him. I told him I needed to spend time with him at least two days a week (because he would go a couple of weeks without seeing me or even talking to me), or else I was going to break it off with him. He promised he could do a couple of days a week, but didn't follow through. Actually, after that promise, I didn't see him for 3 weeks. When we'd hang out, it would be about his pleasure, not mine....ever. He's the opposite of empathetic....would only ask me how I was doing as a lead into questioning me as to when we'd "get together" again. He would beg me to send nude pictures to him, and when I wouldn't he would abuse me and say, "Well, you don't know how to take care of your man then." It was my fault I had values.

    Deborah, no, I don't suffer with headaches... neck aches daily though.

    Sister, thank you for that....I feel like you understand what I'm going through.

    I know people's intentions with tough love are good, I've just come to take it as disrespect because I'm nearly 40 years old and I can choose to do what I wish. I don't intentionally date narcissists, but I attract them...once I'm in the relationship and all of the glory wears off, they start to act like themselves...doing less for me and then using lies, manipulation, or whatever to keep me around, because I take care of them well and make their lives better. For my daughter's and my sake, I'm completely withdrawing from dating until I'm emotionally healthy again. I'm also going on a hunt to find out how to immediately know whether a person is a narcissist or not. I don't want to be anywhere near any narcissists, whether male or female. It all boils down to being able to discern what is God and what is witchcraft, I suppose.

  2. Thank you Deborah and Cholette. Yeah, I'm totally seeing the pattern....but in hindsight!!!! I need to be able to spot a narcissist from a mile away. I ended up bugging him the other day (calling him multiple times, texting him at the same time) to push him to the point of breaking up with me. It worked, and he broke up with me, but he's already tried once to suck me back in. Thank God I had the strength to ignore and delete his text, but if he tries again and again, and if I get increasingly lonely...I just don't trust myself. Yes, I need some deliverance from the ungodly soul-tie issues.... and healing. This guy drained the life out of me.

  3. I have a boyfriend that is a narcissist. I've had the worst dreams about him trying to hurt me or leave me to die. Every time I tell him I want to break up, he begs me not to stop seeing him. When he met me, he lied and said he was a Christian and all sorts of good things. He's a poser and incapable of love, but we've done 'stuff' because I was weak and he's convincing. Now he keeps sucking me back into his web of lies, promising me love and all that, but all that occurs is us fooling around for a half an hour every 2-3 weeks. This guy is poison, but I have a hard time with narcissists because I'm really good at problem solving, and they have huge issues. They never want to break up with me because they get used to me being their doormat. I wish I could get mad enough to tell this guy to go fly a kite...but everything I've tried hasn't been working. God has really been good at sabotaging us getting together recently, but I need this ungodly soul tie severed for good, or made holy asap. However, I don't see us ever having a future or a holy relationship as long as he's a narcissist. I really need prayer.

  4. Hey, remember this song:

    "Here's a little song I wrote.....might want to sing it note for note.....don't worry.....be happy.....don't worry, be happy now......

    Oooo...ooo.....ooooo.....oooo.....ooo...ooo...oo...o...oooo...ooo...oooooo.....ooooooooooooooo....Don't worry....

    ooo.oooo.oooo...ooooo...oooo.....ooooo....oooo.oooooo......Be happy....

    oooo...oooo.....ooooo....ooo...oooo........ Don't worry, be happy now...."

    Doesn't this song make you want to visit a beach and basque in the sunlight?! Maybe even have a fruity drink with a little umbrella hangin' out the top. wow :hooray: :shocking:

    Hey all..... we're all going to get over our crap and see happier times! Believe it! It's true! Change is stability, and it's certain to happen... why not believe for happier times??!! You're blessed and not cursed!

    happy dance

  5. I had a couple of thoughts about your dream. Please disregard if they don't ring true in your spirit:

    I'm thinking that maybe you'll be giving birth to a ministry (or a time-consuming project). It'll be hard work at first, but it's your ministry, so you will put the effort into it and nurture it. Your husband will encourage you, because it's your thing, but because he didn't help you in the dream, it might not be his thing necessarily....so he will be supportive, but doesn't want to interfere and will let you have the freedom to do what you have to do.

    Are you starting a new job, or embarking on a new project? Because you were very pregnant in the dream, I'm wondering if this is something that you've been incubating for about 9 months now and this baby is going to manifest any day now. :)

  6. Hi Jazzy,

    When I first read your title, I got a thought as to maybe what your dream meant. As far as my dreams go, babies don't usually mean babies. A lot of times they mean: Pet projects (your 'baby'), jobs, time-consuming things you're committed too nurturing...even a marriage. The age of the babies are important because they are like time mile-markers. So a 1 or 2 month old baby would mean something's 1 or 2 months away from being manifested into your reality. I think the babies talking to each other could've meant: Two projects or jobs will be meshing or merging (joining forces). Or it could mean that two married couples find friendship and start a bond with each other in 1 or 2 months.

    My mom once had a dream that ~my daughter was taller and her hair was longer (representing that she had gotten older). She was outside with my daughter and it was very sunny and warm. She noticed that our elderly next door neighbor decided to move to the end of the street (north of our houses). ~ This was the end of her dream. I told her that our nextdoor neighbor was probably going to pass away that summer based upon the signs in the dream, that my daughter had aged and it was warm outside, and that Bill was "movin' on up" (to Heaven). The dream came true and he did pass away that summer. It was a little strange because he was old, but perfectly healthy, then he slipped and fell in his house and ended up in the hospital for 3 days....where he then passed. I pay extra attention to dreams with babies in them. They are "a gift from the Lord" and they seem to always have some sort of significance in my dreams at least.

    Hope that helped. God bless you.

  7. So, I have this dream that this guy I have a crush on (in real life) hands me a card, but it's only the top side of the card. It looks like a Valentine's Day card and has red and white symmetrical designs on it (squares and rectangle boxes of color mostly). There is pretty writing on the top of the card too, but I don't know what it says. It looked like a somewhat tattered Valentine's day card. When he handed it to me, it crumbled in my hands. This kind of ticked me off.

    In real life I woke up from this dream and asked God to give me another dream to somewhat clarify the one before. When I fell asleep again, I dreamt of him standing in front of me again. He handed me something else. It was a plastic mixing bowl, but it was very thin plastic. Almost so thin that it could break with the weight of any food in it. It wasn't a functional bowl really. I was a little ticked off at this too, but not as ticked off as I was with the crumbling Valentine's Day card.

    Any takers on this dream? Everybody's comments and interpretations are welcome. Thank you.

  8. As you saw by my post yesterday, MAAAANNNN I was in a funk. Well, I just got some news that just broke it....completely unrelated, but it's the news I needed. I'm on the welfare system...food stamps and everything. They recently gave me all kinds of aptitude tests, and one in particular was called the Raven, which was an intelligence test. When the psychologists who oversaw the administering of these tests pulled me in to discuss them, they told me I didn't miss even one answer on the Raven. They said they'd never seen results like that before with Calworks recipients, and that I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I decided to look up Mensa, which is an organization for people who score within the 98th percentile of intelligence across the world. I applied to get into this organization, because my perfect score made me within the top 99th percentile. You guys....I got the acceptance email today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm freaking out a little...in a good way though! happy dance

    Wheeeew! Thank you, Jesus! Whoever thought a person on welfare would be the next Mensan member???!!!! Unbelievable! I so needed that good news today!

  9. Court went badly in my opinion. The judge didn't grant the divorce, and didn't raise the child support up from $31 a month. I'm usually pretty good emotionally after court, but this time, I'm not doing so well with it because I thought I was done for a while. I'm not going to pursue the divorce further for now, because I'm just too tired emotionally. I'd be lying if I said I weren't angry, disappointed, sad, and just messed up over this limbo hell I'm in. I love Jesus, and I don't deserve all of the grace he's given me, so I just try to level myself thinking those things. However, I'm in a fog of denial and not happy.

    I do thank you all for your continued prayer. This site is awesome and very uplifting. Thank you for replying with your kind words.

    God Bless,

    Christa

  10. Well, I have some good news followed by a prayer request. I got full custody of my daughter, and her dad still has supervised monitored visitations. I was finally granted a restraining order that protects my daughter and I, which doesn't deture him from driving by our house several times a month, but I'm grateful for what I have!

    I was also accepted into a state university all expenses paid with no loan debt! I'm now a junior majoring in Family Consumer Sciences and should receive my Bachelors of Science in a little over a year. You know, God is good! I did my best to remain in faith during these hard times, and He brought me through it with favor and blessings on top of it!

    My prayer request: I need peace when I go to court on Monday. I don't want to be nervous or anxious....or come out with a headache because I was in court all day. I just need it to be a short and sweet experience, with God's favor and protection for my daughter and I. My husband had threatened to kill me over $50- once, so he's no joy to be around...even if I'm in the confines of a protected and secured court house. I honestly wish he wouldn't show up, and that the judge will rule with what she sees as fair. I just don't want to deal with the guy anymore, he's a dangerous and violent criminal, and isn't good for my daughter or myself. He needs Jesus...and I pray for him constantly...that the Lord would bless him and draw him to Him.

    Thanks for your prayers. Hope everyone is doing well. ;)

  11. Thank you, Daisy. My daughter's father was hanging around our house today, but wasn't within the 100 yards of being in violation of the restraining order....so, he didn't get picked up from the police. I have a praise report, though: God keeps making him visible to me. It's amazing how I've caught him near our house twice in less than a month. The police haven't caught him yet, but God is letting me know that He has an eye on him and is giving me a glipse of what's going on. It's like God is keeping me in the loop so that I won't let my guard down. This is one of those "Paul" moments, where a thorn is strategically placed in my side, yet God's grace is sufficient for me! So, I should be happy during this time and not let it affect my joy, because God allowed this thorn in my side for my better good down the road! Because in my weakness, his power is made perfect!Whew! I'm like David encouraging myself right now! God is good, and I know He loves me more than I can even comprehend. I'm so glad I'm His child and that Jesus died for me so that I could be adopted into His awesome Kingdom! Woo-hoo!

  12. I rarely post dreams online anymore, but this one was timely and worrisome.

    I was watching some sort of conference going on. There was stadium seating and Pres. Obama was in the middle row in the middle section. I don't think it was the White House because he would never be sitting with others in a conference there. Maybe it was the UN conference, but he was there with the others in the stadium seating, and was square in the middle of everyone (maybe the center of attention?).

    I was watching this as if I were watching breaking news, but I was there in spirit I guess. Pres. Obama looked bored. He had his head leaning on his left hand. His hand was in an "L" shape with his index finger and thumb cradling his face. He looked absolutely bored.

    Then I was momentarily out of that scene and was now looking at a black and white newspaper article clipping of him. It was showing the same exact thing I just saw with him being bored, resting his head on his "L" shaped fingers. Then, I popped back into the "real" scene and I was back watching him live again ....remaining bored.

    All of a sudden, a huge explosion went off. It shook the building. Everybody in the stadium seating got up and began to hurry out to their left (my right because I was looking up at them). When they got to the aisles, Pres. Obama headed downstairs towards the awaiting Secret Service. Everyone else headed upstairs to take cover, or to just get out of there.

    After everyone scurried out of the building, a news reporter began to interview people. They interviewed this Jewish lady who had been close to the explosion. She was petite, light-skinned, and had brown hair, big eyes, a little nose and a small mouth/lips. She was visibly upset, but was managing to explain pretty clearly what had happened.

    The theme of this dream is news, news, news. It involves our highest political office to hold - the presidency. I'm thinking this may be a prophetic dream, but hopefully it's not. Please pray that any decisions lying in wait (or veto) of Pres. Obama, will be made with submissiveness to the will of God, and not the president's will. We don't need a reoccurance of Isaiah 9:10, where those in political authority pronouce judgement on the members of it's own nation. Pray for the state of Israel, and that Palestine does not get the UN vote to take over East Jerusalem. Any nation who is not for Israel is going to "get it" from God. We don't want to be one of those nations because we want to be blessed; not plagued with earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, volcanic erruptions, mudslides, drought, famine, plagues and the like.


  13. There's something about this year....it's like hot and cold. Either really good things are happening, or really bad things are happening. I got accepted in a university by such a miracle that it's hard to believe, but in the same week, I'd had the hardest custody issues I've ever had regarding my daughter. I don't know why God allows what he does, but honestly, my stomach is in knots over all of the stress I've been dealing with. This stomach pain started when I began having custody issues (in order to keep my daughter safe with me, and not watch her deteriorate in the care of her felon, drug addict father) two years ago.

    Please remember me in your prayers as I'm trying to raise a precious 3 year old on my own, and also protect her from him. Maybe you can agree with me that God will send her father to Alaska. I need to move on with my life, and I can't even bear the thought of dealing with this crap with her father; while taking 4 college classes plus raising a child in the way she needs to be raised (loving Jesus, honoring people, and having an excellent spirit).

    Thank you for your kindness. God bless.

  14. Oh girl....I'm so sorry to hear that. I had a friend who committed suicide several years ago. She was convinced that Jesus wanted her to kill herself to be with him. It's just so sad. She was a genius, in that MENSA organization. I wish I would've gotten in her face every day, picked a fight with her or something, to show her a different perspective, or to get her to defend herself. I ignored the empathy I felt in my heart for her. The sting of her death still hurts to this day. God bless you, hun. Just try to be there for the family of your friend as much as you can. Suicide seems to be contageous and the spirit of depression and hopelessness needs to be broken off of this family.

  15. Hi Connie! You know, I think that burden becomes greater the more we take on the heart of Jesus. If we seek His love for people (even our enemies), He'll change our whole perspective on individuals, groups of people, then nations. The Bible says that in the end times, "the love of many will wax cold." Some preachers call this "cold love." However, the Christians who press on, and love people anyway, with reckless abandon, are going to get that double dose of Jesus' heart for the lost.

  16. Right now (7-31-2011 at 10:00pm PST) MSN news headline says "Brazil Accuses 251 Employers of Slave-like Labor" see the link here: http://news.yahoo.com/brazil-accuses-251-employers-slave-labor-201354154.html Please continue to pray for Brazil, because more is coming for them.

    In the dream I was in Brazil. I guess I had just moved there and was trying to get my bearings. I was outside about ready to head up stairs at some public place. It was really sunny outside. I saw a heavy set girl like me running down a flight of stairs, but they weren't ordinary stairs. Instead of steps, they were poles (about 2 inches in diameter), and they were atleast 2 feet apart. She was coming down the "stairs" (poles) with high heels on and I thought for sure she'd fall on her face. However, she was so used to going up and down these horrible poles daily that she could've done it with her eyes closed without falling. If somebody missed the step (pole), they would've plunged at least 10 feet. I thought, "Wow, people can really get hurt here."

    I had a second part of this dream regarding stairs. A bunch of people were heading downstairs (both of the dreams people were heading downstairs instead of upstairs). These stairs looked like regular stairs, but the stairways were very tall and not wide enough for people to comfortably run up and down. There were a lot of people on this tight/cramped/steep stairway of about 4 floors (the stairs zig zagged up). As I was watching these people come down, an earthquake hit, and everybody came barreling down, piling on top of each other. The stairs were not built well, and the structure somewhat fell apart. I started to panic a little for the woman who was at the very bottom of the pile.

    End result: Somehow, the people at the bottom of the pile came out first. There was a lady who had a pretty bad injury to her chest, and was expressing her pain. The lady at the very bottom walked away just fine.

    For about a year now, I've preferred to interpret and figure out my own dreams. I'm pretty sure I know what this one is about. I believe it's a call to pray for Brazil, which is why I'm posting it on this site. I don't know much about Brazil, but God has been burdening my heart about this country for several months now. I've had many dreams of the Brazilian government treating it's citizens like cattle....working them really hard for very little or no pay. Especially amongst the elderly. And that the working conditions are poor; having little ventilation for the intense heat, and no shoes to protect their feet.

    I believe there's a deep rooted grief and hopelessness the Brazilians are experiencing....which God want's us Christians to spiritually pick up on and help carry that burden some way. Jesus told us to "bear one another's burdens." I believe Jesus causes us to encounter people with certain burdens because we have what it takes to help get them through it. It's the weight-bearing spiritual exercise that builds our spiritual muscle. Burden-bearing is called "Empathy." Jesus is the ultimate Empath, and we should desire to have the heart of Jesus for others. When we help someone with their burden, our Savior is right there helping us help them....carrying us while we carry a part of another's burden.

    Anyhow, please pray for Brazil and the spiritual condition of their hearts. That Jesus will reveal himself to them in a unique way, so that they will find joy no matter the circumstance. Pray for their salvation, and for miracles and an open Heaven over their country, like Jacob's Ladder (which has been interpreted as a spiral stairway by theologians...instead of a ladder). Pray for revival in Brazil, as well as in the body of Christ all over the world.

  17. Thanks Connie and Linda. Yeah, Linda....I'm so creeped out about Russia being mixed into the mess. God always confirms his messages to us a few times. He's starting to broaden the borders of our territories like he did Jabez. He always supplies givers with seed. We all as Christians need to have the guts to stand with Israel. You can share this with anyone you like. Thanks for replying!
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