Jasmine

Thx people. Keep praying. They are doing more tests. She'll have a cat scan on her chest and abdomin (Monday), she'll have a rectal sonogram (Tuesday), then she'll discuss treatment (sometime after that). I'll try to update my best. :)

Bad news. The tumor is malignant.

thx

thanks

thx very encouraging

thx keep praying!

thx

So, here's the story: I went to the doctor and he wanted me to use a heating pad every day. And she's asking me if I want her to bring it upstairs, then she said that I better use the heating pad, because she wants me to be better. I was thinking she was going to say something sweet, but she said that this leg problem that I have is costing her financially and she's in a tight budget and doesn't wanna keep spending money, something like that. Her tenant can't pay the security because he has to pay for something else and it's pretty serious. So this month's spending is going to be tight. But why say such a thing. I realize that my injury is a burden to everyone, but why speak about it. Words are powerful and God thinks so too. There's probably a couple of hundred verses in the Bible about using words.

It's a burden on everybody else too
Teacher's- I walk slower when we have to travel around the building.
schoolmates- I walk up and down the stairs slow
gym teacher- i can't do gym
sister- family members can't take us places (we need to take the train) although my sister complains a lot and tells me to suck it up
Mom- i told u already
God- Emotional burden, I don't know what else. God can fill in the blanks.
Me- emotional, frustration, easily tired, pain every day, slight humiliation (i fear school kids are making fun of me), fear of always being like this, discomfort.

I feel as if my mom thinks this problem is a heartache on her wallet. She's complaining about my problem. Another funny thing is that she condones my sister when she complains and here she is now doing the same thing.

BTW: My lateral collateral ligament is sprained, I have increased fluid in my knee, and I have large debris in my knee (i guess stuff chipped off).

My grandma has a tumor in her rectum. The doctor did a biopsy and sent it to the lab. Please pray that it's 100% harmless. My grandma is turning 72. I don't want her to go! She's supposed to have a long life (she obeyed her parents) and people in the Bible lived longer than that, so I guess 72 is still too young for God. I SAY THAT TUMOR WILL NEVER BE MALIGNANT IN JESUS NAME!!!!!!!

Idk if this counts but I was praying to God and I asked for a hug and I all of a sudden felt heat on the front part of my body and back two as if someone was hugging me.

Hello?

thx

I am not totally sure if this dream is from God. But I think it's not an ordinary dream. I had it this morning. When I feel asleep it was passed 7 a.m. then when I woke up it was before 8:54 a.m. Naturally, REM sleep or dream sleep takes a long time, more than a couple of hours. I guess this dream is one of those crazy awake/asleep dreams. The funny thing is that I didn't feel awake at all. The dream went on continuously and it was a long dream!

Well, here's the dream: It began with me thinking about my relationship with Jesus and how he not just my friend, but someone I can't live without. The scene changes and I'm in my aunt's old apartment on the bed. My friend was there with me on the bed. We both had laptops and we were preparing to have cyber sex (which is really stupid since we were both in the room) and we were undressing. I heard someone coming and I tried to hide my friend. Then, i ran to the door to lock it but my sister (person I heard coming) opened it. I think my grandma was there too. Then I went to the living room. My grandpa was angry. Then someone called my friends mother. I waited for her to come. I think I went to talk to my friend and tell him his mom was coming. Then His mom came and went into the room. Then, they both came out and my grandpa talked to them in an angry voice (he was talking like that the whole dream). And he turned to me and said, "Are your hands washed?" I knew he meant have I asked God to forgive me. I told him I'm doing it now.

The scene changes again. I don't know where we were but my friend was there too. We talked about the consequences of what happened earlier. My mom only gave me a lecture. His mom kept him from going to a trip he really wanted to go to.

love ya

Thx Connie

Grey Butterfly wrote:

Oh God....... that makes me want to cry.

Surround Jasmine with your presence, with the thickness of your love and infuse her with a confidence and a joy that was available to your loved ones even in the darkness of Auschwitz... God you are able.... I trust that you will.

Jasmine, I think that God has written your name on my heart, I will check back and I will keep praying for you.

Love Diane

Auschwitz? I never thought of it that way. It used to feel like an underground prison. Now, it feels a little like debtors prison! Thx Diane

I'm pulling through. But this state or "place" is my normal everyday. So, in a way, I'm "fine".

thx

I'm not being sexually abused but i got problems with sex. Thx

bless u too!

thx Connie (that's ur name, right?)

dreamster wrote:

yes ugh,, u feel like a flat battery,,

Yea. I feel so tired and warn out and when I do nothing like on Saturdays, i regret it.

dreamster wrote:

i wonder if procrastination is linked 2 depression, ,, werby a person depressed feels disempowered 2 do even simple tasks,

Yup! It can be. I has depression (i wonder if its rearing its ugly head again) before and one of the symptoms is feeling tired and weak. That means you don't feel like doing anything. For me, I hated my procrastination cause I dream big. Big dreams+ambition+faith= big job. Go figure!

Please pray that I totally surrender the weight loss thing to God and never pick it up again. But I'm confused. I weight loss you have to lose weight and gain muscle. I've heard of instant weight loss miracles, but I've prayed for that. Also, I've lost 9 pounds (maybe more), but I don't feel any different. My doctor said to lose weight and that's what I did. So what am I to do if i surrender? Do nothing and just do my at home exercises for my knee and ankle? Also please pray that my pain decreases. My ankle was hurting so much last session that my therapist could barely work with it.

bless u too