Jasmine

I used to spend time with him a lot. But even then I got a miniscule amount of him when i was just focusing on him. I don't know the difference in our lives for some reason you get the bread and I'm the house pet that gets the crumbs. I don't get it. Heck! I don't want to get it. I God loves me as much as he claims he does then he's gonna be the one to do something about it.

I picked up that from life and maybe my mom. The church I go to is totally bible believing andfaith filled. I know what happens if I turn my back on him but he promised healing and he promised the holy spirit and he promised a lot but none of it has come to pass and I have been waiting for years always yearning for God but only getting a small sip once in a while. All i wanted to know is when and where. Now my question is why not.

I was searching God for HIMSELF. I got a little of track for a week. I was expecting Pentecost service to be a pivotal day in my life. But whole day I was asking for healing and for the outpouring of his spirit on me. Five spirit-filled people pray for me, all telling me what I already know. But since nothing happened, I'm keeping up with my promise. God wouldn't turn his face to me. I'm turning my back on him. If he wants me. he's gotta walk through my bedroom door, or some equivalent. I know God loves me, I know God wants me as his, I know he wants his best for me, but he also let suffering be part of my life. I know there's a plan for my pain, but if God lets me suffer at the gain of other people, why stay? I have always felt pain. I'm used to feeling pain. I want to feel something different for a season, and I know that's not too much to ask. If was focused on God and nothing else, not even my healing, the outcome would've been the same. I'm done.

I am so angry at God. I don't care if I don't have a right or even a reason. My feelings are valid and I don't give a crap about your opinion on how I should be feeling. I want/need my healing and I refuse to accept "My grace is sufficient." I have been dealing with a bad season in my life for years. YEARS! I almost done with God! If he doesn't do a miracle, if he doesn't show me something supernatural, if nothing happens, I'm becoming a freaking God-hater. I won't be an atheist cause I will still believe he exists. I know what he has done on the cross for me, I know he saved me from killing myself before, but what about right now! He may have kept me alive for one more day, he may have given me clothes to wear and food to eat, and all that wonderful crap! BUT THAT IS NOT ENOUGH, Why can't anyone, especially God understand?!?!?! I'm grateful but, I WANT MORE!!!!!. I'm sick of waiting for him to turn his face to me. If he doesn't save me, if he doesn't restore me, if he doesn't heal me, it's over between us. My decision is final and I'm not letting anyone change my mind. I had to learn the hard way that God is very selective on who he shines his face on.

Thx

Please pray something happens. I need my healing. I need to have faith. Pray that I do!!!!!

I went to school with her before I was dismissed. Please pray.

Yes thanks for asking and u

Thx

Amen and thx

Thx Daisy. God is good!

THx

Okay so my mom took the driver's writing test and passed. ACS closed the case against my mom. And the lady from the board of ED said that I'm going to a permanent high school, which means a high school diploma, which means I'm going to college!!!!!

It could be. Lately I have been moving forward.

True but why would my mind or God remind me of my past

I think of my past. Where this principal abused her authority and would be mean. Also my rightsas a person were violated as a child when i was being bullied.

Nope. My worst enemy mu only enemy is myself.

I really dont have anyone in my life like that.

Thx

/t19353-i-want-my-soul-to-be-bound-to-jesus

Thc girl for helping me realize that. Can you help me with something else. I posted something titled I want my soul bound to Jesus.

Thanks. Ever since I read that book i have been uncertain of Gods will for my lifr. I thought I was supposed to be a screenwriter. I have heard about how this new generation of teenagers will be servants of God. Some prophets have mentioned it. You know how it says in the bible that young men will have visions. I have felt in the past that God would bring that about through me. I'm only unsure of the screenwriting part. Help...

His soul to be more exact. But whenever I ask God for this, i feel as if he keeps saying that I don't know what I am asking for. Help! What am I really asking for?

Thx but I have another question. How must I dismantle my own glory so God can show me his glory? Ive been reading a book and it say that I have to pursue God like crazy die to my flesh and dismantle me glory like the lady with the alabaster box.

Thx. Finally some clarity! I've been so hidden in the dark about this.