BEASTS OF NIGERIA

[Itzprince 0]

It’s a large open field, the size of a football
stadium. The arena is filled with all kinds of
animals. There are Lions, tigers, cats, dogs,
monkeys, donkeys, cows, chicken, sheep,
goats, birds, elephants, antelopes, tortoises,
rats, cockroaches, etc. All categories are
animals are represented. A giant television set
is showing a movie and all of the animals are
watching with rapt attention*
*The movie ends and a big elephant stands to
his feet to moderate the meeting*
“Order! Order! Can we have some decorum here
please? Order! You have all watched a clip of
the secret movie; Animal Farm, the movie that
Nigerians do not want us to watch! I know
everybody has been inspired by this film. It is
now time to act! It is time for revolution! It is
time for freedom!” He shouts shaking his entire
body.
“Yesssssssss! Time for revolution! Time for
freedom!” The excited animals scream in
various sounds.
“Like the animals in Mr Jones farm, we are
going to chase away human beings from
Nigeria for good! We are going to kill them all
and take power by force!”
“Yessssssssss! We want revolutionnnnn!!!”
The whole crowd burst into spontaneous
singing, jumping up and down, and dancing
with a high level of excitement.
“Beast of England
Beast of Ireland
Beast of every land and clime
Hearken to my joyful tidings
Of the golden future time
Soon or late the day is coming
Tyrant man shall be o’erthrown
And the fruitful fields of England
Shall be trod by beasts alone!”
The elephant stamps his foot on the ground
and everybody stops singing.
“I have been informed that the birds have
composed a new national anthem for our new
nation! Let us sit down and listen to them.”
…chirp..chirp…chirp….
The birds are chirping as they move into the
centre of the crowd to perform. Their feathers
are very colourful. Golden necklaces hang
around their necks. Their leader is wearing a
white robe with bangles around its legs. It
stands in front of the bird choir and starts
conducting the song by fluttering its wings…
…one…two…go!
“Beasts of Nigeria
Beasts of West Africa
Animals of the glorious Greenland
We must come together and unite
As we fight and overcome the tyrants
Human beings shall be gone forever
We shall wine and dine daily
Gaiety and happiness shall be ours continually
As we enjoy this precious land
That God gave us to dwell in forever!”
*Applause*
“We like it!” The lions are roaring with
excitement.
“We like it!” The chickens and giraffes scream.
“We like it!” The monkeys screech happily.
We like it!!!! The crowd thunders.
“My compatriots, that is now our national
anthem and we must all learn and sing it by
heart. The name of our country shall be called
Waziwaziland. Any objection?” Elephant asks.
“No objection!”
“Human beings are wicked creatures and must
be defeated. They oppress and kill us everyday”
“Yes, they kill us, roast and eat our bodies as
Suya!” The cows moo angrily.
“They kill us and fry, and eat our bodies as fried
chicken!” The hens yell.
“They cut off our heads and eat it as isi ewu
peppersoup!” The goats bleat furiously.
“We have suffered in the hands of Nigerians!”
The snakes hiss in anger.
“They kill and eat us as meat! The dogs bark
angrily.
They kill us and eat us as fresh fish
peppersoup! The fishes seethe with rage.
The animals are all on their feet as they chant
hysterically.
“Human beings must be destroyed!
Destroy the bad creatures now!
Heigh hooo!”
“Yes, we will destroy them. We will arm
ourselves. Before you leave this meeting,
weapons would be given to all of you! On the
1 of November, we shall surprise them with a
bloody revolution!”
“Yesssss! We want a bloody revolution!” the
animals chant.
“We have to strike soon. Nigerians are currently
disunited. They are split into factions based on
politics, religion and tribalism. So they would
not be able to come together to fight us! Our
motto is ‘All animals are equal!’”
“We like it! We like it!”
“After we overthrow the Nigerians, we would
hold elections for various positions in
Waziwaziland. We are going to practice true
democracy that would be the envy of the
world!”
Yes! We like it!
We like it!
“There are three political parties and everybody
must belong to one of them. The parties are:
-Animal Redemption party
-Four legs and Tail Freedom party
-Feather and beak congress party
“We like it! We like it!” The animals chorus as
they rush to pen down their names in the
registers of the different parties.
“Stop it!” The lions are yelling at some flies
who are already sipping palm wine from the
calabashes that would serve as refreshment.
The flies hang their head in shame as they
quickly fly away from the pots.
“We would not tolerate any form of indiscipline
in Waziwaziland! We cannot behave the way
Nigerians behave!” Elephant thunders at the
flies.
The animals burst into a song;
“Wait for your turn
Wait for your turn
Take life easy and simple
We Waziwaziland citizens
Are good people
Heigh hoo!”
“Alright. Now we have to choose a capital city
for our country. It is going to be a city that
would be the pride of our nation, a national
asset that we would all identify with and be
proud of!”
*The animal assembly breaks into several
clusters as the different animals confer among
themselves*
*Time for capital city suggestion*
“We the birds hereby suggest Benin city as the
capital of our new country!”
“We the goats wish to project Damaturu to be
the capital of our new nation!”
“We the Fishes announce Yenegoa as our
capital city”
“We the dogs suggest Calabar as the capital
city of our country.”
“No! Calabar was once a capital city of Nigeria,
we don’t want anything to do with the land
Nigeria!”, the cows moo, and continue, we the
prestigious cows of waziwaziland hereby
announce Kano as our capital city!
“You people are wasting our time. We the
chickens say that our new capital city must be
Oshogbo!”
“We the monkeys suggest Onitsha as our
capital city!”
“We the honourable Snakes declare that we
won’t accept any other capital other than
Markudi!”
“And you all are foolish by not choosing
Abeokuta which we the lions want as our
capital city! The lions roar.
“How dare you call us foolish animals? Is it
because we are not from your ethnic group?
The capital of Waziwaziland must be Lagos!”
The cats declare.
“Impossible! You Yoruba creatures want
everything for yourselves”
“You Igbo creatures think you can dominate
and own everything, just like your human being
counterparts!”
“Every member of Animal Redemption party has
agreed that the capital city should be in Warri!”
“All Feathers and beak congress party
members hereby announce that the capital city
of Waziwaziland is now in Abuja!
“Nonsense! We four legs and Tail freedom party
members have decided to adopt Enugu as our
capital city!”
“You all are foolish, because you are Christian
birds, you want the capital to be in a Christian
city. You think we don’t know your plans?”
“All muslim animals should unite now and let’s
fight the Christian animals who want to take
control of our new country!”
“Shut up there!”
“You keep quiet!”
….fight…fight…..fight….
The arena breaks into a riot as the furious
animals are pecking, hitting, biting, kicking and
chewing each other’s body parts. Sweat and
blood flows…screams and yells of pain can be
heard everywhere as the strong preys on the
weak. The animals scatter in various directions
and the idea of a revolution for the formation
of a united animal kingdom is totally forgotten
and relegated to the dustbin of history.
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THE END