Legionnaire

Should be about 50 of us jocks comming down for this ...we are booked in for the 11.00-12.00 slot.......... see you all there

Thanks and well done to all who have made this forum a good place to be.............. Wishing you all a Happy New Year and look foreward to having a blether and maybe meeting up some time. Mo and Annette

Totally agree Grumpy...... and i would add a ban from driving for life ????? There are no excuses................ Mo

Sorry to hear that mate.....Yeh my boss must be related to yours....he's an ar$e as well............ Mo

Anyone going to Wooton Basset (3rd April) See you there.... Mo

If any of you guys are comming to the Scottish Bike Show (12-13th March) Pop into the Goldwing stand or the Royal British Legion Scotland Riders stand and say hello............. Mo

If any of you guys are going to the RTTW next year it would be nice to say hello.................. Mo

I would like to wish you all a very merry christmas and a happy new year...................... Keep it upright Mo

https://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8

There you go..... told you they are no slouches, just listen to those foot pegs scraping.

Have you seen those youtube films from either america or canada two wings going down a mountain road flat out ( very scary ) Although it's a big heavy bike you will be surprised just how much you can throw it about around the bandies once you get confident with the weight and there is plenty of torque to get you out of trouble.... But of course it's forte is long rides in comfort..... and once you youngsters have stopped playing with your toys (lol) you will appreciate the comfort....... Mo

Marriage Humour Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing. Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.' Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.' ------------------------------- Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife: 'Yes or no.' Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.' Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.' Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.' ------------------------------ Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.' Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.' Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.' ________________________________ A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?' 'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!' ------------------------------------------------------------ A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied I like your sense of humour?' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Husbands are husbands A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.. The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on' the wife apologized and went on with the housework.. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied.. 'Your horse phoned'

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead... Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?' Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church.... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no telling' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.' Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?' Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

This lorry driver sat eating his egg and chips in a transport cafe, when ten Hells Angels walked in. They walked up to the lorry driver, started eating his dinner and drinking his tea. The lorry driver just stood up and walked out. The Hells Angel leader walked up to the counter and sticking his chest out said "He wasn't much of a man was he?" "No" said the cafe manager, "he wasn't much of a lorry driver either, he's just reversed over ten motorbikes!"

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the **** out of all of you!' St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?' 'Couple of minutes ago.'

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Two bikers on a ride out when the Rider 1 noticed a funeral procession passing so he pulled over, removed his helmet and placed it over his heart and waited until the procession was out of sight before getting back on his bike again. "Thats very touching" said his fellow rider."You`re a sentimental devil". "It was the least i could do," said Rider 1. "Next saturday would have been our thirtieth wedding anniversary".

A man was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute..' The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.' She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?' The man replied, 'The drugs are wearing off.'

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.' The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.' The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?' The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

Show off .......

A Mexican, an Arab, and a hot gorgeous brunette Torquay girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.' The Arab, obviously impressed by this, Drinks his beer, Throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, And shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, We have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink With the same one twice either.' The brunette girl from Torquay, Cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, Downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 12 bore, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, And calling for a refill, she says, 'In England we have so many illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

An old guy was in the super market the other day, pushing his trolly around, when he collided with a young guy also pushing his trolly. He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate. The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?" The old guy said, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours." Most old guys are helpful like that

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no !" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Four blokes spend weeks planning the perfect camping and fishing trip to a remote and disconnected spot. Two days before they are due to leave, Dave's wife puts her foot down and tells him he's not going. His mates are naturally pissed off that he can't go, but what can they do, they decide to push on. Two days later the three fellas arrive at the remote camp site to find Dave sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, beer open and fish cooking on the fire. Steve: 'Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?' Dave: 'I've been here since last night. Yesterday afternoon I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who?' I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. On the bed were handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, so I did.' ......... 'And then she said:' 'Do whatever you want.' "So here I am"..

Have you ever wondered what the difference between Grandmothers and Grandfathers is? Well here it is: A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time -- just him and his granddaughter. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her Grandfather. 'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?' 'Oh yes, Granddad!', the little girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single ar$ehole, blind fudge cake, dip $h1t or "Milk shake" anywhere we went today!'