I am really struggeling with life right now. I believe my husband has aspergers syndrome, which the Lord revield to me a few years ago. There are a number of things that show that. I will not get into that. He is a wonderful husband and father who loves the Lord and his family. He's very intelligent almost at the genius level and is one of the most talented musicians I've seen. Plays all by ear. My problem is he can be very socially awkward at times, and if you don't take the time to get him you will just think he's "wierd" or trying to manipulate you . This has caused alot of hurt and pain really within the church. Not really to get into a lot of it, but we helped plant a church and he was leading music (his passion) he can be confusing and very blunt with people and that didn't go over very well. To make a long story short, he stepped down and they brought in another worship leader that didn't work out , my husband did become friends with him to this day. He was asked to step down , then another came in , that didn't work out, then before the next one came in my husband wnet to the pastor who had been his friend and said he wanted to lead and it wouldn't cost the church anything.You have to understand I was in the worship team too and at practices they would always look at my husband and ask him how to do things and say what do you think, this went on at every practice. Well they met for the last time and it was a disaster. Alot of very hurtful things were said I'm sure on both sides and being aspergers my husband really had a melt down . When he is tired and has too much coming at him it turns into the flight or fight. With him the rage comes up . He told the pastor he felt betrayed and robbed. You see the last worship leader we had prophecised over my husband and said he could go anywhere and lead worship. But that day the pastor said he didn't feel the Lord when my husband lead. I know it scared the pastor and he started trying to cast out the devil from my husband which made it worse. My husband has always listened to the Lord. He has to be able to process things in his time. Its like having a outlet thats sparking because it's not connecting with the plug and someone keeps trying to ram the plug in anyway. My issues have beome fear. He was hurt so badly, he has only had a couple meltdowns since we have been married for 28 years and that had to do with him feeling betrayed and left behind or pushed aside. I want to connect with Gods people but I don't want to go through anything like this again. I know all he wants is to be accepted me too. We had started going to a church the Sunday following this incedent. He really liked this church but it's large and I don't believe the Lord wants us to plug in there. We stoped going to church for about 5 months. I just am so scared I get sick sometimes. We started back about 3 weeks ago going to a different church. We really like it. I believe he still has unforgivness and bitterness over this. He doesn't want to give but would like to connect. He has a group of older men he meets with for bible study each week wnd like I said He loves the Lord and listens. The day afer the blow up he came in to me and said" I fell like I need to apologise ," The lord had spoke. He sent an email that I looked at and I don't think the pastor ever responded. And just a side note, I had gone to the pastor a couple months before with information on aspergers I pour out my heart to him and his wife on this , when I left I felt relieved thinking my husband would be understood. I guess not, the pastor approached him in the wrong ways. This is not something we go around talking about or telling everyone. We have talked to each other and my husband know he's different. I'm sorry this is so long . I just felt I could pour out my heart here and recieve prayer and maybe a word. I'm so sad. Thank you.