From my hart and experience .l under stand where you are coming from. This is not because you have displeased the Lord. In this world we shall suffer tribulations. Joh 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. There is no way around it . Look at the Asp. Peter or Paul or Abraham . Their life was often beset with troubles. Things do happen and troubles do try ones faith direction and purpose. You cannot go wrong when you put your trust in the Lord. If you are (and I doubt that ..doing some thing wrong ) The Lord will not keep it a secret all the while beating you up. Trust the Lord who gave his very life for you ..yes you ..So that you could know him. Meditate on the word. Stay focused on what he has promised you ..not how you feel. 1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. How you feel doses not change the word of god to you. Ever time all these dark foreboding feelings return. Rebuke them in Jesus name. If you have the word of promise and believe it ..You will see the glory of the Lord and direction. Psa 34:17 The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. jl
I am praying for you. I feel in my spirit the Lord hears the prayers on your behave .He hears your prayers! The Lords timing and ways are perfect. His purpose in any trial is to draw us closer to him. I pray you will be greatly encouraged in the Lord as you go through this difficult time. 1Pe 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. Jl