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Jay.P

Fear Results In Problems

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So here's the thing,

Whenever I want to say something to my friends, or recite something in class, I feel scared and the words get caught in my throat. For example, when I have something to study and recite at class, I spend a lot of time studying, when I come to class, my mouth gets locked up, and I start repeating every word and everything gets scrambled up, then I end up with a bad note. Sad

Another example is, when I have something to say to one of my friends, I just don't know what to say. I'm really good at inventing what to say in my mind, but when I want to say it I just can't.

Any help on how to overcome my fear will be really appreciated, thank you!

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I only have one advice - just let go of yourself and relax. That is the only thing that is necessary! Smile

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Dun be afraid, they are ur friends =)
just have confidence in what u speak, and throw everything out..
actually try to speak more, practice more, maybe it will be better..

it tends to happen to me more when im doing a presentation or having an interview, or any formal type of occassions...My words will never be out or I wun even know what I was actually saying..

I do have situations when I wana communicate with a bunch of friends, talk wid them in order to get closer , but there is always nth coming out haha...but i guess just try to overcome it...and u will be fine ^^ dun be afraid as they wun "eat" u up if u said sth hehe!

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I know exactly what you are on about hun.

I get like this as well.....I think its a case with me that people are looking at me Sad

The only piece of advice I can offer is talk to your friends and explain how you feel. ask them to give you a chance to get your words sorted in your head before you say anything.

Hopefully once you have built up your confidence talking with your friends then you will find it easier in other situations xx

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Hi J-P.

Sometimes the kind of confidence you want comes with age and experience, but yes, experience only comes from practice.

Firstly, learn to accept that none of us say the right thing all the time - absolutely everyone gets it wrong occasionally, even world leaders, ok?
Try to keep what you want to say fairly short and straight to the point in the first instance, as getting over those first sentences and letting people respond, should give you the encouragement you need.

Relax, you can practice this too by learning some simple breathing exercises to steady yourself. Lots of actors and public speakers do this and it's a technique that works well - remember, a lot of people who speak well in public, are actually really anxious before they get going, it's natural.

Remember when you speak, to make what you say interesting to whoever's listening, that means standing well, making eye contact, and modulating your voice so that YOU sound interested too, and not bored or scared. Don't forget to smile, smiling helps relax you too.

You seem very good at expressing yourself here, so I'm quite sure you'll be able to take these simple steps, work on them, and gradually find your fears fade away quite a lot.

Try typing
'public speaking breathing exercises' in to a search engine, and then take a look, there are pages of advice out there.

Good luck

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