Mangoberri 0 Posted November 19, 2009 SOLVED. Okay. Rant over. :blush2: : Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pouncer 0 Posted November 19, 2009 Some people just aren't competitive; she doesn't feel the need to win as much as you and your team mates do. If you have any say in who is in your team, don't pick her next time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mangoberri 0 Posted November 19, 2009 We don't get to pick our teams..our teacher does it for us. Okay..it's not that it's competitive. She doesn't try in anythign she does! we're trying to tell her to try..try editing your work in english..try harder in school cause she is failing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kasijab 0 Posted November 19, 2009 This is really difficult ...if she is not interested in sport then no amount of nagging is going to make her try harder ..I know from experience. In school ..many years ago I know ...I was that girl. I just had no ability in sport whatsoever and no matter how hard you try if you can't do it you can't do it!! I wouldn't say I got irritated by peoples attitudes but it was very upsetting and hurtful. As for other lessons, maybe you are genuinely trying to help her, but she could see it as bullying ..maybe you could just try praising the things she IS good at and encouraging her in the things she is not so good at. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Agony Aunt 0 Posted November 19, 2009 This is a really hard one. A kasijab has already said, some people just dont like sport and no matter what you say or do nothing will change that. I know you are tying to help your friend do better for herself, but sometime constant negative criticism can be a form of bullying, even though I know this is not intentional. Your friend may feel like nothing she does is good enough, and may even be thinking, why bother? Imagine how you would feel if you were in her shoes and everone was on your case and telling you that you should do this, and do that! Maybe you should try postitive praise, find something she is good at and praise her for it...even if its just the way she dresses, singing, anything really. When she is doing sports, and she does the slightest thing well, tell her, or even if it goes wrong, tell her good try. Same with her course work, find some part of it that is good, even if its just handwriting, art, anything really and praise her up on it. The more praise she gets the harder she will want to work. Friends find ways to help each other, without criticizing each other. Take care Agony Aunt xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mangoberri 0 Posted November 20, 2009 It's just that she's a very negative person. Everything she plans to do, she thinks to the negative side. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lea75 0 Posted November 20, 2009 Hey hun I'm speaking from personal experience here.. Sometimes forms of depression and anxiety can cause people to always have negative thougts and feelings. And no matter what you, or anyone else says to them, they can not just snap out of it. Please dont say they have nothing to be depressed about as that is not the way it works. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes it, not necessarily what is happening around them I'm not saying this is what is wrong with your friend, as not only do I not know her, I am not a doctor. I just want you to stop and think differently. and try and figure out if there is a reason she is like this. She could have a very low self esteem and may think nothing she does is good enough, so why should she bother, and if this is the case then critisism will deffinately make her worse Please dont judge her, or try and change her, but take time to build up her confidence and be very careful to not put her down, even unintentional it is Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mangoberri 0 Posted November 20, 2009 Actually, she wants to get A's it's just that she doesn't want our opinion on how to get one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lea75 0 Posted November 20, 2009 In a way I'm not suprised she is being so defensive if you are all telling her that everything she does is wrong Hun try and imagine it from her point of view Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mangoberri 0 Posted November 20, 2009 She doesn't even take the teacher's opinion, so it's obvious it's not only us, it's the whole wide world. The teacher tells her you should fix your ____ in your paragraph, and she will go, yea sure. and not change it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lea75 0 Posted November 20, 2009 but again hun that might come down to always being put down, you build a barrier around yourself and get very defensive, even when people are trying to help you Anyway this is only my opinion, and the whole point of these threads are to get peoples opinions Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mangoberri 0 Posted November 20, 2009 Well. thanks lea Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
