How to be more mature?

[Sanakan 0]

Hi guys, be prepared to take in my ranting!!XD

Ever since I hit the big 21, my mum and sister has been complaining that being at that age..I'm still not mature enough.
They also compare me to all those girls who look...well, 21...in fact, I still look like a girl of 16 or less..

I've also been feeling very down recently because of their constant comments about my looks, my maturity, my age..even my intelligence!! (Of course, they were very subtle about it..)

I know I'm not the most intelligent one in the family...you could even say I'm the most naive one too. But, being my family...how could they not care about my feelings at all and still say those things with a smile on their face?? Man! I'm so mad at them right now!! Am I really that useless to this family??


*Cools down* Okay, maybe they were joking...but still, have they not know me for their entire life how sensitive I am? Especially about those comments, cause I know it's true and I've been constantly trying to improve myself little by little...but, apparently...it's not quick enough for them...

Okay! Back to my topic..XD What do I do to make myself more mature to them? Do I have to put on makeup everyday like those 'mature girls' out there? Do I have to like shopping for clothes??

In short, what makes a girl like me mature??

P.S. Sorry if I seem cynical or something...I am seeming to find a lot of hate in me that needs to come out...XD

[Tiddly Winks 0]

I'm 39 years old and look younger. When you get older, you'll be grateful to have a youthful look. It may be a pain now, but in 20 years, you'll be grinning like a cheshire cat at your mother and sister.

If they are really bothering you with their comments, I'd let them know. Sometimes, even in the best of families, people can be tactless. Hang in there.

[Zoonie 0]

Hi Sanakan,

I have two daughters. They're 25 and 21 now, and I have to confess that sometimes our family have been guilty of perhaps hurting their feelings when we actually thought we were teasing. It happens. The important thing is that you need to work out whether they mean just to tease you with affection, or just mean what they say.

I don't think you should change what you look like, you should look how you want to look.

All I can think of to recommend is that when something's said, you take some deep breaths and don't over react or sulk, as that will make you seem less mature.

If you feel you can't cope with it, then I'd speak to them, calmly and say something along the lines of 'I know you think you're joking, but actually, you're hurting my feelings, and if you keep it up now I've told you, then you're going to give me a complex'

Maturity isn't definable by how you look, it's not a rigid thing that can be taught or assumed. We all mature over different issues, at different times in our lives - we never stop learning and growing emotionally.
Accepting who you are, and learning how to deal with things that distress you is just one step.

Good Luck x

[Fashionista 0]

wow! zoonie that was amazing advice!

don't get sad sanakan i also look too much younger than i am, i'm 20 and look like 14 because i'm petite and i don't wear makeup or extreme clothes or try to look older, i like it looking younger and when someone is questioning me about no experience i proove them wrong by my progects and profesional i can be in college, but i also like to see cartoons and play with my pet, what i wanna say is that as it was said before you can be mature in some areas but still not loose your child spirit like i do! when i wanna go out or have a presentation i can wear a blazer and heels but when i'm with my friends i can wear my all stars and hoodie! you can combine both be mature where is needed but be true and unique also!

i hope that i have help you someway and that you understood my point :********

[Sanakan 0]

Aww...thank you guys so much for replying to my angry rant!! I hope that whatever phase I'm going through right now is only temporary...

Tiddly Winks wrote:

I'm 39 years old and look younger. When you get older, you'll be grateful to have a youthful look. It may be a pain now, but in 20 years, you'll be grinning like a cheshire cat at your mother and sister.

If they are really bothering you with their comments, I'd let them know. Sometimes, even in the best of families, people can be tactless. Hang in there.

@Tiddly Winks - Hehe~ Thanks so much for those encouraging words Tiddly Winks! It's weird but, I feel so much better after typing all that rant out and submitting it..XD
I've contemplated before about telling them straight out about how I feel sometimes...however, I'm not very good at those situations where you can come up with the right words that will make them understand how I really feel. The words I came up with are always misunderstood...

Zoonie wrote:

Hi Sanakan,

I have two daughters. They're 25 and 21 now, and I have to confess that sometimes our family have been guilty of perhaps hurting their feelings when we actually thought we were teasing. It happens. The important thing is that you need to work out whether they mean just to tease you with affection, or just mean what they say.

I don't think you should change what you look like, you should look how you want to look.

All I can think of to recommend is that when something's said, you take some deep breaths and don't over react or sulk, as that will make you seem less mature.

If you feel you can't cope with it, then I'd speak to them, calmly and say something along the lines of 'I know you think you're joking, but actually, you're hurting my feelings, and if you keep it up now I've told you, then you're going to give me a complex'

Maturity isn't definable by how you look, it's not a rigid thing that can be taught or assumed. We all mature over different issues, at different times in our lives - we never stop learning and growing emotionally.
Accepting who you are, and learning how to deal with things that distress you is just one step.

Good Luck x

@ Zoonie - I agree with Fashionista! I think those were some amazing advice! Especially coming from someone who kids around my age~~
Oops , I guess I really am not mature enough cause I shouted at them and went on to sulk..
But, after that...I always try to see it from my mother's point of view. And really, I think it's quite a feat for my mum to raise 5 kids all growing up AND with different personalities no less..XD Don't know about my sis though...I guess she's just a big bully...
Well then, after reading all that...I guess I still have a looong way to go before I know how to be mature...

Fashionista wrote:

wow! zoonie that was amazing advice!

don't get sad sanakan i also look too much younger than i am, i'm 20 and look like 14 because i'm petite and i don't wear makeup or extreme clothes or try to look older, i like it looking younger and when someone is questioning me about no experience i proove them wrong by my progects and profesional i can be in college, but i also like to see cartoons and play with my pet, what i wanna say is that as it was said before you can be mature in some areas but still not loose your child spirit like i do! when i wanna go out or have a presentation i can wear a blazer and heels but when i'm with my friends i can wear my all stars and hoodie! you can combine both be mature where is needed but be true and unique also!

i hope that i have help you someway and that you understood my point :********

@ Fashionista - Wow really?! I find that people like you are very few where I live. Most of my friends are really mature and that's usually where my mom tries to compare, of course, my friends hardly care~~ But sometimes, when they do the things that I don't really care for, like clubbing, driving out late and all that..which leaves me alone and sad sometimes..

Anyway~~ You guys deserve a rep up for being so nice! ;D

[Fashionista 0]

aw!!!!!!!

that's sad that your friends don't care, ther is always the right time to make new!!!!!! i don't like clubbing a lot either i prefer a movie! i hope everything turns out all right! and keep in mind that you can always proove them wrong and still do the things you love!!!!!!

[Sanakan 0]

Yup! I hope this year when I go to Uni I'll make lots of new friends!! And do all the things that I love~~

[Fashionista 0]

uni and college are amazing opportunities!!!! wherever i go for a new semester i always make new friends , like friends, the best of luck!!!!!!!!!!

[Sanakan 0]

Really?! Yes! Opportunities~~

Thank you for the advice!

[Zoonie 0]

glad you liked what I feel. One thing I always do and always have done is try to imagine myself in the other person's shoes, even with my own kids.

Some of your problems might be down to maturity (for that just read 'experience') some you might feel are problems are just that you have an individual personality (I know quite a few older people who shout or sulk lol)

I just know that people get fed up of teasing if they see they're not getting much of a reaction for you, and as much as you should think about your own behaviour (if you're going to shout or sulk for instance) then by staying as calm as you can, and pointing out how other people make you feel, then they should give some thought to how they're treating you too!

You see what I mean?

I've just never been very volatile, I like to deal with things quietly really, and by reasoning - sometimes I realise I'm wrong, by listening to my own children; and often I like to deal with things by humour.


Anyway, if you ever need a Mum's point of view, you can track me down on here

[Fashionista 0]

wow! zoonie for the advice!!!!! I think you're very correct at this point! that we should listen to others and not overact but being calm and reasonable!

for being so sweet! I even learned some things from you! !

[Sanakan 0]

Zoonie wrote:

glad you liked what I feel. One thing I always do and always have done is try to imagine myself in the other person's shoes, even with my own kids.

Some of your problems might be down to maturity (for that just read 'experience') some you might feel are problems are just that you have an individual personality (I know quite a few older people who shout or sulk lol)

I just know that people get fed up of teasing if they see they're not getting much of a reaction for you, and as much as you should think about your own behaviour (if you're going to shout or sulk for instance) then by staying as calm as you can, and pointing out how other people make you feel, then they should give some thought to how they're treating you too!

You see what I mean?

I've just never been very volatile, I like to deal with things quietly really, and by reasoning - sometimes I realise I'm wrong, by listening to my own children; and often I like to deal with things by humour.


Anyway, if you ever need a Mum's point of view, you can track me down on here

Yay! *huggles*

You sound like one of those great mums Zoonie! Just like what Fashionista said, I think I've learn quite a few pointers from you and I will seek you out if I want a mum's point of view!

!

[Fashionista 0]

[Zoonie 0]

well thank you again.

At least if you hear an opinion from someone of a different age you can think about it and see if it makes sense to you, or not: it's up to you - being older doesn't necessarily make anyone right but it's sometimes easier to consider what they say, when it's someone who's not involved in the situation.

By the way Fashionista, one of my daughters is also called Chloé

[Fashionista 0]

aw!!!!!! Zoonie!!!!!!! I'm not called Chloe I just looooooveeeeee that name and the fashion brand My real life name is Eleni -Helen in english but I don't think anyone would understand Eleni! unless you have Euripides tragedy Eleni!

[Zoonie 0]

It's a lovely name

[Fashionista 0]

!!!!!!! I love it because it really has a history and it is my grandmothers name also!

[The Iron Chef 0]

Hey, many girls would pay to look like 16. Be happy that u have the key to youth. That's a priceless gift that people want to have but don't.

[Ames 0]

You know something... i'm 26 and often get asked for ID because i still look like a teenager. When i'm out with my parents and my son, they think i'm his sister. So yeah it does get a bit annoying but you know what... laughter keeps you young and healthy... i laugh a lot so for me, i don't care if people think i'm immature. I pay my bills and try to be a good mum so what i do as ME is no one else's business.

Stay young in your heart... when you are older you will need it trust me! LOL xx

[xPink.Pixel.Princessx 0]

im 20...soon to be 21 and im still imature sometimes...Well most of the time.

I never act my age and i dont think i ever will.
If people cant except me for who i am and what im like then they dont accept me at all. I dont care haha.

They either take me as i am or not at all i say.


I wear lots of makeup...Do lots of shopping and everything a girl should do =D....Well not should...but im just a totally girly girl as you already know.

To be quite honist...im not really sure what to say on how you can be alittle bit more mature because i cant comment when im not mature myself HAHA!

Just be yourself...If your not yourself then you wont be happy.