I Feel bad because i cant give her money back :(

[Gaiamaiden 0]

Whenever im short of money for food or whatever my parents always give us money to go and get some stuff, but i always feel bad because i can never give it back I only work 25 hours a week so Dan's wages pay for most of the bills so when everything has been paid, we dont have loads left.
My parents are always giving us money and sometimes i would rather not tell them im short of money because i know they will end up giving it.

I know what you parents in the forum will say that "we are parents, that what we are supposed to do" but i always feel bad, i just wish there was something i could do to show my parents how greatful we are

[smorkle 0]

ahh hun. i understand. how about writing them a nice card and expressing thanks to them for all their help?
sometimes even though we say things, it's extra special when we get it in writing.

[Gaiamaiden 0]

I do that alot, i buy my mum flowers and get a card, but it never seems enough

[smorkle 0]

ummm...how about making her some of your delicious cookies or muffins?

but a simple thank you goes a long way too. it's a hard situation to be in, but as parents, they do understand.

[Gaiamaiden 0]

hmmm baking them something would be a good idea
i dont think i can ever make it up to my parents for what they have given me

[smorkle 0]

i don't think they ever expect anything back hun. they do it cuz they love you so much!!

[Ursula1 0]

I'm sure they are happy to help. My father is always sad when I don't need him for anything, so when he makes me a present, or helps me in any way, it improves his mood.

I think that is because my parents have their lives totally solved and I'm still settling down in the real world after too many years of study and career

They will be happy if you go to visit them often and if they see you happy too. I'm sure of that

[Gaiamaiden 0]

i visit my parents 3 times a week, i cant stay away from my mum too long, she is my best friend, we talk on the phone every night lol it shocks me that we never run out of conversation lol

parents are wonderful! for sure! but it still makes me wish i could give something back, i suppose all children feel that way lol

[Ursula1 0]

Then... smile! Show them that you love them just being happy! There's nothing else they could prefer

[Gaiamaiden 0]

i suppose i will understand more when i become a parent (hopefully sooner rather than later )

[smorkle 0]

you must be the best daughter in the world!!!!!! i don't talk to my mom as much as i should. maybe 1-2 a week. but then again, it's hard for me because my mom speaks very little english and my korean is a bit on the stinky side. so most of our conversation is about "huh? what?, etc."

the fact that you already do all these things, your parents already know how much you and dan appreciate their help. they know you wouldn't ask them for it so they give it to you freely so you don't have to ask.

you are really lucky to have such a great relationship with them. and the fact that you feel bad, don't...even though i know it's hard not to. i'm pretty sure they know that you are honest and would never take advantage.

[smorkle 0]

smorkle has sent you a little gift to thank you for being such a great daughter!
xoxo

[Gaiamaiden 0]

oh smorkle thank you xxxxxxx

[smorkle 0]

you really are the sweetest and such a great example!! really, i hate seeing you sad or feeling bad about anything. you deserve all good things!!
and things will not always be like this. they WILL get better!!!

[Gaiamaiden 0]

[Tiddly Winks 0]

You are so very fortunate to have such a positive relation with your mother. My mother won't talk to me, she won't friend me on Facebook, and she treats me as she has always treated me, with conditions and her own expectations. When I don't live up to the way she wants me to, she ignores me. When I moved to Germany some 14 years ago and told her that I was happy here, she didn't speak to me for close to a year.

It's been like that since I got married some fifteen years ago. so, there is very little dialogue between us. I don't call or email, except on birthdays or Christmas, and she doesn't make any effort to contact us at all.

My in-laws, on the other hand, are the most unconditionally loving people I have ever known. When we moved back to Germany, we had to accept welfare money from the state for the first two or three months. They stepped in and helped us. Mama brought me clothes and Papa gave me money when I didn't have enough to get food on the table. They did everything for us and so when Papa retired, we did what we could to help them.

The universe is such a wonderful thing, it grants people so many opportunities to return love and kindness to those who have offered it so freely. Today I look back on all the things my in-laws did for us with the utmost gratitude and graciousness. That is perhaps all that your mother wants of you, to be gracious and loving, becuase deep down in side, she probably knows that one day, you will be there to help her out.

[Gaiamaiden 0]

aww Tiddly hun, i cant imagine how it must be not to talk to parents, but it is brilliant that your in-laws care about you so much xx

[myladyyawo 0]

Stephanie, as a mom I feel that I would give my children everything they needed the best I could even if they were grown and moved out. I think it is absolutely wonderful that you have that kind of relationship with your mother. I'm sure she truly knows how much you appreciate it. Don't feel bad that you cannot pay her back, I'm sure that is not why she helps you out, I'm also sure that she wouldn't want you to feel really guilty about having to ask for help. Just think maybe soon you might get the better job that you are looking for and be more financially secure. In my opinion though just telling her how much you appreciate her for all the she does means more than anything to her!

[Agne 0]

Oh! You know, one day you will get new better job and everything will be ok

[Jay.P 0]

I always feel embarrassed when I ask my parents for money.

[Zoonie 0]

Steph, when you gift someone in PS do you expect anything more than a thankyou? of course not, and it's the same for parents who help out their grown children. What you do willingly, you don't expect repaying.
So long as they know it's not taken for granted, believe me, they'll know you wish you didn't need a hand. Knowing you're hard up, trust me, they wont want you to be struggling to repay or buy things to say thank you - anything you can do, it really is the thought that counts

We're always helping out our elder daughter...she's had years of study and having to work for free to get on the career ladder she's chosen. We know she appreciates it, and one day, we're going to need a hand, whether practical, emotional, thoughtful, or whatever - your turn will come when you're in a position to be a real help to your parents, and it'll feel good to do it

[wicky123 0]

I have deleted some of your posts as you are spamming threads by simply posting smilies in order to get your posts up, spamming is against the rules. If you continue to do so you could recieve an official warning.

Gaia - Admin

[maltese 0]

Aww... you don't have to feel bad about it.
Your parents do that because they love you... they are worried if something happened to you...

maybe... try giving postcards or flowers, or sometimes visit your parent's house to make cupcakes or cookies, try make the situation "happy and lovable"