Am I Being Silly??

[Gaiamaiden 0]

I know im pregnant at the moment, so my hormones are all over the place. But im a little annoyed at the moment about something so i was wondering if you guys could give your opinions on something.

Me and Dan normally go out with 2 other couples, the two lads i have known for 14+ years. Me and Dan have sometimes felt left out because we hear that they have been out somewhere without us (even though they tell us they were doing something else). Anyway we have been having problems with money recently, my hubby was off on the sick and nearly lost his job. So we havent been able to go out anywhere and they said they understood that. Well, ever since then they havent bothered to come and see us, they havent text us, havent even tried to contact us (i have tried several times to text them) and all i see on FB are pictures of them all going out bowling, to have meals and things like that and I have to admit it upsets me even though i shouldnt let it. Ive even suggested that they come round to ours for a games night as that doesnt involve money and we can all still have fun but no reply.
Im not saying they shouldnt go out together, that would be selfish, i just think it would be nice to see them or hear from them from time to time we dont drive either so we cant just hop in a car and go see them, they all have cars.

i just feel like we are being forgotten about. Do you think Im being silly about the whole thing?

[smorkle 0]

hmmm....from what you said, it doesn't sound like you are being silly. i think i'd feel the same way with the situation if i were in your shoes. is something else going on? you may want to talk to one of them just you and them one on one and ask if everything is okay. them as in one of the two not both as a couple and just you..does that make sense?

that does suck that they are not responding to your texts and other messages.
i can understand they they are trying to be thoughtful of your money situation but there are lots of other things you guys can do that doesn't involve money....like you already said...

the only thing i can suggest is talking to them. for some reason, after reading what you wrote, it feels to me like there is something else going on... but i'm just basing it on your side....and of course i could be completely wrong.

[Gaiamaiden 0]

i think some of it has to do with the fact im pregnant, and they all love to go out and get drunk, whereas i dont drink and i couldnt even if i did because im pregnant. But if i was in their shoes i would try and think of things to do that didnt involve money.
i dont think there is anything going on hun, i just have the feeling that they find it easier for them to just do stuff without us because they dont have to think about the fact im pregnant or that me and dan dont drink etc

[smorkle 0]

that makes me sad for you and dan. i'm so sorry they are being that way. i'm sorry but i don't know what to tell you cuz after the baby comes...well....things will be so different for you both... i hope they come around to see what fun they are missing by not thinking.

sorry, i don't know what else to tell you. you are one of the sweetest persons i've ever met (online hee hee) and they are truly missing out and being fools.

[Gaiamaiden 0]

thanks hun. I keep thinking i should talk to them about how i feel, but i bet they will just think that im being silly about the whole thing. If they would only just text me or call me or something then perhaps it wouldnt be so bad xx

[Kokonee 0]

Some folks don't know what to do with a pregnant lady, much less what to do with a couple with a baby! I'd suggest that you invite them over to your house for a dinner or to watch some special show on TV, or rent a movie. Something that would be fun! A lot of people in the states are having "game nights" where they pull out the old board games from our childhood! It actually is a lot of fun!

[Gaiamaiden 0]

we used to have game nights all the time, it was actually me and dan who started them. But i think in a lot of ways they all prefere to go out

[Tiddly Winks 0]

We have craft circles here, where people get together and do arts and crafts. That's usually a ladies thing. But, we also get together with friends either at their places or here.

One of us makes a salad, the a dish, some bring drinks and others bring a dessert. It's sort of a potluck kind of thing, but it's fun, and it's not very costly. Afterwards, we play board games, or watch movies. There are things that folks can do that don't cost a ton of cash, it's just a matter of communicating.

Hope things work out with your friends.

[Gabs Giggles 0]

I agree with everything has been said, but let me tell you something.. If they dont want to spend time with you and your hubby its their loss.You are passing through a wonderful time of your life and if they are really your friends they should understand it and be happy for you guys, right?

[lea75 0]

I dont think you are being silly hun...they are doing something which upsets you and as friends they should be telling you the truth about what they are doing.

I take it these are the friends who you spent New Year with? (saw the pics on facebook lol)

I have to say I went through this when pregnant with Ieuan, I was the first of my friends to get pregnant. One of my friends started doing the same as your friends are,...it actually got worse after I gave birth so I spoke to her about it.

Turned out that she thought I didnt want to still do the things we had done before I had got pregnant and moved in with my other half...and also because I couldnt go out....she didnt like to come down my house as she thought she was intruding!

I have to say after we had our chat, things were a million times better...we started having movie nights...and she soon realised I had not changed and still wanted to talk about the same things as ever.

People without kids dont always want to talk about them...or hear about every tiny little detail, even thought being a Mum is (quite rightly) the most exciting thing to ever happen to you, and sometimes people who are not parents think that is all we can talk about, so they forget we are still the same person as before

OMG talk about babbling lmao....talk to them hun...tell them exactly how you are feeling, and ask them to be honest how they are feeling as well...even if it hurts at least then you can work from there xxxx

[Tiddly Winks 0]

I would hope that my friends who do have kids would never think ill of me for not having kids. There's a very personal reason as to why I chose not to have kids, that I don't want to go into here (it'd bore you silly). But, I think that it's wonderful that your friends realized that you didn't change after you had kids, Lisa, that's how it should be.

I think younger people in general don't adapt to changes very well. In all fairness, I didn't adapt so well either. It's not to say that it's right or wrong, it's just the way it is. To many people change in a person's life is something they don't want to deal with.

On a personal note, when I was 20, my father was diagnosed with cancer. His illness and eventual passing was massively difficult for me. I was hanging out with a group of girls I went to college with and soon after his diagnosis came down, they started avoiding me. I guess they didn't know how to deal with it. We never talked about it, and even though today they are friends with me on facebook, I don't say much to them and they don't say much to me. Sad but true.

Talk to your friends, it's probably the best thing you could do.

[Gaiamaiden 0]

thanks everyone, i do feel a little better talking about it. Dan is seeing it differently than me, he just says "let them get on with it," and "Dont let it upset you" but i know it annoys him too.

I have a hard time talking to the girls about stuff as i havent known them for anywhere near as long as the lads. Its just annoying because whenever i text the lads i get nothing, it never used to be like that.
I might see if i can go and see one of the guys next week, It might be easier for me to speak to one of the guys one to one.