I'm losing hope

[yeshuailuv28 0]

Just earlier, the dream warnings of the people in my cousin's church attacking us manifested. They said we were sinning. That the dreams and visions we received weren't from God. That God wont allow a relationship between first cousins. They said stuff that I have a Jezeebel spirit in me. That I gave nightmares to my Aunt when I was living with them. I never gave her dreams. She would brag about having the ability to separate her spirit from her body when she sleeps. So now she blames me for it when she got attacked. She couldn't go back and there were souls who wanted to take over her body. It hurt me so much because my cousin believed them. He said he would stand up to God's Will. It hurts that they're saying I'm possessed. I feel super betrayed. I feel lost. I've been crying to God. All that Pastor did was condemn me. I need some encouragement. Hopefully people praying for me. I just want to die but the Lord is telling me that it's not the right time. -PF

[Quenette 0]

Hi. I'm just trying to understand a little. Is it that you're close to your cousin and being accused of an inappropriate relationship?

Why is that this is causing you to want to die? Please advise. In Christ, there is life more abundantly.

[yeshuailuv28 0]

Me and my cousin are going out. My friend had seen visions of my future. My cousin had seen the same details through dreams. But one pastor said that before I went to visit my cousin, the holy spirit showed her how me and him had a great strong love for each other. The thing is before I even visited them, a friend of mine spoke in tongues and seen a vision. How he was with my best friend and I was with this tall man. He was blurry but my friend was able to hear his voice when we were getting married. So he confirmed that it was my cousin's voice. How he seen my kids when they were little playing with his and how they were grown up and graduating all together. So the Pastor said it's not me for my cousin. That it says on leviticus that God doesnt want close relatives to be partners. So I told her it's a main idea because God broke it down to the specific family members of who's not allowed. In this lists he even included gays and lesbians and how animals shouldn't be together. So I kept asking God what to do and what his will is. He never mentioned cousins.

He showed me 1 john 4 and judges 8. (My question was what isn't his will) So I did apologize to the Pastor because since she was so defensive and condemning me of how I have to keep a reputation and that there's reasoning and law. I told her i didnt think God was dumb enough to not write cousins. So we got heated up. I spoke threats to her how I hope she'll get moded and for her to swallow her words. (Similar to Judges 8, Gideon made evil threats to those who wouldnt want to give his soldiers bread. They were starving. Instead he was mocked.) So then she started saying I got a spirit in me. A jezebel how I gave nightmares to my aunt. So I thought wow, now I got a spirit? I heard the holy spirit say drop it. You guys won't have an agreement. So I said thank you... God Bless..

So now I asked what his will is for me and my cousin. He showed me 1 peter 3 and hebrews 12. So I been meditating on these verses. I learned to be humble and to love people. I was so lost and he lifted me up.

I told him if the church near my house was spirit led, id start going every week as a promise. So I went and the song they played was about God reigning and that not to lose hope from what people say. When they tell you, nothing can be done, God can because he reigns. Then it started talking about Joseph the boy who interpreted dreams. The Pastor led on saying how an Occupy movement rely on other people. When God gives a direct order and purpose to somebody, he wants it done his way. God is our partner. So he went on and said how Joseph had received his purpose. The propblem he had was he was egoistic. He didn't care about his brother's feelings. He thought he was too special. So God trained him and he had to go through hardship. His dream was able to manifest and he was ready. He learned to love people and be humble. Then the Pastor went on how some dreams aren't from God. The example he gave was numbers or when your drunk.

Right now I'm more calm and received his words. I admit I was wrong for making threats and didn't show love to the Pastor and my family. They don't understand the great plan God had made just like what happened to Joseph. So they're hurting and struggling to accept it. I believe that the Lord wants me and cousin to be together. One problem is I'm so unsure of who the false prophet is. I want a specific proof of who it is. I expect more answers from the church I'll be going to. When I asked God who it is, 2 chronicles 1 and jude 1 was given to me. If anyone wants to fellowship with me about these bible verses, I'd be glad to. Thank you so much! I don't want to ever say I want to die. The Lord is always faithful.

[Quenette 0]

This is such a sensitive issue that I'm careful how to address it. I'll simply ask, are you sure this is God's will for your life? God sees what we don't see, so please make sure you're seeking "HIM" and only Him diligently for the guidance and direction in your life.