Habakkuk

It's been a while since I posted anything here, but there is a reason for it. I have become wary of relying on dreams. This is not to say that I believe that they have never anything to say at all, but more often than not they strike me as something that is supposed to help me to understand other people (and myself) better. The more dramatic a dream is, the less meaningful it seems to be to me these days.

Anyway, this particular dream is exactly one of these 'not dramatic at all' personal dreams. But first of all the context: Basically, I do photos as a hobby. Mostly bands, nature, and occasional model shootings. Nothing overly dramatic, but I certainly have aspirations in this field and have definitely improved quite a bit over the years! So, a while ago I was approached by a woman in a club. We've known each other superficially for years, but not really well even though we did play the occasional round of table soccer every now and then. Anyway, one day she approached me in a club and told me that she was interested in me taking pictures of her and her best friend to which I agreed. There were, however, lots of delays over the time as her best friend is a single mom and doing lots of overtime at work.

This made it hard to agree on a particular day which is also why she suggested to do a shooting just with only her instead. Also, these delays made room for us to talk every now and then and to get to know each other a bit more. Personally, I consider this very important as trust is an important issue in respect to photography. The more comfortable everybody involved is, the better the result. Simple as that.

As for the dream: A week, or two ago I dreamed of her. She had a new tattoo in this dream. It was a shiny red rose on the left side of her throat. However, the stem was pretty long with lots of entanglements and thorns. And yet, the tattoo was absolutely beautiful!

As far as I know all her actual tattoos are like 15+ years old and I just can't see her getting a new tattoo totally out of the blue. And all this makes me wonder. I mean, as I said above, trust is of importance. The better I understand her the easier it is for me to feel comfortable and to make her feel comfortable as well. Also, I kind of hope for "word of mouth advertising" and future shootings with her and her band as well. :)

Anyway, three lines of text about the dream, the rest about the context. Go and figure.

Do you sometimes dream about things and then realise that they are illustrating convictions you already hold anyway? Dreams that give you a deeper understanding, dreams that illustrate how to put this particular conviction into action?

For me these dreams (2 of them) have been about personal boundaries, respect and (maybe?) forgiveness in human interaction. It is not that I do not believe in these concepts, because I sure do, but these dreams really hammered the point down that a) guessing is not a good idea when a simple question would suffice to avoid a misunderstanding and b) to accept that people sometimes have insecurities in human interaction and that you have to accept this even when it hurts.

As I said, I already hold this conviction for quite a while, so these dreams felt more like an “advanced course”, a very personal one at that. This is also why I am not willing to disclose these dreams in detail, because as I said, they were highly personal. I know that this means that I cannot really expect an interpretation of these dreams, but I do wonder whether my thoughts make sense from a Christian perspective. Dreams that foster personal convictions and elaborate on them?

Seriously, does this make sense?

Crazy thing is that I had one of these dreams again. This time it was for a term paper. I realised that I had to had in a term paper in a couple of days and had not even started with it yet. Then I realised that I had already this particular term paper years ago.

I am obviously not over the whole thing just yet, but I'm on it and praying.

The dream turned out to be true though none of the symbols did not translate 1 on 1 in real life. There was no train, for instance. Anyway, basically I'm pretty sure she is going through a tough time which also made her meaner and that she is not telling me everything. With this I am not saying that she is really malicious, but I have begun to see her as manipulative.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream of a good friend of mine. We had agreed that she would come by train and that I would pick her up at the station. The day comes, but she isn’t there. I look around, even try to phone her up. I dialled the wrong number though and called up a female colleague of whom I don’t even have the number in real life, but whom I value both as a colleague and person. I cut the call short though (politely) and went looking again. Then there was a train and I was sure that she was in it. At that point one of my supervisors tried to order me to not enter the train, which I ignored, because we were not at work. In the train I found her sitting in the VIP section (doesn’t exist for real) with a couple of guys. One of them, a rather overweight guy had her arm around her. Whether it was in a romantic way or not wasn’t clear though. Maybe he was just a friend, or a family member, or a lover? No idea. Anyway, I also noticed that she had dyed her hair platinum blond which is quite a change, because her actual hair colour is extremely dark. Also, she acted friendly like she was happy to see me and tried to give me the impression that everything was absolutely fine with nothing to worry about. Crazy thing is that this is exactly the feeling that I had about this scene: There was really nothing to worry about! This annoyed me though because it didn't strike me as a logical conclusion.

Now, last night we chatted a bit in real life. I guess she is going through a hard time and had been drinking. I did not give her a hard time about this, but it had me concerned. BTW, we are likely to meet again in a couple of weeks.

Frankly, I like her, but she is either extremely tough or an excellent actor. In fact my mother met her on one occasion and straight up told me that she is either very troubled, or just pretending to be weak so that people underestimate and become more open around her. She did not notice anything malicious about her though (quite the contrary!), just the impression of an actor. Maybe even a cop? And my mom is extremely good at things like that.

I obviously like this woman, because she is intelligent, fun to talk to and exactly my kind of freak with whom I click, if I may say so. Still, this dream, this chat, my mom’s impression… I’m not sure whether it is just my mind, or God who is trying to tell me something here.

Lately I have been having dreams about tests again. Sometimes the dream is about an actual test that is due shorty and for which I haven’t learned the slightest, and sometimes it is about a term paper that is not even remotely done, but which has to be handed in shortly. It is not really surprising that this scares me yet the really crazy thing is that all these dreams are about tests/term papers that I have already passed in the past! Sometimes I even remember that in my dream and already wonder there why I am so worried for nothing and sometimes I only remember this after waking up. Each time I feel confused though. Why do I worry about tests I have already passed in the past?

BTW, I think I wrote about a similar dream here before. That dream was about an extremely important test that turned out to be extremely easy. This confused me as well. I got the questions and was shocked as to how easy they were. This dream also resembles an actual test I had to pass in the past. It was not as easy as the one I dreamed about, but it was still much easier for *me* than I had expected. So, I guess there is a theme.

(Side note: I passed each of the actual tests/term papers in real life. Most of them even with extremely good marks.)

The long hair was a bit too long for my taste and I thought about shortening it a bit. As for that monastery, going there felt right.

BTW, said bouncer is no longer working at that club. It seems like he found a better full time job. Maybe it was just that?

Possible. I can think of 1-2 things this might refer to. I guess that time will have to tell. BTW, 2 nights later I had a similar dream. In that dream I saw myself in a mirror with extremely long hair. The sight of all this hair going down all the way to my belt surprised me quite a bit. There is an obvious connection between long hair and Metal, but isn't long hair also a sign for faith and for strength?

There are too many loose ends though. I guess time will really have to tell.

Last night I had another unusual dream. I was dreaming of a bouncer (huge, muscular, heavily tattooed) of a local Heavy Metal club. We were sitting in a quiet corner, and something was stirring in him. I have no idea why, but I was obviously trying to give him comfort which he seemed to appreciate a lot. Then he asked me to accompany him to a nearby monastery.

We are not close are anything like that though. I know his name, and respect him as a calm professional, but that is it. Also, there is no monastery near that club, which is why I suspect that it was rather a symbol for "faith" as such. I'm also wondering whether the bouncer stood for the actual bouncer in real life, some other person, or even a group of persons.

Any suggestions?

Update:
I hope that this is just a rumour, but it seems like she doesn't know who the father is. I'm sad to say this, but I do think that this is very well possible. There is a reason why I don't hold her foster parents in high regard. Many reasons actually. *sigh*

I had suspected this for quite a while. Anyway, even if I held her foster parents in high regard (I don't) then she could still need all the prayers she can get. I just hope that the father, or his parents will help her. :(

Frankly, I am not sure whether this particular dream was really from God. I had several dreams lately and each one prepared me for real life events! Those events are all linked to each other (long story) and all about me and a very special person. All dreams except for this one. It was intense, but it did simply not fit in, neither story wise (the "special person" did not appear) nor emotionally. There was no peace, but rather fear and depression. I still remember how I woke up and how the dream had depressed me. It was a nasty feeling. And then, the next day, the dream became reality.


A couple of days ago I had two further dreams. The first dream felt like being a part of the series I mentioned above. It infused me with a feeling of peace, it felt good, and seemed like yet another dream that is supposed to prepare me for a real life encounter with said special person. The dream still has to be put to the test (most likely coming Sunday, imho), but that is exactly how it felt.

After that dream I woke up for a moment, but went back to sleep again as it was still in the middle of the night. That is when I dreamed another dream. That one felt nasty again. I was trying to get my grandmother (she died more than 10 years ago) out of her house because I could sense that there was something dangerous nearby. For some reason she couldn't feel the danger though and was therefore not exactly in a hurry. When we were close to the door I heard a singing voice that sang a single line: "You'll stop hoping."

The voice itself sounded nice, but its promise did not. It freaked me out so much that I woke up immediately.
I'm not quick with saying that the devil is trying to mess with me, but that is exactly how it felt. It is as if the devil himself had noticed that God is up to something in my life which he is trying to prevent from happening.

I guess it is obvious that I want this "something" to be a relationship with said special person, and that I suspect that the devil is having similar thoughts. I know that I might be wrong about God's plan, but so might be the devil. I mean, if God should have a different plan then so be it. I'd get over it after a while and would simply enjoy what God has in mind instead. Still, this special person might become a target herself and that freaks me out way more than those dreams. I just don't want her to suffer.

Also, what if my hopes about God's plan are right? Could it be that this special person will screw up God's plan after all? Would that be even possible? And what would it mean for her? Personally, I'd also be hurt, but I am sure that I would get over it and that God would make up for it, but what about her?

On the night from Sunday to Monday I had a dream about a troubled person going up the stairs of a church tower of a huge, old church (several centuries) here only to throw himself down from there. In that dream I felt that he knew what he was going to do, but he wasn't really scared. It rather felt like he had already given up.

On Monday, i.e. only a few hours later this happened for real! It was exactly the same church. Also, I remember a scene from that dream that showed him dead on the square where he hit the ground and how people stood around him. That square was also explicitly mentioned by name in the news.

Frankly, the more I think about it, the more it freaks me out! I mean, it happened yesterday, but the whole thing didn't start to sink in until today. Seriously, this whole thing scares me! I talked about this with my mom, and it seems like I come after my great grandmother there. I have no idea whether that is of importance for *me* though.

All prayers are appreciated!

I try to, but frankly I am not sure what "careful" really means here. I'm not even remotely trying to hide my character though. I'd rather be rejected for who I am, than to be accepted for who I am not. Still, all this is so weird, so unusual that I simply have no experience at all concerning how to deal with such a situation. I mean, I dated before, but all these dreams are new and already got me way more emotionally involved than I should be. I don't like that and it worries me, but I can't help it either. It is the way it is, and it feels wayyy over my head.

I don't want to get hurt, but I just can't help it, I get more and more emotionally involved.

Yep, that is exactly how I feel about this dream. Also, it is not the first dream of that kind that I had of her. Basically every time we went out I had a dream like that and every time it turned out that the dream had prepared me for something in regards to her. Every single time. So no, this is not an isolated incident as such, it is "just" that this particular dream symbol appeared in her dream as well.

If nothing goes wrong then I'll see her on the 27th again. I'm not sure whether there will be another dream until then, but it would not surprise me either. Also, I don't know for sure about her, but under normal circumstances I would say that I am already wayyyyy more emotionally attached to her than I should be at this point. But then, is this really such a surprise after all this? I mean, how am I supposed to not grow more and more attached to her in a situation like this? It simply happens, and THAT is something I am not used to.

I am currently wondering...

A while ago I had a dream of a friend. I admit that I hope that *more* will develop, which might play a massive role.

Anyway, the symbolic image I'm referring to was her as an old woman.

In *my* dream she was the young woman she really is at first, but then she told me about something that scared and troubled her. While she did so I saw her turn into an old woman within seconds.

That is also where *she* interrupted me and told me about her own dream. In her own dream she had appeared as a young woman and as an old woman. The young woman was the active one and tried to cheer up her older troubled self, but was not successful there.

THEN *I* continued telling about my dream and about how I hugged her in *my* dream, about how I was able to soothe her and about how this turned her into her younger, i.e. into her real self again.


We had no idea of each others dream. Basically I am still blown away and I think that so is she. And yes, I do hope for *more* with this woman... and then this.

Any prayer and any input is greatly appreciated!

5 Then Jesus said to them, “Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; 6 a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.’ 7 And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ 8 I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity[e] he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.
9 “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Luke 11: 4-10

Frankly, I'm not sure what your dream is about exactly, but the "knocking" part seems like a call for persistence. Maybe it is even the kind of persistence that gets on other people's nerves, but I am not sure about THAT.

Hopefully. Too much was hidden though. I hope for one particular interpretation, but frankly, I'm a bit worried that I hope for one interpretation only to get another one.

The hoody image reminds me quite a lot of the armour of God. Wearing an armour is a very physical experience. It might absorb blows and keep you from harm, but you are still likely to notice massive blows. Those blows don't hurt at all - you are wearing an armour after all - but you still notice some kind of bump that makes you aware that something, or somebody struck against your armour.

Only your initial reaction makes me wonder. It could mean that God won't mind it if you mistake one of his gifts for something bad (curse) just as long as you recognise your mistake for what it is (bless).

There is one thing I would like to ad. The dream might have been a warning from God to prepare you. I mean, why should the devil warn you? A surprise attack tends to leave way more damage.

So yes, in a way I see this dream as something very positive. God showed that he cares about you by giving you a chance to prepare yourself. :)

It wasn't really a dream, rather something that appears in front of your eyes while you are trying to fall asleep. This strong image appeared last night and the night before. This repetition makes me wonder.

I saw a beautiful sky at either sunset, or sunrise with letters and often entire sentences appearing in it. The words looked Arabic, or maybe Hebrew. At times I thought I could make out a sentence though, as if the words became clearer the more I looked at them. Problem was, the more I focused on a sentence, or an individual word the faster it disappeared. I was able to identify one word in such a sentence though, "love".

Maybe it was a dream that was supposed to prepare you for exactly the kind of guy who would spike a girl’s drink? Most guys would never do that, but fact is that this kind of thing does happen. Or maybe you are just worried? I mean, being alone and away from home with many guys around? Trust me, if that should be the case then I can assure you that most men would never do such a thing. Common sense is usually way more than enough to avoid most dangerous situations.
Also, please keep in mind that there is no reason for feeling bad about having been a victim. It is the perpetrator who is at fault, and not the victim.

Last night I had a strange dream. A few years ago I worked with a couple of kids. One of them was an arrogant troublemaker. Intelligent, but arrogant. In that dream he was making fun of me, and when I approached him he ran away, turned around and hurled even further insults well knowing that I could never run as fast as him. Well, what did I do? I saw his bag in the grass and gave it a couple of kicks. I also told him that he should get his act together as he is no longer in school and that such actions tend to have consequences in the real world. This got him to shut up.

Frankly, I don’t like my aggressive behaviour in retrospect, but fact is that I do take serious issues with people who make fun of other people just because they think that they can. I like to see it as me teaching him a lesson for life, but I am really wondering whether that is something I should work on. Seriously, I am still wondering what to make of this.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream where I had some nasty blemish on my right knee. It fell off with a simple wipe from my hand though. Short after that I went through some old audio plays from my own childhood. One of them still contained an advertisement leaflet for other audio plays where a friend of mine was constantly named as either the author and/or narrator. That is impossible in reality as she must have been way too young for that at the time, but she was still mentioned time and time again.
Maybe I am wrong, but a knee with a blemish… it is pretty difficult to be on your knees with that “thing”. But the blemish went away extremely easily. I hope this refers to increased humbleness from my part. As for the audio plays, well, I appreciate her artistic attitude and wouldn’t put something like that beyond her. But audio plays for children? That is either some very serious wishful thinking from my part, or a hint from God? Or maybe something else? Frankly, I don’t know.

Every input is appreciated.

Standing under the cross stands for having accepted Jesus, and the ark for being saved. Personally, I'd say that you can take this as a "little" reassurance of your faith. :)