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  1. Update: I hope that this is just a rumour, but it seems like she doesn't know who the father is. I'm sad to say this, but I do think that this is very well possible. There is a reason why I don't hold her foster parents in high regard. Many reasons actually. *sigh*
  2. I had suspected this for quite a while. Anyway, even if I held her foster parents in high regard (I don't) then she could still need all the prayers she can get. I just hope that the father, or his parents will help her. :(
  3. A while ago I had a dream of an old friend entering into my life again. We hadn’t seen us for years, but it was as if no time had passed. Then, a couple of days later, I met an old friend I hadn’t seen for years and it was as if no time had passed. The only difference was that the person from the dream had been a different person, but that was about it. She, i.e. the person I met again for real, is currently going through a tough time and I am praying a lot for her. Also, she is the person I mentioned in my earlier initial post above. She is the one who makes me look like a wallflower and who radiates so much life these days. Yes, she is going through a tough time right now, but she did still blow me away! I have no idea how she felt when we met, but as I said, *I* was blown away in a way that I never experienced before. All prayers are appreciated!
  4. It is tough to be there for others for so many reasons, but it is also sooooo important! *prays*
  5. Recently I was wondering whether I should pray for a certain musician or not. The reason why I even wonder is his notoriety. He is a racist, did time for murder and openly proclaims that he considers Christianity a mental illness. He is also rather influential within certain circles though, but that is beyond the point. I'm simply wondering whether I should pray for him as an individual person or not. I even already prayed about this question, but nothing. No response whatsoever.
  6. Well, I found a job last year. I still have it, but I have a chance to get a better job. The new job would require an apprenticeship first where I would make less money than now, but chances for getting a long term contract after the apprenticeship are great! I'd work better hours and - after the apprenticeship - I would make more money than at my current job. The new job would also be much more secure than my current job which is another reason why I really want it! Anyway, I already passed the initial screening process and was invited for an entry exam and would appreciate all prayers in this respect!
  7. I could need some guidance again, because right now I am feeling like a person going through a dense fog. What is the right next step? Where to go to? I have the impression that God gave me some hints that help me to avoid the worst/most obvious missteps, but I still feel uncomfortable with a lot of steps/decisions I have to make. One big issue is the question whether I should finally leave my current church, or try to find a smaller one thereby risking even greater disappointment or not. The reason for this is that I already made some unpleasant experiences with the members of smaller independent churches that still worry me. In this context it is interesting that, today, I got an email by a woman I haven’t seen for ages, but who got me into contact with such a group that freaked me out a lot. I went out with her a few times, but it never felt like she was free. She rather came across like somebody in (spiritual) chains, somebody bound by too much legalism. That is why I lost touch with her. Anyway, today I got an email concerning her upcoming birthday party. I strongly suspect that she simply sent that email to everybody in her address book though and that I should therefore not accept the invitation, because it feels like I was never supposed to get it in the first place. Still, the email made me look for her on the internet and wow! She is no longer the wall flower I remember and has rather turned into a beautiful bird! Beautiful, strong, radiating life, living a life with and for her music and she also seems to still believe in God! We haven’t talked for years, but I wonder whether I should use this email as an opportunity to get back in touch with her to find out what happened! I have no idea whether this is a good idea though or whether it will lead to anything else but me getting ignored, because frankly, compared to how she looks now *I* am the wallflower these days. But it is not (only) about looks. She radiates life and frankly, I’m not sure whether I would do her a favour with me bothering her. As a side note: She isn’t the first woman from my past to contact me accidentally like that. The same happened a few weeks ago with another woman. We never dated or so, but suddenly there is an email from her in my account that seems to have been erroneously sent to her entire address book. Maybe I’m interpreting too much into this, but this happening TWICE within 2-3 weeks??? Also, I’m trying to get closer to a colleague at work. She is shy, but seems nice. I don’t know her THAT well, but getting in touch with that old acquaintance of mine, an acquaintance I even dated a few times... I guess this could easily make me look like somebody who chases after every skirt and that is something I would prefer to avoid. *I* sure know that I am not like that, but who other than God and my closest friends would believe me? Anyway, this is a rather complex story with a certain twist, but that is exactly why I even bothered to write and post this. Any input is greatly appreciated! The same goes for prayers, of course. :)
  8. I had such times of waiting before and I wouldn't be surprised to experience them again. I hope I'll be spared though. Anyway, as I said, I had to endure such times of waiting a few times before. They were tough, but once they were over it felt like something had changed for the better and that it was worth it. :)
  9. The "armour of God" speaks - figuratively - from a real armour. Wearing a real armour was a very physical experience and the same went for blows going against it. What I am trying to say is that feeling a blow despite wearing a real armour is not a sign that the real armour in question is bad, it just means that the armour had to absorb a blow that would have been much worse if one had not been wearing a real armour. Maybe the way how the "armour of God" is compared to a real armour implies similar effects in respect to spiritual blows? The armour of God might give you perfect protection, but this doesn't necessarily have to mean that you won't notice a massive blow against it. Those "evil thoughts" you are referring to are such a blow, imho. You do not succumb to them and even struggle against them. To me this means that you are much better protected than you seem to think. You still notice the blows, but they don't take you out. So pray to God, ask for help and don't worry too much about the fact that fighting in an ancient armour (of God) is a very physical experience. And maybe it is even better that way, because it reminds us that there is "something" going on.
  10. This is exactly where I'm at right now. It has been a great lesson for me to learn how to wait but I think I have it down now. I asked the Lord to help me through this "waiting" thing. And its funny that Dreamster mentioned having a word to stand on thats personal to you that will sustain you....that is exactly what I asked the Lord for....a WORD!! I almost thought it was selfish of me to ask for that. But the Lord gave me that word I asked for. And i believe He did it because He saw my heart. I have a desire to be taught and led by the Lord, I asked for help and he gave it to me. He also told me to be aggressive in prayer and worship through this time. So during my waiting, I worship in prayer and song. Oh how I love HIM!!!! Sometimes I ask him in prayer as to what he wants *me* to do. I always feel uncomfortable a bit about this though, because I wonder how I would react if he should really ask for something from me. I am honest to him about this though and always ad that I know that I trust him also there. Still, right now there is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable in prayer than asking this particular question. Even my honesty to him doesn't change this, or has at least not changed this yet.
  11. I find it interesting that I found this thread short before I was about to post a similar thread myself. Basically I made the experience that I tend to feel relaxed and calm short before times of trouble, turmoil or physical illness. Right now I am feeling this kind of inner calmness again and I am beginning to wonder whether this is (again) the proverbial "calm before the storm".
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