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Habakkuk

Any advice?

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I could need some guidance again, because right now I am feeling like a person going through a dense fog. What is the right next step? Where to go to? I have the impression that God gave me some hints that help me to avoid the worst/most obvious missteps, but I still feel uncomfortable with a lot of steps/decisions I have to make.

One big issue is the question whether I should finally leave my current church, or try to find a smaller one thereby risking even greater disappointment or not. The reason for this is that I already made some unpleasant experiences with the members of smaller independent churches that still worry me. In this context it is interesting that, today, I got an email by a woman I haven’t seen for ages, but who got me into contact with such a group that freaked me out a lot. I went out with her a few times, but it never felt like she was free. She rather came across like somebody in (spiritual) chains, somebody bound by too much legalism. That is why I lost touch with her.

Anyway, today I got an email concerning her upcoming birthday party. I strongly suspect that she simply sent that email to everybody in her address book though and that I should therefore not accept the invitation, because it feels like I was never supposed to get it in the first place. Still, the email made me look for her on the internet and wow! She is no longer the wall flower I remember and has rather turned into a beautiful bird! Beautiful, strong, radiating life, living a life with and for her music and she also seems to still believe in God!

We haven’t talked for years, but I wonder whether I should use this email as an opportunity to get back in touch with her to find out what happened! I have no idea whether this is a good idea though or whether it will lead to anything else but me getting ignored, because frankly, compared to how she looks now *I* am the wallflower these days. But it is not (only) about looks. She radiates life and frankly, I’m not sure whether I would do her a favour with me bothering her. As a side note: She isn’t the first woman from my past to contact me accidentally like that. The same happened a few weeks ago with another woman. We never dated or so, but suddenly there is an email from her in my account that seems to have been erroneously sent to her entire address book. Maybe I’m interpreting too much into this, but this happening TWICE within 2-3 weeks???

Also, I’m trying to get closer to a colleague at work. She is shy, but seems nice. I don’t know her THAT well, but getting in touch with that old acquaintance of mine, an acquaintance I even dated a few times... I guess this could easily make me look like somebody who chases after every skirt and that is something I would prefer to avoid. *I* sure know that I am not like that, but who other than God and my closest friends would believe me?

Anyway, this is a rather complex story with a certain twist, but that is exactly why I even bothered to write and post this. Any input is greatly appreciated! The same goes for prayers, of course. :)

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It's been almost a month since you've posted this...I will respond later because I have some things to share with you.

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Sorry...it's almost another month and I'm just now responding...

Why are you so hard on yourself? Why don't you believe that you can have any woman that you are interested in? I believe if you just step out of the insecurity suit you are wearing, you will be appealing to the women who are in your midst. You are only assuming she didn't send the email to you on purpose...but what if she did? I'm not sure how old you are, but there is nothing wrong with seeking out both of them for friendship purposes...and then see which one takes off. If neither on of them does, then you have time to keep seeking until you find HER!

Blessings to you...

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lean on the lord and not unto your own understanding and god will guide you that's what the bible say don't remember where but it says that. so if u don't really know what to do just lean on god.

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A while ago I had a dream of an old friend entering into my life again. We hadn’t seen us for years, but it was as if no time had passed. Then, a couple of days later, I met an old friend I hadn’t seen for years and it was as if no time had passed. The only difference was that the person from the dream had been a different person, but that was about it.

She, i.e. the person I met again for real, is currently going through a tough time and I am praying a lot for her. Also, she is the person I mentioned in my earlier initial post above. She is the one who makes me look like a wallflower and who radiates so much life these days. Yes, she is going through a tough time right now, but she did still blow me away! I have no idea how she felt when we met, but as I said, *I* was blown away in a way that I never experienced before.

All prayers are appreciated!

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