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Tiddly Winks

To chat or not to chat...that is the question

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Here's the deal. I am not big into live chats unless I know someone. I can chat with folks here on the facebook chat (when the thing actually works halfway decently). I hate chatting with people I don't know, and specifically, I hate chatting in groups of people I don't know. I just feel violated and uncomfortable when I get into groups on Facebook where I am constantly bugged by the live chat window.

I like chatting with people I'm close friends with. For example, I keep the chat window open specifically for people like Kokonee, who I know in real life. Otherwise, I am not really into it. Call me abnormal, but that's the way I am. I hate, no I loathe groups that will not let people change the settings to block the chat. I am tired of having to close the chat window, because it's not my thing...and then when I do close it, then the bloody thing should stay closed. Right?

Wrong. Every time I go into Facebook, then a group that I really like being a part of automatically opens the chat window. I have tried blocking the chat window on their page, but it will not stay blocked, in fact, five seconds later, I go back to check to make sure it's still blocked and it's not. I finally went to my page, and could only find the chat window for individual friends, but not for groups. So, I wrote the moderator of the group, and am waiting for an answer.

I guess I will ultimately have to delete the group if she doesn't respond. My reason, I'm not really into chatting. Why can't people understand that? Does it make me a sociological hermit? I don't know, but it's really annoying.

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I agree with you. I am in introvert in real life, and have found that I am the same on chat and on the forum.

I don't belong to any groups, so don't know how that works. But what I've done is made up different lists for chat. Then I can close the ones I don't want to interact with at the time. There are a couple of real life acquaintances who will talk my leg off if I let them. So being able to close those lists helps a lot. I have one list with only my daughter on it - of course she's also on my "family" list, but sometimes I just don't want to talk to anyone but her if she's available. Would this work for you, Yvette? Again, I don't know how the groups work so maybe this isn't a possibility.

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I have most people on a games list, that is the people I play PS or Petville or Happy Pets with. I have had way too many people using the chat function to beg for stuff, which I won't do. I figured that if someone really wanted to talk to me, then they could PM and I could decide when or if I am available to chat. I have actaully made chat appointments with people.

With the facebook group thing (which is really what bugs me) there are 1. a group of about 70 or so members on it, most of which are complete strangers to me, and 2. about seven or eight that are active chatters. I contacted the moderator of this group about it and she told me that she is looking into it. I hope that she will find an answer to it. She doesn't want to lose me as a member because of a facebook issue, but I think it's the settings of that group, which need fixing. It's a rather nice group, so I hope that she will be able to resolve this.

I had one person who would do that (message me to chat and talk me to death) and for my sanity, I finally blocked her from chatting with me. I decided this around the time my husband lost his job, and I simply have other worries. It's sad to be 'friends' with someone who only spoke of their problems and never bothered to ask a simple 'how are you?'. But, that's all resolved now...at least I think so.

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I hope the moderator of that group can resolve your problem. Sounds like you are dealing with a large group of people, and so probably more chatters. Yes, it's hard to deal with someone who is mainly focused on her/himself. I know there are many people who love chatting, but it does get wearing sometimes.

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I dont like chatting at all, I only logs in when needed, it makes very slow my pc, so its always turned off
I have these settings for groups and chat window never opens
 chat10.jpg

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I did that, but the group automatically rechecked the box. That's why I told the moderator that I wasn't happy with it and considered quitting.

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Sad Hmm then probably the mod will not be able to change it, you can try to see if its possible to change that creating a group .. just to try settings as admon, I guess it can be deleted later when you have tried all possible changes

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Tiddly Winks wrote:
Here's the deal. I am not big into live chats unless I know someone. I can chat with folks here on the facebook chat (when the thing actually works halfway decently). I hate chatting with people I don't know, and specifically, I hate chatting in groups of people I don't know. I just feel violated and uncomfortable when I get into groups on Facebook where I am constantly bugged by the live chat window.

I like chatting with people I'm close friends with. For example, I keep the chat window open specifically for people like Kokonee, who I know in real life. Otherwise, I am not really into it. Call me abnormal, but that's the way I am. I hate, no I loathe groups that will not let people change the settings to block the chat. I am tired of having to close the chat window, because it's not my thing...and then when I do close it, then the bloody thing should stay closed. Right?

Wrong. Every time I go into Facebook, then a group that I really like being a part of automatically opens the chat window. I have tried blocking the chat window on their page, but it will not stay blocked, in fact, five seconds later, I go back to check to make sure it's still blocked and it's not. I finally went to my page, and could only find the chat window for individual friends, but not for groups. So, I wrote the moderator of the group, and am waiting for an answer.

I guess I will ultimately have to delete the group if she doesn't respond. My reason, I'm not really into chatting. Why can't people understand that? Does it make me a sociological hermit? I don't know, but it's really annoying.



Wow, no it doesn't make you a sociological hermit You're just sensible XD

(I don't have anything useful to say, but I really liked reading all the posts in this thread!)

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