How would you deal with it..

[Stue11 0]

As most members know in light of what happend sunday just gone, i was just wandering, how would, or even how did you deal with such events, i wont go into detail as everyone knows of the days events thus far, myself personally is suffering terribly of flashbacks and even gone of certain foods because of it...dont think you need to know what food i mean by that...yea weve all lost loved ones whether its a tragic loss, old age, desease etc etc i was 12 when my cousen died on his motorbike outside my school and i also watched him pass, im sorry to inflict such misery on everyone i was just wandering how someone else coped with such tragic events. Folk say a lot that times a good healer which in most cases could be true but for me doesnt feel like it at the mo, so thanks guys and gals for taking the time to read my post and i thank everyone that replies in advance, i will try and get back to my same old happy self as soon as poss, so please bare with me if i dont seem myself, please ride safe and make sure you return home safely after every ride [center]

[Chadatious 0]

its good to post mate, you dont want to keep bottle up. as time passes it will fade. maybe if the lad gets better it will help rest your mind.

when ive seen someone die but not in a such way you have, but 9 years on as i was 11, it has faded away.

[XS1100 0]

I understand Stu but am crap at putting pen to paper.Ive been there so I know how you feel.

its early days but your mind will adjust it may take a little wile.I could say chill out but thats easyer said than done.

some one here may help more.I am mad any way!

[dick65 0]

i lost my dad when i was 12 still miss him. youll never forget but it will ease mate as gaz said its early days and just talking can help a lot im not much cop at this but it will get easier,just take it one step at a time.

[Davehutch-hutchs 0]

This wont be the answer you want but here goes,.... answer your texts and thank it wasnt anyone you know , i really feel for you all involved, but it happens every day , not nice seeing someone die , I know , time will and i mean will help , Now where are we meeting for mikes thing in November ???

[trebor4460 0]

You just gotta put it behind you Stue, a lot easier said than done I know but you don't want it preying on your mind, specially when you out on the Bandit.
Take your mind off it m8 by concentrating on somthing you enjoy doing, your weight training for instance, once you have Brocken the cycle of it preying on your mind it will fade away, never forgotten but memories only to be recovered when you want to recover them.

[Guest Guest]

Write it down. Talk about it. I had more shit happen to me in 6 months than most deal with in a lifetime.. and I had a full on meltdown in 2002. Thought I'd got over it but it never went away and ate at me til I finally got help. I can't stress how much coucelling helped me. I'm the size I am cos of all the baggage I've 'just got on with' instead of dealing with it. I put my words and made a book. It sits on my shelf and reminds me that I survived. I don't recognise that person anymore.

You are suffering from shock mate. And grief. And also I bet you are envisioning what would happen to you and yours if that happened to you. You're feeling your mortality. That's normal. Don't let it consume you. You're lucky to have a wonderful wife to support you and good friends.

There was nothing you could do. Or anyone could have done. Shit happens... life is full of painful shit. It's how we deal with it, is what defines us.

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))

[haveugot1 0]

It never goes away m8 it just becomes easier to deal with and the dreams and constant thinking about it do subside, I lost a fellow squadie in ireland he was shot. Don't bottle it up ever and if u wanna shed a tear then do so it helps relieve the tension,
But all in all m8 we are all here for you.

[BanditMike 0]

As has been said above mate, talk about it. Address it and confront it don't bottle it. If you bottle it up it will start to control you, you won't do things because of what might happen. You have enough friends and family who are prepared to sit and discuss. Not all of them will have an answer, but all will listen and try to understand what you're going through. If need be, take some counselling. I know it's not the "macho" thing to do, but who gives a if it helps you come to terms with it?

Wishes and thoughts to you, the good lady, Onslow and Robbie.

Will catch up with you in November .

[sweban 0]

@BanditMike wrote:

If need be, take some counselling. I know it's not the "macho" thing to do, but who gives a if it helps you come to terms with it?

[Guest Guest]

Stue

Get to the Doctors mate, they can refer you to a bereavement counsellor, you do need to speak to a professional. They will give you the tools you need to cope with what you are feeling.

You could even try the citizens advice and they will put you in touch with someone.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/bereavement.html

From what you have said you are displaying the classic symptoms of grief. Stue, go to the Drs and talk to them you really really need to do this.

Rose, xxx

[steph42 0]

this is the seventh time ive tried to reply to this Stu, i understand how you feel at the moment , i lost one off my oldest friends 8yrs ago this month. we had gone over into europe on the bikes , up through france and into germany the plan was get pissed at oktoberfest , Craig had been riding at the back off the bunch , got bored and blasted to the front, we were just outside hamburg when he plowed straight into on-comming traffic hitting a van head-on at speed , he died instantly ,i was completly helpless and could do nothing..when we all got home i parked the bike in the garage , i couldnt look at the bloody thing for over a year , i didnt wana go for a blast without my mate, but with the right support and time i got back to riding again.

i still have the odd nightmare about it. i still cry about it at this time of year.


talk about it whether to a close friend/ partner or if you need to a bereavement counsellor....the important thing is the talking , it will help. Your local doc maybe able to give you help/ support.

look after yourself mate