I've fallen in a big way for the wrong man...

[GoldenEagle 0]

I've just realised I'm actaully, all out in love with somebody who's had a live-in girlfriend who makes him miserable for 15 years. he's looking for God, but had 2 very major traumas and is angry.

This is very, very bad. I have gotten too close to this person. I know all his private pain and he knows mine, and I can't get him out of my head. I feel I'm going nuts.

[Cholette 0]

I get it!! I really do GoldenEagle. The way I've handled it is that I had to look at the big picture. Ask yourself, "if this man remains this way, could he make me happy?" I'm talking happy in the way you KNOW you deserve and the way God planned it.

I understand that when I'm in pain internally, I will attract people who are in pain...in the same way. It's not about his live-in girlfriend because 9 times out of 10, that won't work. The thing is, can you deal with a man who is angry with God? It's not to say that can't change after one touch from the Lord, but let's just say it takes awhile. Is this a person you desire to have in your life KNOWING the new direction that you are about to take in your life?

Just some things to think about. All it takes is a simple prayer to the Lord saying that you know he's the wrong man and that because God made you royal, you are choosing to wait for the RIGHT MAN. God will touch you and "get him out of your head" because He has GREAT plans for you...and that includes healing you internally and physically...I feel that very strongly!

God loves you GoldenEagle...more than you know...despite the things you've gone through. None of it is Him...He has set you above all the negativity you have experienced in your life and wants you to reign above all of the stuff you have experienced. It takes you laying down everything and allowing Him to unfold your life. He's waiting to do that and IT WILL BLOW YOU MIND!!! (and that includes a GOOD man...one that you never realized existed)

[GoldenEagle 0]

Well, maybe this is the right man if the circumstances can be tweaked... lol. Is this a person I desire to have in my life knowing it's going ina new direction? yes, yes and yes. I've never net abybody like him. He's like a ray of light; he can make people more positive and get them to change things that are hurting them. I've never known anybody with such a gift for enthusing people, and I have felt depressed for years. But then last year he was on a trip with a close friend and the close friend died horribly infront of him in a road traffic accident. Then his the baby he and his girlfriend were having died at week 36 of the pregnancy. Thise things are quite recent and I don't know what their longterm effect will be.

He phoned me on the baby's due date, a very difficult day and I was worried that he turns to me about things instead of his partner, who is an unstable person who is occasionally physically violent and on most days extremely manipulative. She is a master of the power of guilt.


Thanks again for your encouragement, Cholette. You never let peoploe settle for second best! The things is, I really do believe this man to be the best but somewhere inh my logoical brain I realise I'm on the path to misery if I don't let go.

[Cholette 0]

Well, tweak the prayer a little and ask God to show you in his Word about this man. Trust me, he will. If he is God's best for you, God will speak.

He must have the gift of exhortation. I have that gift too and our lives our HUGE magnents for tragedies because it's the enemies way of keeping us focused on our issues and not on what God has called us to do...ENCOURAGE! Continue to keep him encouraged, regardless of what God reveals to you about him (unless he says to leave him alone).

If He is God's best for you...you WON'T be on your way to misery unless you are with him in the wrong season...

Blessings to you. I'm here if you need me!!

[GoldenEagle 0]

I think you're fabulous. I just wanted you to kno0w that!

[debb castro 0]

Hi GoldenEagle ....i just read of your situation ;; i am in a situation that is a little further in the proses and different circumstances but I was asking the Lord if I should respond and I seamed to get the go a head so I don't want to give advice, just tell you what i have been through.... I to have been through one hart ache after another through out my life just more recently form nov 08 to now :my husband of 27 years of marriage went to be with the Lord suddenly... we were just surviving my kids and i afterward i kept saying we are walking on the water with the Lord,,,,I would go and get bubblie water and sit in a parking lot and just cry out to God i was so alone ;;;( bubble water because I was afraid to drink and drive)...My daughter and her friend were on the computer one day on a christian dating site I asked what they wer doing they showed me and i thought that might be a neat thing so they set me up on there....I talked to a few gentlemen.... and that was the extent one really want us to meet but I knew he was to religious and i been there and don't want to go back.. i took myself off of the site a the advice of a friend but not before i meet Vic.....then we actually meet for coffee.. and as he said we clicked.. I felt so safe w/ him i could talk about anything i could be happy w/ him he opened up to me he had been very hurt by people in his life and made a big mistake in his life that he was very honest about:::I fell hard i just wanted to be with him i would talk to The Lord about my feelings and if they weren't right would he take them from me .....my kids weren't happy and i just felt pressure from every one ecpt Vic.. i just want to be with him ...he loves Gods word he read it over 23 times he love God.....so one day 7 months after my first husband passed days after what would have been our28th anniversary and 3 weeks after Vic and i meet in person.. i could not stand the pressure any more and Vic and I went and got married.....my children would not speak to me nor my friends the ones who just stood by me during the death of my husband among other-things. but now I'll jump to the now he is very religious he has alot of hurt to work through although he says he has forgiven i don't see it,, i am judged for the way i stand in my faith with Christ I find I can talk to him and feel safe like i did at the beginning...he is a good man don't get me wrong and the way he is about my faith is his way of concern because hie doesn't believe in the gift or dreams (though he has alot and says he wonders what they mean) or worship or praying in the spirit or any of the above... its not like it looked like it would be do i love him yess...would I marry him now??????????/ please be careful for yourself and what God has for you you are is daughter his precious posesion.....don't listen to any pressure if there is not peace walk lightly..... ....Debb

[GoldenEagle 0]

Oh, Debb, I am sorry you're not happy. Maybe things will change.... Is it your husband that your children don't like or was it just because their father had died that they reacted like this?

[debb castro 0]

All of the above......debb

[GoldenEagle 0]

Very complicated situation.

[debb castro 0]

yea...but no to complicated for God and i am counting on that....I just hope others can be spared from their own complicated situations from hearing mine even though not the same......but we each have to make our own choices... and some times it gets foggy for us....thank God when we make choices that look not so right the Lord is always there waiting for us .... Love that verse in ps i think though i fall umpteen( my word) he picks us up....I am just trying to go forward...Debb

[Virtuous 0]

I think your topic says it all...