Need Help!

[ggyal 0]

I have posted before in other areas of the forum regarding dreams that God has given me. But I really need help, some sort of encouragement.

Let me say that EVERYTHING in my life has changed recently. My adopted dad who was my best friend in the world died, leaving me with no-one. My mother died. My church is in an uproar at this point, with fighting and arguing and people fighting for positions. All i hear when i go to church now is insults being hurled from the pulpit and i cannot take anymore. I cannot just stop going because i have responsibilities.

The thing that is hurting more than anything now is that I've recently become involved with someone (a believer) and because of all the hurts that I have been going through at church, it literally pushed me into this guys arms. I have never been in a serious relationship, not even before becoming a christian.

Everytime i got frustrated with how things were going at church, i would end up pouring it all out to this guy and he would listen to me, with all my anger and frustrations and the next thing i know we were kissing. And we got very physical, not totally, but very. And this continued several other times to almost sex. The guilt would not let me go. And because of a family history of infirmity, after doing the things i've done, every symptom you can imagine started rearing its head, and i've gone from a christian with no father figure, to a christian struggling with her church home, to becoming physical to the point of shame, guilt and condemnation. I know God has forgiven me as I have let the guy know that I do not plan on being physical with him again unless we are married. I know sex was not involved but I take even physical acts seriously.

Now my mind is wracked with torment over the enemy attacking me physically.
Work for me is hell right now as well with co-workers ganging up on me as I refuse to be party to their loose ways. I am seen as being stuck up, and am not.

I have never been so alone in my life. The only place that I have even a measure of peace is at home, and that is because i live alone.

When church time rolls around, i getting a sinking feeling in my stomach knowing that i have to go back to that.

And this guy tells me he loves me, and I tried to break it off telling him that I don't want a physical relationship, and he says he will be waiting and praying that God shows me that he is serious about me. I gave him another chance because most of the times when we got physical, i was more guilty than he was. I was so emotionally strung that he was an outlet.

Will somebody please talk to me, help me, encourage me. I need it. I feel like am walking around in a fog.

[Jasmine 0]

First things, first. Take a deep breath. Pray that God gives you peace. Youneed that when bad things happen. Right now, you may think life sucks. It doesn't. Anyways, somehow, I fell I can sympathize with you. You feel heavily burdened, confused about what to do, frustrated, angered, misunderstood, mistreated, mournful, and alone. Believe me, you are never alone. You are not even alone in your house. God is always with you. Just ask for his presence.

pray that God knocks some sense into.your church leaders. If they are still terrible, then join a different church. Even if you have responsibility, you should go. It's your responsibility as God's follower to find a church that helps you grow in the things of God.

Have some space between you and your bf. Tell him that, although you have feelings for him, you don't want to get that serious. Also, if you.need someone to talk to, talk to Jesus. I know you want someone physically here, but you should avoid temptation by not pouring your heart to the guy.
you are with. Also, tell him that you feel guilty after almost having sex and to respect your

desicion.

And pray that God will protect you and to help you cope with your father's death. God loves you!

[ggyal 0]

Thanks for the support Jasmine! appreciate your input. Guess when we know we are not alone, it helps.

[Jasmine 0]

Ur welcome

[Dove-Solutions 0]

~ggyal,

I could not agree more with Jasmine that we are never alone. The Lord gave you this group of people to encourage you and love you through your situation....just as he gave himself for you. Romans 8:1 says: therefore there is no condemnation to those who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit. The Lord would never condem you......that is a lie of the enemy. Tell him to shut up and stand your ground. You are forgiven, justified, sanctified and Holy before the Lord through the shed blood of Jesus. We all love you here and we understand that we are only human and though we try to do things right that sometimes things don't go as planned. What we need to do is put that mistake behind us, shake of the dust, stand up and walk. You can do this. The Lord would not bring us to a situation if he would not bring us through it. Be honest with your boyfriend. Tell him you feel this is not the way the Lord would want you to handle the relationship. If he loves you he will understand.

I pray this has been of help and of encouragement.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Jasmine 0]

Amen, Connie!

[Cholette 0]

Jasmine wrote:

First things, first. Take a deep breath. Pray that God gives you peace. Youneed that when bad things happen. Right now, you may think life sucks. It doesn't. Anyways, somehow, I fell I can sympathize with you. You feel heavily burdened, confused about what to do, frustrated, angered, misunderstood, mistreated, mournful, and alone. Believe me, you are never alone. You are not even alone in your house. God is always with you. Just ask for his presence.

pray that God knocks some sense into.your church leaders. If they are still terrible, then join a different church. Even if you have responsibility, you should go. It's your responsibility as God's follower to find a church that helps you grow in the things of God.

Have some space between you and your bf. Tell him that, although you have feelings for him, you don't want to get that serious. Also, if you.need someone to talk to, talk to Jesus. I know you want someone physically here, but you should avoid temptation by not pouring your heart to the guy.
you are with. Also, tell him that you feel guilty after almost having sex and to respect your

desicion.

And pray that God will protect you and to help you cope with your father's death. God loves you!

Dang girl!!! I'm amazed at your maturity...just sayin!! I couldn't have said this better myself.

ggyal...I'm in agreement with both Jasmine and Connie. I love what Connie said...

"You are forgiven, justified, sanctified and Holy before the Lord through the shed blood of Jesus"

This is so key for you right now. These are the weapons that you will need for the rest of your life...after each mistake that you make. God loves you and all of the judgement was put on Jesus at the cross. Be free and separate from your BF. You need to draw in closer to the Lord so HE can fill you. He wants to be the FATHER that you lost. He wants to be the MOTHER that you lost. That episode that you had with your BF is just that longing for intimacy that you are missing from your parents. Go to your loving heavenly father and let Him handle thse areas sweety. He sooooooooo loves you!

As far as the church...you may need to step away for a season until things settle down. You need a place that can uplift you, not tear you down. I can identify with EVERYTHING that you've said here.

[Jasmine 0]

Amen! Also, before you get into a serious relationship, get Jesus into the home called your heart. Staple and tie Him to chair and lock the door. Cling on to Him.as if your life depended on it (cause it does).

[ggyal 0]

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support. I reallly appreciate it. Thanks Jasmine, Connie, and Cholette. I take your words of strength and advice.

It really is a tough time. I have a doctor's appointment in half an hour, on top of everything else. I have to believe that all is well even though i feel like throwing my hands up in the air.

Thanks for showing me God's love and do PRAY for me. i NEEEEEDD it.

REally appreciate you all. God bless

[Dove-Solutions 0]

You know, the Lord will bring you through the fire to purify you and ready you for service. We have all gone through the fire at different times in our lives. Some periods are harder than others but obedience is key. Just let him know that you are standing fast in him. Ask for his strength and courage to do what is right. All those who go to the high places with the Lord walk this same path. We cling to Jesus because he alone can take us through the storm. He is there.....guiding each step. Remember he says I am the good shepherd and my sheep here my voice. Also he says I am the voice behind you saying this is the way, walk ye in it. Every situation you are facing he is with you. He loves you with an everlasting love and will never let you go!

Love in Jesus,

Connie