Fasting: Should I stop because of my health?

[Jasmine 0]

I'm fasting, but I have had stomach pain and the doctors say its either gastroenteritis or an ulcer. They gave me pepcid (famotidine). I fasted the whole day yesterday and when I took the pill I did not get any symptoms. However the day before yesterday I didn't eat and took the pill and my stomach pain worsened but then I ate. Today I am fasting and I took the pill. After around 5 to ten minutes my stomach started hurting (it wasn't hunger pain. I know the difference). Then my head was hurting and cloudy. My knee too. Other stuff started happening. I was sent home from school. My mom said that maybe the pill is too strong and I should take it with food. The pill bottle said nothing about taking it with food and I don't want to break my fast. I have not eaten for a day and a half. The thing is is that I have fallen far from God and I want to change for the better and reconnect with Him. But I also feel like my heart has not been in the right place during this fast. I haven't spent much time with Him because I had homework to finish up and I was being lazy. But I have never even gone a full day before. Is it still okay? Doesn't the fact that I fasted for a day and half count to God? For some reason I feel that I am fasting for merit. I am so unsure about my efforts to show Him that I need Him as my Savior. I am only 14 and I know that spiritually I may be older, but physically I am not. As you can see I am desperate. I am suffering form a porn addiction and I am two months clean from cutting. I know the will that God has for me and I am not fulfilling it. My life is empty. I need to forgive my father and I can't do it without Him.

[astra 0]

Jasmine, it looks like you have put yourself under the Law instead of living under God's Grace. I've learned the difference not that long ago and I can't even figure out how I've made it this far :-)
Under the Law we are striving to achieve "closeness" with God, holiness and righteousness by our own efforts. With other words we are trying to live righteous in order to "earn" God's approval. By doing so we are putting the horse behind the carriage.
The right order is we can live a holy life BECAUSE we were made righteous by Jesus' Blood when we accepted Him as our Lord and Savior. By the act of one (Adam) we were all made sinners and by the act of One we also were all made righteous. So there is nothing we can do out of our own efforts to be righteous, but only by accepting His (Jesus') Sacrifice on the Cross.
All this "spiritual" distress you are experiencing is from believing that you need to strive to be close with God by doing the "right things". God loves you the way you are and He does know you have homework to do, you need time to relax and all. You don't need to do a thing to prove yourself worthy to Him. He saved you when you were a sinner, so far away from Hm, and yet He loved you already.
Devil would love nothing more than rubbing your "faults" into your face, lying to you that because of doing such and such you are not worthy, you are a sinful person and God's mad at you.
Cut his power off by saying" I am the RIGHTEOUS of God because JESUS CHRIST has paid for all my sins. He paid for all my sins on the Cross and gave me His righteousness by GRACE! I already have it! Whom the Son made FREE is FREE INDEED!+ This is not a joke, He did not give us a conditional righteousness even so so many preachers are preaching this junk trying to "scare" people into stopping "sinning". I can talk about it forever but to make it short - any of the sin or any of the addictions dpo not have any power over you because of His Grace! Actually Grace is not a "thing", God IS Grace! So you can't just "lose" it by doing or not doing things. Every time temptation comes to submit to addition, just say "I am God's righteous. By His Grace I AM FREE from this addiction, in Jesus' Name!"
These lies are so dangerous. For years I believed that I had to strive and improve myself to be good enough to receive from God and I simply could not because no matter what I did I just could not get to be good enough. I could not get healing because the devil would tell me I had sin on me and that disqualified me from receiving healing. But now, that I stand on the rock of Grace, he simply can't shake me off it :-) Halleluiah!
Stop beating yourself up and relax and enjoy your closeness with God Who will NEVER EVER leave you! It's not us who chose to be with Him to begin with. It's HIM Who chose to be with us and this will NEVER change! Isn't God AWESOME!
God bless!

[Jasmine 0]

But how do I let God in? How do I love him again? Because if it was just sitting around that does the job then everything would be different. What words do I have to say? No matter how I pray a prayer nothing changes, not even on the inside. It's always back to square one. I have prayed, fasted, rebuked, screamed, cried, gotten on my face, gotten on my arthritis ridden knees, and everything just gets worse. I have tried to be honest and real. What do I do? What do I feel? What do I think? What do I say?

[Cholette 0]

astra wrote:

Jasmine, it looks like you have put yourself under the Law instead of living under God's Grace. I've learned the difference not that long ago and I can't even figure out how I've made it this far :-)
Under the Law we are striving to achieve "closeness" with God, holiness and righteousness by our own efforts. With other words we are trying to live righteous in order to "earn" God's approval. By doing so we are putting the horse behind the carriage.
The right order is we can live a holy life BECAUSE we were made righteous by Jesus' Blood when we accepted Him as our Lord and Savior. By the act of one (Adam) we were all made sinners and by the act of One we also were all made righteous. So there is nothing we can do out of our own efforts to be righteous, but only by accepting His (Jesus') Sacrifice on the Cross.
All this "spiritual" distress you are experiencing is from believing that you need to strive to be close with God by doing the "right things". God loves you the way you are and He does know you have homework to do, you need time to relax and all. You don't need to do a thing to prove yourself worthy to Him. He saved you when you were a sinner, so far away from Hm, and yet He loved you already.
Devil would love nothing more than rubbing your "faults" into your face, lying to you that because of doing such and such you are not worthy, you are a sinful person and God's mad at you.
Cut his power off by saying" I am the RIGHTEOUS of God because JESUS CHRIST has paid for all my sins. He paid for all my sins on the Cross and gave me His righteousness by GRAVE! I already have it! Whom the Son made FREE is FREE INDEED!+ This is not a joke, He did not give us a conditional righteousness even so so many preachers are preaching this junk trying to "scare" people into stopping "sinning". I can talk about it forever but to make it short - any of the sin or any of the addictions dpo not have any power over you because of His Grace! Actually Grace is not a "thing", God IS Grace! So you can't just "lose" it by doing or not doing things. Every time temptation comes to submit to addition, just say "I am God's righteous. By His Grace I AM FREE from this addiction, in Jesus' Name!"
These lies are so dangerous. For years I believed that I had to strive and improve myself to be good enough to receive from God and I simply could not because no matter what I did I just could not get to be good enough. I could not get healing because the devil would tell me I had sin on me and that disqualified me from receiving healing. But now, that I stand on the rock of Grace, he simply can't shake me off it :-) Halleluiah!
Stop beating yourself up and relax and enjoy your closeness with God Who will NEVER EVER leave you! It's not us who chose to be with Him to begin with. It's HIM Who chose to be with us and this will NEVER change! Isn't God AWESOME!
God bless!

KUDOS and HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

[Cholette 0]

Jasmine wrote:

But how do I let God in? How do I love him again? Because if it was just sitting around that does the job then everything would be different. What words do I have to say? No matter how I pray a prayer nothing changes, not even on the inside. It's always back to square one. I have prayed, fasted, rebuked, screamed, cried, gotten on my face, gotten on my arthritis ridden knees, and everything just gets worse. I have tried to be honest and real. What do I do? What do I feel? What do I think? What do I say?

My dearest Jasmine...

Take the pressure off of yourself and ask God to meet you where you are. There is a story in the Bible about Doubting Thomas (John 20) where the faith to trust if Jesus was who He said he was. What did Jesus do? He didn't scream and holler at him, He reached out his hands and allowed him to touch the nailprints in his hands and the scar on his side to prove to him that He was the Son of God. What that means is, Jesus met him where he was. Thomas admitted that he was in unbelief so Jesus had compassion for him and proved to him who he is. There is another man who desired for his son to be healed and he knew that Jesus could do it, but he still had some unbelief. He told Jesus, "Help my unbelief". This is honesty and this is what the Lord wants when we are struggling.

God knows exactly where you are Jasmine. I was reading in Psalm 139, in the Message version, and it talks about how no matter where we turn, the Lord is there. As I was closing the Bible and ready to take those words with me for the day...I heard the Holy SPirit say "I can't take my eyes off of you"... ...how beautiful is that. God is soooo in love with us that He can't take his eyes off of us...despite how we act (unconditional love). So I say to you precious one that all that you feel you can't be to God, He makes it up by being that to you.

Go and ask Him to make himself real to you right where you are...and then wait for Him to do it on his terms. Relax and Let God be the God He desires to be...TO YOU!!!

[astra 0]

Amen Cholette! Praise God!

Jasmine, you said "How do I love Him again?" Remember Jesus' Disciples Peter and John? When they had the last supper John was sitting with his head on Jesus' chest letting Jesus love him. John was boasting in Jesus' love for him. Peter, however, was boasting about his love for Jesus. Remember what happened after? Peter was the one who denied knowing Jesus 3 times before the morning. And wasn't it him who said "Even if they all fall away and are caused to stumble and distrust and desert You, yet I will not [do so]!" (Mark 14:29) What does this tell you? It shows how much our own striving is worth.
Jasmine, it's not about your love or my love for HIm. It's all about HIS Love for you! When you strive to give HIm, your love, you will always fall short, so will I or anyone else. Who out of men will ever be able to repay Him for what He has done for us? So stop striving, but relax and let His love flow through you and transform you.
I am NOT saying "stop loving Him". Not at all. All I am saying is do not base your closeness to God on YOUR love for Him, but on HIS Love for you.
"Because if it was just sitting around that does the job then everything would be different" - I would not put it that way "just sitting around" that does the job. It's absence of your striving, your self-efforts, but allowing Jesus to do the job that makes the difference. He is going to do it better than you or me anyway :-). Amen?
It might take a while to take all this in. I myself am still learning. I understood the message of Grace with my head right away, but it took quite a while till it started to get into my heart and even longer to get myself stop acting based on the Law. I am still working on it. I am listening to the Gospel of Grace DAILY! Meditate on it. Ask God questions (I have so many!).
Every time a condemning thought comes, just say "Thank You, Jesus for paying for this sin instead of me, thank You for taking the punishment and consequence of this sin on Your Body so I don't have to! Thank You for giving me Your Gift of Righteousness and because of this I am FREE from the dominion of sin in my life!"

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Well said Astra and Cholette....well said!

[Daisy 0]

Amen and Amen!!!!

[Grey Butterfly 0]

Hey Jas,

My response is very late.... I wanted to reply anyway cos'
I can't get over how proud I feel of the fact you stopped cutting. In all the conversation above, that was the thing that I kept coming back to... and, you fasted for a day and a half when you were sick [on medication for gastroenteritis or an ulcer and your knee went and you were so sick they sent you home from school] You are one determined to get back with God girl!!!

Let me ask you Jasmine... if you had a small sister and she had messed up. You were watching out for her and praying and hoping that she would turn around and smile again because you love her sooooo much and her smile just melts your heart, and then, if she came to you with tears in her eyes and held out her arms for you would you reject her? Would you not snaffle her up and bawl your eyes out for the joy of having her turn to you? And when she had made progress, she was still suffering terribly from depression but she was not cutting anymore... would you slap her? would you tell her "I don't care if you are sick and have homework..."

If you would not... how much more God!!!

Oh Jasmine - HOW HE LOVES YOU!

He sees you in white robes of the deepest righteousness, glowing, pure and lovely, he sees you as though you had never ever sinned. All of the spiritual realm see you as his daughter [I believe it is visible to those who live in that realm] even Satan can see what you cannot... that is why he pours bile over you...

You have nothing to make up with God.

You have no ground to travel to Him.

Just hold up your arms and believe you rest on his lap... for that is truth.

Will that change your earthly circumstances? Probably not. But you are not a sinful/weak/broken girl in your circumstances... you are the Holy and set apart daughter of the King of kings deliberately placed in the dark so she can shine brightly. You are where you are for a purpose, you are strong and determined, just look at what you have done! But..... You don't need to prove anything to God, as the others said, you don't live under the law and he loves you to bits, he is your cheer squad and he can't stop looking at you... you just need to move on from this point with a new perspective.

Jesus, I want to pray for my little sister, she is 14 and she has been through so much! I ask for strength, I know she has strength and I thank you so much for giving that to her already, I ask for your love to burn brightly in her, may she know it for herself and be a beacon for others, may others see her and know that you exist and you are love. All of this can be a bit theoretical when life is tumbling you God... When you are feeling pummelled and you can barely breathe, it is hard to see that shining with your character is a possibility... it is hard to shine with your love when we can't feel that love ourselves at times. I pray therefore that you will meet Jasmine where she is, love her with such depth that she will feel like she has been coated with honey, that she will feel that every wound has been bound and all her nerve endings (physical, emotional and spiritual) have been quieted and comforted... I pray that you will let her know deep inside her how loved she is, that she is yours and no-one can take her away from you, that she only needs to lean back an inch and she will feel your chest...

I pray Holy Spirit that you will heal Jasmine of depression, miraculously, instantly, replace that feeling with a lightness that grows as she acknowledges it and chooses to go with it. I ask that the lightness of spirit will soon show on her face and she will feel like the clouds have parted and the sun is shining... I pray she will bask in your light and let it soak down into her bones like a confidence and a peace that will become the seat of her strength.

Amen.

Bless you Jasmine :o)

[Jasmine 0]

This post was before I relapsed from cutting. I'm cutting again. Thx for your prayer.