Praying for Deliverance

[writer4him 0]

I am having a difficult conversation with my abusive spouse and he is spinning what I have said to make whatever I say inaccurate, wrong or accusatory.  After separation due to DV 2 years ago I tried to work out things with him, wanting to please God in the matter and practice forgiveness.  I remained adamant theThis year the Lord blessed me with a new job to take care of my 4 children. Prior to that,  I had let their father come over for visits to spend time with them and to see if repentance had really taken place (although he denied being abusive so, how can repentance take place?).  Visits turned into spending the night occasionally after late movie nights (he missed the late bus and couldn't make it home...) Within 2 months of me starting my job he had lost 2 jobs and eventually his apartment but had meanwhile gradually moved in while I was at work.  We agreed to a   60/40 split of the tax return funds so he could move out asap. ($3600/$2400)  3 months later, he has been living here rent-free, not helping with the bills, using my computer all day and night, eating meals w/o buying groceries...the kids tell me how he says hurtful things when I am not at home...their faith in God and attitude about Him has been contaminated after growing up in this sort environment--I didn't know I could leave without God being mad at me until He showed me otherwise---so I kept them in this verbal, physical, emotional and spiritual abuse situation for most of their lives.  Forgiving myself has been difficult; even though I was ignorant about how to categorize what was happening in our home, they still bear the scars of those wounds and I am partly responsible for not protecting them.  Wanting to be sure, I gave our marriage another chance...he in turn has disrespected me and not honored the wishes of my children when they ask him not to do/say hurtful things to them...he somehow turns things back on us and say we misunderstood or are inaccurate in our assessments...

I feel my kindness has been exploited and I prayed and waited for a quiet, calm time to give him a move-out notice 1 month ago.   He suddenly applied for unemployment and offered to help with a bill after the move-out notice...We have not spoken about the move since then until this afternoon.  I calmly asked where he was in the process of finding a place...When I reiterated the above situation he began to accuse me of misrepresenting his actions.  I refused to get caught up in the circuitous loop/diversionary tactic as that is something the Lord had delivered me from after 18 years of crazy-making and manipulation...so i restated my wishes and bowed out of the conversation.  He hurled a few more parting "you're inaccurate, misrepresenting, falsely accusing" statements.  I asked  him not to continue to talk at me and restated my wishes to have him move out by the end of the month.  He said "Oh, I know what you're doing.  You didn't have to pick a fight to do what you really wanted to do".  PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR PROTECTION AND DELIVERANCE as well as repentance/deliverance for him as he is very intelligent and knows how to manipulate systems and people to his advantage...he is a minister and very articulate as well.  I just want to take my kids somewhere peaceful and let them enjoy the rest of their youth (all are teens now).  I stated a few moments ago that I will not get caught up in bickering and defending myself..My case is before heaven's court and I know that God is not fooled by either of us--He knows the truth and he knows our hearts.  Love you, brethren.

[Cholette 0]

WOW...praying for you! I don't have anything to add because I know you know what needs to be done. My prayer is that God gives you the strength, strategy and resources to do what needs to be done. My prayer is that God touches the hearts of your children (and yours) so that you can move forward in your lives.