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Posts posted by suzukijax

  1. It really pees me off when i go out for a ride and i make mistakes that i know are stupid
    Mistake 1 Going round a long but sharpish bend took it too fast and had to lean the bike over way out of my comfort zone Shocked
    Mistake 2 Went up towards Buxton and decided at the last min to turn round and come home at the whistlestop pub i think its called ? so went up the little road beside it to do the dreaded u-turn but it was on a hill so the bike went over on to the right side and i NEARLY dropped her had to pull so hard to get her back i hurt my muscle in my back Sad
    Mistake 3 Got to the traffic lights in Congo they are on a hill and i have to turn left but the lights were on green so didnt need to stop so went round the corner AGAIN too fast and leaned her over too far for my liking thumb down
    Just hate it when im on my own and things like this happen as it puts me off going out again on my own

  2. A man was laying on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

    Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

    The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'

    The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.
    The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

    The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

    The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been f**ked?' The man broke into a big smile and said, 'No.'

    She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.

  3. A Mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mum was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

    The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: 'Nescafe'
    Mum was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
    It said: 'Good till the last drop'.
    Mum blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

    The second girl sent the card from the Maldives a week after the wedding, and the card read: 'Rothmans'
    Mum now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: 'Extra Long. King Size'
    She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

    The third girl left for her honeymoon in Auckland , New Zealand. Mum waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
    Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words 'Air New Zealand '
    Mum took out her latest travel magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for Air NZ.
    The ad said: 'Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.'

    MUM FAINTED!!!!!
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