writer4him

Thanks for the warm welcome!!!

Amen!!!

I had been allowing him to come over for dinner and to watch DVDs; take the kids to the library, etc.. We even surprised him with a birthday cake and dinner several months ago. We wanted to know that we do love him; it's just clear that we are unable to truly fellowship with him until repentance takes place. The unkind behavior just continued to show up no matter what; during one set of movie previews he repeatedly rewound to a scene from the old "Airplane" movie where the hysterical female passenger was slapped repeatedly because he just thought it was SO funny.
So I recently let him know that he cannot come over anymore because it has been too painful for my children who bottle up everything while he's there then unleash on one another or me as soon as he leaves.
I appreciate the prayers as handling this in a Godly manner at times feels like walking in a minefield.

Sometime during 2007/2008, I dreamed that our family had taken a vacation to California. We came back and my spouse parked on the street instead of in the driveway where we normally parked. The kids and I made several trips unloading the luggage, etc., which was made more difficult because we had to cross the lawn, while my spouse just sat in the driver's seat. I reasoned that my spouse was probably really tired so I didn't make an issue out of it.
We finished and went inside for quite some time when I became concerned because he was still sitting out there. I went out and asked if he was feeling okay and he said that he was. I asked if he was going to be coming in soon and he responded while staring straight ahead: "I'm through with ya'll." I laughed a bit and said "Very funny." He said he wasn't joking continued to just sit there. No explanation was offered. I became upset pointing out that we had just returned from a family trip, we'd had a great time and now out of the blue you're talking in a way that doesn't make sense. I woke up still fussing in my mind until I realized it was just a dream.

Manifestation
In 2010, my children and I had to leave our home under some very difficult circumstances. For the past year, we have had limited interactions with my spouse as I looked for change and have found none. During the summer of 2011, my sons traveled with him to California for a church conference. His demeanor towards me during visits and family activities had been cool before the trip; after the trip it was really frigid, even insulting, especially when I spoke to him about some acting out the children had begun to do. Although he initially claimed he wanted to reconcile, he has refused the counseling prerequisite that was a condition of reconciliation. Then at a church service which my sons (12 &13) attended with him (they don't know our story there), he basically slandered my character during a "testimony" while my sons looked on helplessly and angry but they refrained from shaming him by explaining the real reasons why we left. The Lord let me know that enough is enough and that continuing to have him come over and behave the way he has is hindering the healing process. My kids are always nervous when he's around. I informed him recently that we are not going to be reconciling (as in moving in together) until repentance happens. He was very detached emotionally though he quoted several scriptures at me. As he has done before when he's mad, he stopped calling for about a week, even on our youngest son's birthday which was several days later. My son had to text then call him...
GOD has shown me that although he "WANTS" a family, he doesn't want a FAMILY, i.e., keeping a job, providing, not taking joint resources and hiding them in his own accounts, being kind to his family instead of belittling them...so THE LORD took us back and is caring for us HIMSELF.

And there I was in 2010 thinking that it was the "enemy" that was trying to make me anxious about my marriage situation with that "I'm done with ya'll" dream. Separation can occur long before anyone moves out. I'm still learning....Pray for me.

Hi Daisy and ccov,
Yes, there are several major issues related to one situation that are weighing on my heart. I am determined not to be anxious and I know God knows what we need and where we are; sometimes, however, I feel like I've been dropped off somewhere and have been left hanging. I wonder if Joseph felt like that sometimes while in the Egyptian prison?

Thanks for the reminder of Who is holding us up in our precarious situation.

I didn't know how widespread this problem was until the Lord revealed to me the truth of my own situation. By the time most of us realize what to call it, the damage has been done and the healing process is not an easy one for the adult and children.

Sometimes we are encouraged to practice "tough love" in those situations but only the repentant heart responds to loving correction. A hardened heart will simply try new tactics to regain control of the situation. In those cases, it is so important that fleeing spouses receive support from their church families. Who is going to enter the court room to support that emotionally-scarred mate who's forced to face her abuser in child support battles after she seeks aid from government agencies because financial resources have been stolen in retaliation for the separation? What about when the children who have observed and learned wrong patterns of behavior begin to be abusive towards one another and/or their parent?

It's all well and good that we promise to pray for one another, that's what we are supposed to do. I would add that intercession sometimes requires personal involvement in situations that are not pretty.

I am a homeschool mother of 4 kids ages 12, 13, 14, and 17. None of my children have been in public school and I hope to keep it that way.

Thanks, Daisy!

Thank you, Deborah. That line of thinking has crossed my mind, too. They don't have video games; we don't have a television. As for books, my 17 year old daughter (eldest) is an avid reader, so that's a place to begin...synesthesia is the latest thing I've heard her mention.

I recently had to make the decision not to allow my estranged mate to visit my apartment any longer. Some of the attitudes this person still exhibits is showing up in our children and has led to escalating abusive conduct, usually after some interaction with the other parent. One child recently spat in my face and used profanity, which has never happened before. This took place before the dream...I'm convinced we are experiencing spiritual warfare but I don't want it to be because of door left open, you know?

Dream:
One of my children returned from playing outside and didn't shut door properly. A young man pushed the door further open just as I went to close it. He informed about the door being left open and I thanked him. However he forced his way in and refused to leave uttering a malevolent laugh.
He sat down on the sofa; my phone was near him on a table and he gave me a warning glare when I reached for it. Every time someone moved, he would glare in a threatening way. Finally, I got tired of my children being scared and jumped on the guy and began choking him. My kids then began hitting him wherever they could. Somehow he got free from us then sat down glaring again...
We caught him by surprise somehow again with the choking and hitting. This time he couldn't get free and as his eyes bulged and rolled; he begged us to let him go...i was amazed that he could speak clearly.

I woke up horrified by the dream because I have never physically fought like that in my life and because I wouldn't let go of his throat--felt like I had the strength of many! As I calmed down the account of Jesus casting the demon out of a child after His disciples could not came to immediately to mind.

As I have prayed about this dream, I have been led to several scriptures that follow the theme of restoration accomplished by God's hand. Among them are Is.62:8; Lev.26:3-5; Deut.28; Is.65:23. One year ago, I had to remove myself and my children from a spiritually and physically oppressive situation. Ministerially, we were associated with two affiliated congregations up to that point. After our personal situation changed, the pressure from leadership increased to make me choose one congregation or the other. The Lord said "neither" though we were free to fellowship with them both, but I didn't understand why at the time. Since then, we only hear from them if we call first and even then conversations are stilted and noticeably cool. My children are hurt by the change in atmosphere and we have been seeking God's direction for a church home where we can continue the healing process, further develop and exercise our gifts, and just plain set down some roots.
I am not an interpreter however these thoughts came to me:

I believe the dream shows that our weary journeying will come to an end; that we shouldn't let "church hurt" keep us from trusting God's people because He is going to use them to help us recover and continue serving the Lord as a family; there is a place for us.

Perhaps the Chief represents the Lord; the tribe may be our brethren; the withered crops may indicate the hindrance in growth/use of our spiritual gifts during this time of wandering; the abundant harvest (which was more than we needed for ourselves) perhaps indicates that God's restorative blessings will overflow from our lives to touch and bless others.

I was alone in a house which was perched high up on a mountainside. Someone broke in and I frantically searched for a place to hide. I was trapped in a bedroom with only the balcony as an escape route. I ran out and climbed over the railing but had nowhere to go. So, I climbed underneath and was hanging from the rocky underside by my fingertips while they looked over the railing.
I woke up with my heart racing. It made no sense that was able to hang there for so long with my fingers stuck to the stone-like surface.

I was on a pier with my 4 kids. My youngest son had somehow come to be lying facedown on a pilon several feet away from and below the pier. I was scared because he can't swim and the water was deep.
The pilon was not part of the pier; it seemed old and was leaning over in the water. He was trying to reach something just below the water line. It was a reel and rod and he pulled it up then passed it over his shoulder and up to me.
I grabbed the rod and pulled him up as well. Just as I began to reel in the line and could see a large unbaited hook on it, a huge fish grabbed the hook and tried to swim away. I managed to land it in a surprisingly short period of time considering it turned out be a 6-foot long shark or catfish.
My older son called for me because he had found something on the beach. I turned and saw what appeared to be a beached man-of-war and he picked it up before I could warn him not to touch it. He was not stung; the blob seemed to be just a blob of clear jelly-like substance. However, it was filled with little marine snails with pretty shells and interesting patterns on their bodies. We collected them and I remember attempting to use one for bait.

Have recently been fasting and praying about my family & this dream occurred:

I'm traveling with a group; some of are walking, others riding (horses and/or wagons). We'd traveled for a very long time and were SO weary.
Suddenly, we found ourselves passing a Native American village; we were very nervous because 'someone had heard from someone' that there might be an unfriendly tribe in the area. However, the tribe watched us soundlessly until we were out of sight. (a little child sat on the ground playing with a book of crossword puzzles and some kitchen gadget that seemed out of place.)

We arrived at an abandoned farm. The plants and trees had fruit nearly ready to be harvested but was wilted and dry. We found water nearby and began tiredly watering the crops. Just as the plants began to recover, we ran out of water and the plants withered again. Weak and discouraged we mourned over the loss.

The Indian chief rode up on a horse, looked at us and the crops, then left, saying nothing. We became afraid thinking that they were going to come back and harm us while we were weak and defenseless. But we were literally dying of thirst and too weak to leave.

He soon came back with 2 or 3 other male tribal members also on horseback, again no one spoke. He raised his right hand and signaled and it seemed that the whole tribe emerged from the forest. They passed us silently and headed into the fields. That's when i notice that they carried baskets and buckets of water. They water every plant and as they did the fruit on the plant would ripen immediately. They then harvested everything and gathered it into the farmhouse and outbuildings. Then they set the buckets of extra water near us. Afterwards they looked at the Chief who then signaled again and they disappeared once again back into the forest.

Emotions during dream (in order): Tired, weary, afraid, hopeful, purposeful, discouraged, despairing, fearful, surprised, confused-thankful-relieved.
I have an idea what this is about but I believe that there is wisdom in a multitude of counsel. Please help if you can. Thank you so much.
-Juanita

Hello everyone! My name is Juanita and I was a member of the previous site. Taken me several years to get back on but it's great to be back.

God bless!