What happens to the husband and wife ministry?

[Virtuous 0]

Has anyone ever thought about what happens to the ministry of the husband and wife if married to the wrong person? I mean, say for instance; I get married to a man who is not the man God chose for me. The ministry He purposed for our lives - What will happen with it?

A dream I had prompted me to start this thread along with the posts that are in my other thread titled, "Knowing your husband/wife beforehand". In the dream, I got married and immediately felt like I had married the wrong man. One of the thoughts that came to me in the dream was, "Oh, my God. What's going to happen to me and my husband's (the one God has chosen - not the one I married) ministry?" I was really bothered by it in my dream. I was disappointed that maybe I had really messed up the ministry that will come forth after my husband and I are joined together. We all know marriage is a ministry, right?

Let's discuss...

[Cholette 0]

Well, here are my thoughts on this. We need to give God a little more credit for knowing ALL things...even before the foundation of this world was created. I believe he already knows the wrong or right decisions we will make and has a plan for it. Just like it says in Romans 8...ALL THINGS work together for the good to those who love the Lord and who are CALLED according to HIS PURPOSE.

I love your question because I thought about my future guy and how he made a mistake and married this lady. In my dream she was wearing a wig, which insinuated she was not the real deal. He has ministry all in him and ministers all the time. I think his ministry was stunted in a way because she could not help him at the level that I will be able to. He has a youth ministry and as of late, I have been asked to work with the youth. I love them, but my flesh gets in the way because they can get on your nerves too... I believe this is God's way of preparing me for that. I haven't accepted the offer yet because I was just asked today, but we will see because I'm not sure if I will be staying at this church.

God can still get the glory once married to the wrong person, but I do believe that the ministry cannot be GOD'S BEST if we take the "lower road" and marry the wrong person. I have more to say about this, but I have to go...I will be back.

[Virtuous 0]

Yea, you're right. I was listening to a teaching cd from one of my favorite televangelist and he was speaking along those same lines (in so many words). He was saying that God's purpose never changes but sometimes His direction and instructions do. He went on to say that our actions to things will cause God's direction and instructions to change in order for His purpose to remain the same.

I never thought of it as to apply Romans 8 to it though. I was so wrapped up in wondering what would happen to my minisry - our ministry if I married the wrong man. I just don't want to marry the wrong person.

God can still get the glory once married to the wrong person, but I do believe that the ministry cannot be GOD'S BEST if we take the "lower road" and marry the wrong person.

I like the way you brought that out! It makes a lot of sense. Let's just hope and pray I HEAR from God concerning my husband.

[sunshine2 0]

Virtuous....

My heart reaches out for you as I read these posts. I feel like the dream that you had of almost marrying the wrong man could be from some things you are worried about rather than a warning from God. Let me just say one thing. In MY experience the people who are sooo concerned about doing God's will are NOT going to miss it! The fact that you are so concious of it means to me that you are going to seek God on it fervently. I love this quote and I think it will minister to you to. "We need to believe that God's goodness to guide us is bigger than the devil's ability to deceive us." So, don't be anxious. Begin thanking God that He is going to lead you to the right one ahead of time!! Get that complete trust and dependence on Him deep in your heart.
Philippians 4:6-7
When you let your requests be made known to God and then thank Him for what He is going to do that is what brings the peace that passes understanding! Don't pray for Him to make it clear to you and then worry whether He will do it or not. I PROMISE He is big enough to do it! He is a big God! Just rest in Him and trust in His ability to guide you and you will be right in the center of His will!

[Virtuous 0]

Thanks sunshine2! Oh, my God!

In my dream, I did marry the wrong man. Here's the dream:

The man and I had just gotten married. We were walking and I kind of made a little gesture towards him (to test if he really loved me or not - I wrapped my arms around him from behind and kissed him on his neck). His reaction to my gesture made me think to myself, "He really does love me". Next we were in this building and we were talking to a few people. We were sitting across from each other in chairs. We were asked what are future plans were going to be now that we were married. He said something to the effect of us having children and starting a family (at this point I want to say he turned into a she). I was like, "Oh, my God. I married the wrong person. I don't want anymore kids. Lord, I didn't even talk to Pastor about getting married. What's going to happen to our ministry together? For some reason I felt as if we were about to get a divorce and needless to say I was soooo relieved that we hadn't had sex yet.

In MY experience the people who are sooo concerned about doing God's will are NOT going to miss it

My mentor keeps asking me why I think I'm going to miss it and I don't have a clue why I think that way. I've made so many mistakes that I just don't want to make any more.

[sunshine2 0]

Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you!!

You may feel anxious, but God's word is true. You are his sheep and He is the shepherd and His sheep know His voice. Meditate on the truth and I bet you anything all the worry will begin to fade.

[Virtuous 0]

There it is again. God you are just amazing!!!!

You guys are the best! You all are repeating everything I listened to last week on cd's and during our revival at church!

Wow!...Talk about confirmation!!!!

[Cholette 0]

"We need to believe that God's goodness to guide us is bigger than the devil's ability to deceive us."

Girl...I have to memorize this...I've never heard this before...thank you Jesus for reminding us that we need to focus MORE on your goodness instead of the enemy!!!!!!!

Thank's Sunshine2 for saying this...it made my day!

[sunshine2 0]

Hey, you're welcome Cholette! I love it, it just puts it all in perspective

[Cholette 0]

This is something else that I was wondering...How many husbands and wives that we see in ministry are actually married to the "right" person? Could all of these people who are linked up together and operating in ministry be designed to be together? Or is that God making a thing work?

It makes you think. I bet if you ask them they would say that God put them together...but I would like to run into someone who would admit that they made the decison outside of God.

I will go a step further...there are people who got married BEFORE they came to God...did God put them together? Or did his instructions and directions change for them based on their decision to be married?

Just a little something to think about.

[Virtuous 0]

Wow, Cholette. Those are things that make you say, !

I have absolutely no clue as to how to even fanthom up an answer to these questions. I'm speechless. I wonder the same thing though about a few couples who were married before either of them were saved. Now, the wives are saved and the husbands aren't.

Ooh, Cholette...your inquiries have sparked way more curiosity than I thought would ever come out of this thread... :crazy:

[Virtuous 0]

Another thing...
A friend of mine called me, just this morning, and asked what I thought about a person being married for ten years to a man and then recently telling her husband she wants a divorce. Reason being?


She has realized that she's been in love with her "soul-mate" the entire time. She is leaving her husband to marry her "soul-mate".

[Cholette 0]

See, that right there isn't fair. How is she going to leave someone she has been married to in order to marry who SHE calls her soul mate? She is going to need much prayer. Of course I don't know the particulars of her current marriage however I don't see how the next marriage would be satisfying when she left the other one. That's just me talking...I'm normally not a judgemental person, but some thangs just need to be said.

Yes, the questions that I proposed had me going too...that's why I posted them. This topic is "huger" than we think!!

[sunshine2 0]

OK, I feel a need to tell my parent's story here. Maybe this will help.

My mom started dating my to-be stepdad when I was 4. He was unsaved and she was backslidden. They got married when I was 5 and soon after my step dad decided to start attending church. He had not been in church since he was 17 and he was probably 32 at the time. He ended up getting saved soon after and my mom my renewed her relationship with the Lord. From that time ON they both served the Lord until the day he died in 2002. They were pastors and missionaries in their life and lived full heartedly for the Lord.

What I think is that sometimes as Christians we lose our grasp on how the Lord intervenes in the lives of those who aren't saved yet or aren't living for Him. Like we think we're the only ones whose lives He has a say in. I believe that God is at work in every person's life on earth trying to guide them into relationship with Him. Does the fact that my parents weren't living for Him when they got married mean that they have to get divorced to make sure they got the "right one"?? I don't think so. What really matters is that they had a pure love for each other and then once they got saved that love became stronger because they had Jesus in their love. I hate to say it, but I think we can really over complicate things sometimes. I think if you are married to a physically abusive or verbally abusive man then those are the times that yes, you need to consider a way to get out and protect yourself. I don't believe in wives being martyrs by keeping themselves in abusive relationships. That said, I think that God's word is true and that when He says that He will cause ALL things to work together for good then He means it.

[Cholette 0]

Thanks Sunshine2 for sharing your story.

I don't believe we were saying that God can't intervene in the life of the unsaved person or that He's constantly at work drawing them to him. The question had to do with ministry and what happens to a couple that gets together before Christ. You stated what we are all in agreement with that God works everything out for the good however we were coming from an angle that the original question that Virtuous was asking about what happens to the husband and wife ministry when someone marries outside of the will of God. We all know that there is a perfect will of God and that He gives us choice and we have the perogative to marry whoever we want however marrying whomever has a price to it so what happens to the ministry?

Your point is well taken and correct its just I don't want you to think that we are not giving God due justice in this matter.

[Virtuous 0]

sunshine2, I think you misunderstood our comments. There is no way I (we) meant a couple who are married before being saved should get divorced afterwards. That's totally off-base and I'm sorry if that's how you interpreted our post.

I have a co-worker who has a story just like your parents. She was saved...backslid...met her husband...they got married and now they both are saved. She told me she believes if she had not backslid, she would have never met and married her husband.

I think in one of Cholette's earlier posts on this thread; she mentioned the same thing about how things are done in our human efforts but she honestly belives that God works ALL things...wait here is her exact post -

Well, here are my thoughts on this. We need to give God a little more credit for knowing ALL things...even before the foundation of this world was created. I believe he already knows the wrong or right decisions we will make and has a plan for it. Just like it says in Romans 8...ALL THINGS work together for the good to those who love the Lord and who are CALLED according to HIS PURPOSE.

We are just brainstorming and thinking about things that may seem as if we're the only person who have these thoughts but in all actuality, we are NOT alone in thinking certain ways. Just plain and simple fellowship...not to make things complicated...just fellowship.

[sunshine2 0]

Virtuous, ok thanks. I wasn't trying to personally make a statement about you I guess I was just say "christians" in general.

I guess I am just really thrown off by the concept of changing ministries or missing ministries because what my marriage has been about has not been about ministry at all. I am actually just stepping into ministry right now for really the first time but it's something that just involves me, doesn't involve my husband. I guess I come from a place where I believe that I am responsible for my relationship with God. The person I married was very much on fire for God when we married and then in the past few years has gone through times of wondering what he really believes and not living a righteous lifestyle at all. So, no matter what choices he was making I was still responsible to do what God had put before "me" to do. Just because you're married, and even married to the right person, doesn't always mean that you're going to have a partner in everything you do for/in God. It blows my mind. I never could have imagined when we met/got married that life would be like this. But, I have not doubted that God put us together. Even though our life didn't exactly play out as I thought it would I know that this was God's person for me. Sometimes when life is really hard like that that's when true faithfulness is tested and tried. Things have calmed down and are a bit better now, but I'm still pretty much on my own when it comes to being excited about God. And you know what, God knew that from the beginning, that that was going to happen. Do I believe it will stay that way? No. But loving someone means loving them through every part of their life and sometimes is looks "picture perfect" and sometimes it just doesn't. All I know is that God is faithful and He will never break His promises to me. Even in the darkest of times I never doubted His love and faithfulness towards me. And that's priceless.

[Virtuous 0]

I guess it's different for everybody. There are some marriages that work hand in hand in ministry and then there are some that don't. I think my husband and my ministries will work hand in hand. I have a cousin, and if I didn't know better, I'd think you were her by your last post. She said she knew (know even to this day) that it was God who put her and her husband together. She said she didn't even like him when they met even though he pursued her. She said it wasn't until she saw him ministering to the youth group that she fell in love. She said she fell in love with his spirit..with his love and passion for God. Now, she's still on fire for the Lord and he's not. But she loves him and prays for him all the more. No one knows the trials we'll have to face in any decision we make and even those we don't make for ourselves. But just as you said...God is not going to break any promises he's made to any of us. He is faithful and just and He will not lie. He promises us household salvation.

Just like you, she is still responsible for what God has called and chosen her to do. Just like you, I am still responsible for what God has called and chosen me to do regardless of what is going on or not going on in my life. I will tell you one thing, though. I went through something for an entire year-last year as a matter of fact. It was painful, lonely, and just plain out undescribable to say the least. God hasn't released me to go into full detail about it but I feel enough release from within to share with you that God is about to do a new thing in marriages. I can see it unfolding in my own church family. You just keep holding on and standing in the gap for your husband...you'll see!!!!

[sunshine2 0]

Virtuous, ok good. I wanted you to really hear what I was saying and my heart behind it. I do believe with my whole heart that my husband and I will be in ministry together in the future. THAT is one of HIs promises to me! I guess I was just trying to show a different scenario where the husband and wife don't just start off in ministry right from the start but have to go through trials and training just to get to the point where they can minister together. I know we will be in the future, I just don't know how far in the future. But that's ok. Like I said, through the past trial I have grown so much closer and more intimate with Jesus that I can look at all the pain and tears and hurt and count it all joy because of the love and relationship that I found with Him. :)