im so embarresed

[Delightful soul 0]

Hi peoples,

I just want to ask someone's advice ....

yesterday when I went to church, I was convinced that one of the congregation members was the man who I have been dreaming about since I was a teen. I ran into him recently.

I was so excited but confused, i thought to myself, "he wouldn't be in church, as he hates God" then the more i looked the more it looked like him ...(i could only see the back of him).......I must have looked so silly as I kept looking to see more of him, his movements and mannerisms, they all seemed to be like him!!!!


So I waited till church finished to see him as he got up.........and it wasn't him.


I was so embarressed, then disheartened then just plain depressed........


I went to the toilet and had a little cry, i was so excited at the thought that it could be him and at the same time felt stupid as he did not recognise me, (and if it had been him, he would've noticed me), I cried to God as I thought so many things.

Like, for starters, am I just hoping for someone to be saved when they simpley are so rebellious that they won't turn. Then I thought if that man had have been him, how would I react to the fact it has been soooo long since we were friends???


I was so upset over this -thinking it was him when it wasn't.......sometimes I feel as though this hoping for my first love to come to the Lord is all a farce.........it has been 20 years and I said to God, "I can still believe for him to come to you, but I think i have to give up the hope that he is the one meant for me"........

It's soo hard and sometimes i think it is crazy to hope for someone to come to God and me, when people have free wills.......and I could be allowing opportunities for lovely men in God to pass me by????


Man I'm so disapointed, it's like that scripture, "hope deferred makes the heart sick"., that's how I felt yesterday and today..........

[Dove-Solutions 0]

DS,

Don' be embarassed. People have mistaken identity all the time. I have so been there. Your man is coming....God gave u the vision of it. Believe in it and stand on it. He is not one that would lie.

[Dove-Solutions 0]

One more thing to add. My hubby was born in Cambodia. I was in California in 1975 during the fall of Pham Penn. My hubby was in the group of refuge's that came from Pham Penn. We did not meet at the time but we met in 1993 some 18 years later. You never know what God is doing behind the scenes. I must say that had I met him then I would not have been happy. Now I am elated.....he was worth the wait.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Delightful soul 0]

Awwwww thanku Iwill tell you more but prssed for time. Thanks for replying!

[Delightful soul 0]

I guess I felt that perhaps God was testing me to see how I would react if I actually saw him.

THe church I go to has a ministry in an area in which he needs ministry and so am believing that one day, he may turn up to our church, when God reaches him.

You are right to say to hold onto my vision, it was just so disappointing the other day. But I am fine now, got my faith legs back.
I have been asked to do some volunteer work in this area of ministry and am so excited and feel priveleged to have been asked.

I feel like one day it will be him who walks in the door of the ministry and He will find the Lord as so many people have done through this ministry.

Anyhow, thankyou for giving me hope. God will make a way, where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see.

Thanks

[Dove-Solutions 0]

God bless! I will keep it in my prayers.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[Virtuous 0]

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I promise you I do! DISAPPOINTED & HURT is how I would always feel. Every time a situation where I thought he was coming 2 church because he said he would but he never showed it would crush my spirit. Like you, I wanted 2 give up.

One day after a situaion came up and I was feeling disappointed, God asked, "Do you want him saved for you because you want 2 marry him or do you want him saved for me because I love him?" THAT was a real eye-opener for me.

You see, I had to check my motives. Just in case you're wondering, I had to admit my fault and I answered God, "Yes, Lord. Please forgive me." I didn't realize I was doing that but I had been praying a selfish prayer for his salvation. I told God to give me a prayer & a scripture for him because I want to pray His wll for his life. I know this man is an assignment for me but I don't want me to get in the way with what God wants to do in his life. God gave me a specific prayer & scripture for him & that's ALL I pray for him...nothing else.

I'm not saying you're doing what I did, but my experience came up in my spirit as I read ur post. It got stronger when I reached where you said you told God "I can still believe for him to come to you, but I think I have to give up the hope that he is the one meant for me." I can't even count the number of times I've said this.

Be encouraged and know IT DOES GET BETTER...TRUST ME, I KNOW! I can say JOY IS HERE BECAUSE THE MORNING HAS COME! I'M IN BETTER DAYS!!! He's still not saved but because I only pray what God told/tells me to pray for him I don't get disappointed & I let God be God whether we're meant to be together or not. God has promised me a husband & rest in that & keep moving forward with MY walk, MY relationshi with Him! Amen?

[Delightful soul 0]

wow virtuous that is sooo powerful and yes, God has shown me the same thing.

He truly is God and I have to have a right heart attitude about this man.

I still believe if he were to come to God he would still be in a free will situation with me and it would be his decision as to whether or not he was in a place to choose me or the mother of his children.....

I can't escape the feeling I have had when I have been around him and feel he is the one, but ultimately we are products of our choices and i know God is a God of miracles, but i know this experience taught me that I was still looking for him to be saved just for me, not because God wants him more than I do.

WE can be selfish most of the time as humans but the call is to be perfect, amen and so I want to want him for the kingdom, and pray that no matter what happens, that he doesn't go to hell for noone wants to be there, and it aint no party.

selah