Me and Whitney

[stevefgomez 0]

Pray for me and Whitney. Whitney blocked my email. I don't feel I did anything worth doing that. But I understand where she is at too. I've blocked people before because I felt pressured by them and when I get pressured in the past I over reacted. I'm learning to not be that way and deal with things in a more healthy way. I regretted later cutting that person off and contacted them an apologized months later. The reason I want prayer for us is because of last night's dream. I prayed to God again for like the 11th or 12th time in 2 weeks to know His will about us. So far though we're out of touch these last 2 weeks now, I've dreamed of me and young woman and a wedding being prepped for the big day. I had seen a couple I did a wedding video for in real life in that dream. I saw myself with a young woman in that dream. I see all kinds of relationship dreams in response to my prayers. The thing is I'd decided between me and God I wouldn't mind a relationship in the long term with her. Well often my dreams come true but I never know which is real or just symbolic of my feelings etc. But last night again I dreamed two things. I saw myself take time alone to pray. So this morning I took extra time to pray just about her and will continue to pray about her. But also I saw something I do. I used to ask God more for signs and often I'd open to the passage of scripture I'd ask to open the bible too as a fleece. I used to get answers that way but lately no. So I'm having to learn to go on faith, not signs from God. That's fine. But in the dream I saw myself open in one bible to the last chapter of the book of Ruth. Then I took another Bible and also by chance it opened to the last chapter of the Book of Ruth. That is where Boaz who is older, marries younger Ruth. Now I'm 37 and she's 23. So do you see the symbolism there?

I want prayer for both of us. I just pray every day and have faith some how God will work things out. We both have our issues. We've both been heavily abused. I like this young woman. She's extremely busy though. She didn't have time for me. I live in TX, she in Missouri. She's studying to be a nurse, has 24 credit hours in school, which is insane. And she has a 5 year old daughter. I was hanging on to this hope for someone else long gone when I met her. She too was 23. I feel God brought her to help me let go of this other person and to get to know her. But she was so stressed and I moved too fast. I was unemployed too. I have a new job now. I have a new church. So I was kinda wanting a bunch of time she didn't have.

Its the dream that spurns me to ask for prayer. One dream where I prayed for God's will I saw my talking to a young woman on the phone. I was on break at work and in a call center. I just got hired at a call center. I think its her. I think she'll come back. In that dream I saw a bunch of people and everyone got what they wanted in a game played by a magician. I'm trusting I'll get what I wish too. I pray I have the heart she needs from me. Sorry so long but I felt like sharing the why part of this request.

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Not long at all! I will stand in agreement with you.

Love in Jesus,

Connie

[stevefgomez 0]

Thanks....- Steve

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Anytime!

[Cholette 0]

Hi Steve...

This is one of those dreams and situtions where you need to "Be still and KNOW that He is God". As you are well aware, God is NOT on our time schedule. He doesn't do things to "suit" us, but to bring GLORY to HIS NAME and to bring about purpose.

I am one who KNOWS who my mate is...and I've known for over 19 years now. I've spent the past 19 years of my life interpreting dreams regarding this person, however not until NOW do I see why I needed to wait this length of time. There were things that God showed me about, earlier on, that were going to happen. There were events that took place in his life (as well as mine) that had to happen for the good and purpose of our lives. He was married and now divorced...he's gone through the pain of severed friendships and bad business deals. Through all of that, God has matured him. I have my own long list of things I've been through and not until now, I can see God's hand in it all. He didn't cause it, but He used it and now I'm the better...He's the better for it.

I'm not saying you have to wait as long as I did...majority of people don't. What I am saying is allow this time of separation to grow. It sounds to me that you want her "really bad" and in your zeal for this relationship, you may have run her away. Let God do it!! If He is bringing the two of you together, then let Him do it in HIS timing. This season will either cause the two of you to connect even more, or you will draw further apart...but something WILL come out of it. You have to take into consideration the age difference. I'm all for gaps in ages when God is in it, but naturally speaking you are light years ahead of her. In your 20's, there is a different mindset than in your 30's. She could be mature, but naturally speaking, there is a difference.

My point is, LET GOD DO THIS! Whatever HE does...LASTS!! It's eternal! You definately need to trust the Words that you believe He's given you regarding this woman, beyond what you are see and what you are experiencing. God CANNOT lie!!!

Blessings

for you...

[stevefgomez 0]

Thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate your prayers. I can see in my life God has always done things to bring the people I pray to me. Just because I'm 37 does not mean I'm light year ahead of her. I've never married ever, I'm a virgin and I've never even been kissed by a woman in a relationship. I've endured a lot of suffering and trials to "grow up" because I've been with family the majority of my life. I had my own place and had to live with family again due to joblessness. Now I'm working again. But I am ahead in some areas like my desire to settle down and have companionship. All my life I've never let God do things. I've always tried to fix the problem. So this time for the first time I've decided to actually let her go and only pray. Just like you said, to let God do it. It's the one thing I never do and what I have to do. I had a dream a few weeks before I met her where I was listening to relationship series. I saw communion in church too. I wasn't in church, jobless and decided to start going to church again. So now I go to church. That's better. I have a job now, that's better. I'm listening to a christian relationship show and reading the books they recommend. I'm learning to communicate. That's getting better, slowly. I think our timing was bad. she's super busy and later when she's done with school....well that's for God to decide. So I'm gonna let God do this. Its hard and goes against my head sense but I think its the best choice because I know I can't make this happen. Fill in the blank, it could any person God ever brought me. This time I wait and just pray.

[Cholette 0]

stevefgomez wrote:

But I am ahead in some areas like my desire to settle down and have companionship.

This was my point...nothing more...nothing less.

[stevefgomez 0]

I do want to make one thing clear to all. When I ask for prayer its a neutral request. I am simply asking you to pray, not give a bunch of advice. While the advice given agrees with what I personally decided to do prior to the advice, I usually find most people's advice contradicts and everyone is simply giving their opinion. And the thing about opinions is everyone has one. I'd already decided to wait and only pray before all this. I am simply asking prayer. That's all. When someone asks me for prayer I do just that. I pray. I don't go interjecting my views because 1. I don't know you. 2. You don't know me. 3. So how can you be sure what you say is for me? Unless its a direct word from God?

[Cholette 0]

stevefgomez wrote:

I do want to make one thing clear to all. When I ask for prayer its a neutral request. I am simply asking you to pray, not give a bunch of advice. While the advice given agrees with what I personally decided to do prior to the advice, I usually find most people's advice contradicts and everyone is simply giving their opinion. And the thing about opinions is everyone has one. I'd already decided to wait and only pray before all this. I am simply asking prayer. That's all. When someone asks me for prayer I do just that. I pray. I don't go interjecting my views because 1. I don't know you. 2. You don't know me. 3. So how can you be sure what you say is for me? Unless its a direct word from God?

I HAVE been praying, but I say what is on my heart to say and I will not go against that because I will not be disobedient. When I pray, things come up to say and THATS what I share. I'm sorry that you are offended, but I will do and say what God tells me to... I will do my best to bypass your posts because I do not want you to be offended...

Blessings...

[Aemilk 0]

Hi Steve

I will stand in agreement with you, and as you are praying ask God to confirm HIS choice for you and know you are not alone read and speak the scriptures outloud over your life God loves you and those who believe will not be put to shame.

Be an overcomer!

[stevefgomez 0]

To Cholette. Thank you for praying. Any prayers for me are not against me. I would not call it offense but defense in my last email. I do appreciate yours and everyone else's prayers. My defensiveness is with good reason from my past. I feel a strong need to defend my ability to think and choose for myself as well as protect myself from the advice of most Christians. The reason is because I was raised by a family that essentially made all my decisions for me. Through several years of painful painful hardships including loss of my health, wealth and friends I had to learn to make my own choices and deal with life in general. My family shielded me from my life and their advice has been very very bad to my life. I no longer head them and defend my choices strongly because they all have an opinion and think they know best when what they've always said blows up in my face. I seek only one person for my choices and that is God. I used to throw out many fleeces but he no rarely give them to me now. That was what I saw in my dream, a symbol of a fleece in opening to the Bible twice. It was my way of letting God choose for me. Now I'm learning to choose by faith alone and not by what I see Him do. I'm in a vulnerable place there.

Also I was in a very controlling church network for ten years. Because of some strange events in my life, including my healing and more they told me I was deceived and "the devil does miracles too." My best friend, also a lead deacon said these things to me. It was over a relationship. You see this church had authority to confirm who was and not meant to be together in God's will. You were to approach a leader and tell them who you were interested in. They went to the person you were interested in on your behalf. They would not say on whose behalf they came. They would ask the woman if God had put any one on their heart? If she said you then it was God's will you two were to be in a relationship since God put it on both of your hearts. If she said another person or no one at all then it was determined to not be God's will. They once arrested a woman I was interested in telling me she was not the one for me. They said she was demon posessed or influenced. They destroyed another relationship of mine by their influence and advice. So I am cautious of anyone I listen to today and protect myself. You mean well, but whether you meant it or not, when something comes across as TELLING me (in bold letters) what to do and especially when I don't know you, it makes me feel rather defensive. So thank you for praying for me. I will continue to wait, but because its my choice and seems the best thing to do. That's why I'm leaving her alone. Because chasing her puts her on the defensive. Chasing or pressuring me puts me on the defensive. So I'm expressing how it makes me feel rather than be defensive. Because that's what I need to do. Her I will not chase so she can choose for her own self. Thanks to all who pray. I'm leave this post be now.

[Daisy 0]

I am sorry for your hard experiences stevefgomez. I can relate a bit to your posting about the controlling/manipulative religious enviroment. I will be praying for your complete healing and restoration so that you can be a huge asset to any relationship the Lord brings your way at all times!!!