Sirianta

Linda that's a great idea! Cause God is opening my eyes to stuff and sharing so much lately and I know I must share this with others! God bless you xxx

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I really appreciate it. I am so excited about this journey that God is giving me! About a month ago a certain christian magazine asked their readers to send them a story about something in their life which they trusted God and where God answered their prayer. I wrote them a story and it is going to get published!! I never thought I would ever get such a chance where people could read how God works in my life. I wrote the story 'cause I wanted to give hope to people and remind them how important it is to trust in God. I just want to glorify His name and help others who gave up hope! God bless you all!

Hey guys, lately I have this burning desire to write a book about God or Jesus. Why? Because everytime I pray to God I start crying 'cause it saddens me that there are people who are christians but doesn't know God and doesn't realise how lovable He really is. I feel so much sorrow for God because He has send His son, His child to die for us. Now that's love!! None of us would be able to do that. I just want people to realise how much God loves them. It also saddens me that people can say such bad stuff about God when God created them and gave them this life!! This is really a passion of mine. I've had 3 dreams about this book the last three nights. The first one was where I was busy writing and I received one word: "GOD" then I knew I should write a book about God and who He really is. The second dream was where I was at a formal function which was for authors and I received an award for this book. Now, I don't want to write this book to receive anythig out of it. I just want to tell people about God and who He really is. The third dream was where I was writing again and I was told that I'm not allowed to copy any words from another writer's book, not even one word. I just need prayer because I've never written a book before and I still need to learn a lot! But I do trust God and I know this is what He wants me to do to glorify His name! This is just a little bit that I can do for everything He has done for me. Love in Christ Sirianta

Hey Jasmin, I've lend the book to a friend of mine, but as soon as I've got it back I'll put something on here! Xxx

Hey Deb, I agree with you about the argueing part and it is also not in my nature to argue with people. I've told him that I can only tell him about my personal experience with the love of the Lord. If he would try to proof me wrong I would simply leave it at that and not get into an argument and just pray that God will show His love to him. I will simply just tell him my testimonies and try telling him how much God loves him. I need prayer 'cause I know the enemy might want to stand in my way. Love in Christ

Hey guys I need someone to pray with me. A while ago I accepted a guy's friend request on Facebook. I didn't really know the guy but he is friends with one of my friends. I soon realised that he doesn't believe in the bible and thinks that the bible is misleading and not the truth!! Yesterday I wanted to delete him as a friend because of all the stuff he said on Facebook about people being misled by the bible etc. but I did not get a chance to do so. Then this morning I said on facebook that I'm reading a book "My time in heaven" and that it is such a blessing and it helps you understand the Bigger picture. He then asked me just now "do I really think that I understand the Bigger picture and that he has been trying for years to put together the pieces of the puzzle but that someone destroyed all the pieces that he tried putting together." I really feel that for a reason I didn't delete him yesterday. It feels to me that God wants him on the right path. You guys I'm not a preacher or someone who knows the bible from the inside and out, but I do have a personal relationship with Jesus and love Him dearly. I just want to help him to believe in Jesus and I want to say the right things to him. He is really huge in what he believes. Looks like this is all he does, researching his believe. He also has his own Youtube page or something with videos and stuff about people being deceived. It feels like I'm up against a giant, but I know with the help of Jesus I can overcome any giant and lead the giant to God. Please pray with me, 'cause I just have this feeling that me and him are still going to have a lot of conversations Love in Christ S

Exactly how I feel Deborah. I want to go HOME!!! They only reason we are here on earth is to lead people to Christ and to worship God. My life feels so small now that I'm reading this book. And there is stuff that he is talking about in the book which I've dreamt about and that makes me believe that he is telling the truth and of course the Holy Spirit convinced me too. You must read it!! HAPPY READING!

Hey guys!! I'm reading a book ............. It's about him being in an accident and he was declared dead for something like 8 hours. In that time he was taken to heaven. You have to read this!!!!!!!!!!!! It's one of the best books I've ever read and helps you understand the BIGGER picture. The book is so Holy Spirit filled and a true blessing! I really understand now how important it is to lead people to Christ who doesn't believe in Him. I've read quite a number of books like this which was all good BUT THIS ONE is something else!!! I'm so excited about this book and it really helps me to move closer to God and understand stuff better. I don't really have words to describe the feeling that is inside of me. What is amazing is the presence and love of God you feel when reading this story. I know it is not the bible and no book can top the Word of God, but just want you guys to know that if you read this mans story you will surely be blessed!!! Love in Christ S

Hey guys, I am so sorry that I've been so quiet for so long. It is going well with me and my hubby. He is much more relaxed than he used to be and his abusive ways are something of the past. God is really great!!! I just feel that I should keep on praying for him, 'cause the enemy never sleeps. I want to thank you all for all the support that you gave me during this tough time for me and I know that we've still got a long way to go, but I also know that God is with us on this road. Long ago a pastor gave prophetic word to me and my husband that God is going to bless us so much and that I'm prophetic and my husband is an APOSTLE!! I'm holding on to that word. It was from God and it shows me that God has big plans for my husband. I'm still praying for his salvation and trust in God!! LOTSA LOVE S

Hi, me again. You guys this is really tough. The last week I could really see that my husband tried his best, but this weekend we had his works' yearend function at a holiday resort. Yesterday my little boy got a little difficult because he was very tired after swimming the whole day and just being bussy like little children are. So my husband lost it completely, he grabbed him and put him over his legs and gave him one huge hit on the behind. Everyone was quiet and it was such an imbarrasing moment in front of all the people. About 3 hours there was still a hand mark on my sons bum. Even my husbands boss told him this morning that it was really not necessary. Then when we came back today while driving in our car my husband realised that he doesn't know where his wallet is. He asked me in an accusing irritated tone where his wallet was and I only said to him "how should I know?", cause I didn't use it. He lost it completely and swore at me again shouting all the way home. I told him that he will not speak like that anymore, I will not tollerate it anymore. He went ballistic!!! He drove like a maniac! The kids wasn't strapped in their seatbelts 'cause we first dropped of friends of ours that just lives around the corner of us. So we didn't strap them again. He drove so wild that my little girl fell backward and hit her head. She had one of those princess crowns on which hurt her haid when she bumped it. She started crying. Then he shouted at me and said that I shouldn't accuse him 'cause she got hurt it's my fault because they are not wearing their seatbelts. Then on purpose he took the following turn like a maniac again and my little girl fell backwards again!!!!! He is crazy! How could he do it a second time on purpose?! Then when we were at our hose he told me"you are gonna get out of the car and I'm gonna take you and" he didn't finish his sentence. Which I know was a threat. He then got out and started to hit the car seat. When he got out my little boy asked me "mommy is daddy naughty?" This broke my heart and after what happened to my little girl and his threat towards me I know I have to leave him. For the first time now I realise that the situation is really getting dangerous. Inside the house he told me that I have to make my decision, that he knows I'm just looking for an excuse to leave him! The whole time he wants to make me the guilty one! I asked him if he will go see the docter at the end of the month when we've got enough money so that he can get medication to calm him like we've discussed and he just ignored me. I feel so down because after our last talk I've told you about I had so much hope. Now all of that is shattered because I will not put the children through this. They have suffered enough and I had enough of his manipulative ugly ways! Last night I had a dream where I was dropping off my children at school. For some reason I went back to give them another hug and kiss before leaving for work and I was crying. I felt so much love for my children like just a mother could, but in my dream I was very emotional. I searched for my little boy and was scared that I won't be able to find him before school started. Then his teacher came to me and gave me prophetic word saying: that God is going to bless me so much. I was crying a lot, but felt happy because of the word she gave me then I was looking for my son again and a second time she called me and said that God is going to bless me so much, especially in my work (career). I was very happy and felt so special, but still emotional and then she showed me where my son was and I went to him to give him a hug and kiss. I don't know why God would give me this dream especially the night before all the drama went on today with my husband. Just wish there was someone who me and the kids could stay with in town but there really isn't anybody. My mom and his parents stays in another town. I have a good job that pays well, but it won't be enough for me and the children. Maybe God wanted to tell me that if I do leave my husband I will have nothing to worry about financially 'cause he will bless me. Please just pray for me and the children especially for our safety. Thank you so much for all the prayers that we've received over this period. Really appreciate it guys. May God keep me and the children safe and may GOd bless all of you. Love in Christ Sirianta

Hey guys, first of all thank you so much for each prayer that went up to our Father. Well, I told him everything that was on my heart and to my surprise he was very calm and understanding. He even admitted that he has anger issues and that he will go to the chemist to get some medication. I told him that I rather think he should go see a doctor who can give him a subscription for something that would really help. He agreed to that. I am so glad and hope that things will just get better for both of us. It just feels like God doesn't want me to leave him, that God has a plan for our marriage. THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE PRAYERS!!!! LOTS A HUGS SIRIANTA

Thank you guys!!

Thanks Connie, really appreciate it. I'm so nervous. Don't know what to expect. HUGS S

Heya, me again. Guys I'm going to talk to my husband tonight about all of this and tell him that if he doesn't consider getting help I will be forced to leave him. I can not go on another day like this. Today was just too much for me, was crying the whole day and very depressed. Please just pray for me and tha my husband won't loose it tonight. I hope is will be calm when I speak to him. Lots a love Sirianta

Hey DS, thanks for you interp of the dream. I think you are very much correct about a lot of stuff. The frog part where my husband takes the frog and feed it to the other evil creature may also mean that satan feeds on my fear. Like if you feed something it gets bigger. The more I fear, the worse the situation will get. Don't know, that just came to mind. And like you said the evil creature looking innocent could resemble a situation I'm in that is more dangerous than I believe it to be. Thanks again for you help Sirianta

Last night God reminded me of this dream I had a while back. I posted the dream under "Dreams and Visions to be interpreted" a while back. What is striking to me is that the first house in the dream is my childhood home (me, my brother and mother stayed in that house) and the second part of the dream where me, my little girl and my husbands boss' little girl is driving around also got my attention, because the house that we are living in now is in the street that I dreamt of. In the dream it was raining while I was driving around and IRL when me and my two children went to look at this house it was also raining. I dreamt of our new house quite a while back and we moved to our house 5 months back. Since we moved to that house things really got rough with my husband. Here is the dream: I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that we were in our new house (IRL we are looking for a new house to move into). It was really beautifull and spacious with a beautifull garden. I felt so happy and and peace there. The first night in the house I went to the front door to lock it. I remember the door - it was a beautifull wooden and glass door which really caught my attention. There was colour in the door as well. All of a sudden a frog (not very big about medium size) came jumping into the house underneath the door. I was so scared 'cause IRL I have a huge fear of frogs! When this frog came in I jumped into the air - very high. I was surprised at the ability of how high I could jump. I had my back against the wall and with my feet against a wooden rack infront of me. The frog jumped throughout the living room. I heard it making sss sounds and becoming violent as if it knew it wasn't welcome in the house. I called my husband to come and catch it and take it out. My husband came and as he bent down to take the frog I could see it is a poisonous frog. I also thought to myself that I just hope that my hubby don't tease me with this frog 'cause I have such a fear for frogs. Then what I thought happened! He took the frog and pressed it against my face of all places! I felt like a little girl again, so scared. He told me that this was the only way I would get over my fear. It was horrible! Then my hubby took out the frog and went to a place next door. There he threw the frog to another creature that looked like a tortoise and some furry animal combined. The creature looked cute and cuddly, but I knew it was hostile and dangerous. Then we were in the house again and when we wanted to go to bed the kids woke up. They were wide awake and wouldn't go back to sleep. I came into the bathroom and saw my two kids and friends of ours (my husbands boss) daughter in the bath with lots of foam just having fun. I looked at a picture of 3 people, two men and one lady. They were all between the ages of about 55 and 60. I got the impression that they were very wise people and they had walked a long way with the Lord. 3 Light beams were shining from heaven onto each persons head. When I looked closer I could see that they were in conversation. I saw that one of the light beams went into the man on the rights ear. He heard from the Lord (that is what the light beam was) and then He would say to the other two what God had said. The Holy Spirit was present in this photo. Then all of a sudden I was driving in my car with my baby girl and our friends daughter. My little boy was with my husband at home. It was still night time. It was as if we haven't moved into the new house yet and was still staying in our current house. I wanted to go and have a look if this light beam might be shining on our new house. I looked at the two kids and they were asleep. I came to a crossing and I had to turn to the right to get to the new house. When I was in this street there was total darkness around me. The lights of my car wasn't working anymore!! I saw 3 cats running across the street in front of me. I couldn't see anything. I was so scared to make an accident. I cannot explain the fear that was inside of me. I couldn't see where I was going. I tried switching the lights on and off, but couldn't get it to work again. In front of the new house I turned the car around (like in the movies with high speed). I was facing the way I came and still the lights weren't working! I woke up from the dream but was so troubled about all of this that I had to get up just to relax. This really felt like a warning dream. But for what? I don't understand that I wanted to see if the light beam (Holy Spirit) was present at the new house and when I got there I was in total darkness. I have walked with Jesus for quite a while now although my husband isn't as close to God, I'm still praying for him every day. I'm confused. Blessings xxx.

Thanks Gamma3, for your reply and like Cholette said you've made great points here. I've never thought of it this way. I wish it wasn't so difficult to get out of this situation!! I really love my husband although he doesn't treat us the right way most of the time. And I think it is because I still love him (although I don't have much respect left for him) that makes it so difficult. Also, the children really love him. Like I said, he isn't always bad, but most of the time I'm not happy because of his behaviour. It feels like I'm going mad. I can't discern between what's right or wrong behaviour from my husband anymore. I don't know how to explain this to you guys. I'll try, I think because this has been going on for so long you get kind of brain washed that it is okay (although deep down I know it's not okay). Sorry you guys, it is very difficult for me to explain this and english isn't my home language, so sometimes it is difficult to express something in english. Like for instance, the drinking with his friends. I don't complain about that to him, because most of the time he has to take out clients. So for him it is a convenient excuse to go out and drink and his boss expect that of him (to take out their clients). I've become so used to this behaviour. Ugh, I feel very confused, really. It sometimes really feels as if I'm loosing my mind, because I don't know what to do. I'm also scared that he might loose it when I tell him I want a divorce. He once told me that if I want to leave him, I musn't think that I will take our children with me!! That is a threat. It scares me a bit, because I don't know what he will be capable of doing. Not that he has ever physically hurt me or the children, but you never know in what kind of state that would leave him. Please just pray for me and the children guys. Please pray like myself that God would give me strength to either talk to him to get help, or just strenghth to get out. I have told him a few times before that he needs help and he just laughs it off or once told me to .... off (sorry for this). Maybe if I tell him that I'm going to leave him if he won't get help he'll take it more seriously, I don't know. I wish I had a stronger personality. I always feel sorry for people no matter what they've done to me. I'm always the one who forgives very easily no matter what the situation is and in this situation my personality isn't helping me or my children very much, it is a burden to me. I don't know what to do. I just once again want to thank you guys. With all your words I am seeing a little light and understant better that I don't have to stay in this situation, I just wish I was a stronger person. BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL XXX Sirianta

Again Deborah, thank you so much!! I am so blessed with all of your advise and scriptures. I thank God for you girls!! Be blessed, love ya xxx

Connie this is the most beautiful scripture I've ever read!! Thank you so much! I'm gonna hold on to this forever. This meant so much to me and once again I realise just how much God loves me. It amazes me how much you guys really care for people and how much time you put in to help people who have issues in their lives. May God bless all of you for helping and caring. Love you guys!! Sirianta

Thank you Deborah, I really appreciate your feedback and I'm amazed at how many woman went through or are going through the same as me. It really helps talking to you guys and all the advise. XXX Sirianta

Connie, that so much sounds like me as well. I was molested by a number of people since I was 5 years old. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 9 years old. Never really had a relationship with my dad. This is my second marriage, was married before. Luckily I had no children with my previous husband and I had the same issues in my previous marriage like I'm having now. My first pregnancy with my current husband ended in a miscarriage, which devastated me. And about two years back my dad commited suicide. I know that I went through a lot, but God will use me one day to help other woman who went through the same I went through. Thanks for all your support and prayers guys. Love you dearly! xxx S I once got prophetic Word

Hey guys, thank you sooooooooooooo much for all of your advise and help. I can not tell you how much this means to me. I thank God for a website like this for someone like me who don't have much christian support where I live, because of my circumstances. Thank you Jesus for all of the replies!! It really gave me more strenghth and answered a lot of my questions. I wish there was a way I could show you how much I appreciate your replies. (((HUGS))) Sirianta

Hey Cholette, I'm still here because I know God doesn't approve of divorce. I'm also holding on because I don't know how the children would cope without a dad. I guess I'm still hoping that God will answer my prayers and safe my husband and I still love him. I really don't know what to do. I just want to please God and don't want to make the wrong decission. Thanks Cholette

Hey guys, it's been a long time since i've posted anything on this website. I used to post a dream nearly every day. I used to be so close to God, but I dont' know how I got so distant from Him nowadays. I guess it's my own fault, 'cause God will never leave my side, that I know. I'm trying my best and working on it and I need God now more that ever in my life. The issue I'm having is my husband. I don't even know where to begin and I don't want this post to be toooo long. I'm in an emotional abusive marriage and I can not tell you guys in words how this is affecting me. I feel depressed most of the time, I just can't handle feeling like this anymore. I'm so scared to say the wrong things at home or do anything wrong, because of his outbursts!! And most of the time it is small little stuff that will make him explode, like for instance if a medicine bottle leaked in the cupboard or something like that. And it is always me and the childrens fault. He can't do anything wrong. I on the other hand am very soft emotionally and am really struggling under his abusive ways. If he did something wrong I would just leave it. Even when he comes home at 2 in the morning after drinking with his friends I don't even go at him. I just keep quiet, because I hate conflict. Maybe that is wrong of me, I don't know. He uses the ugliest swear words you can immagine, even uses the Lord's name in vain and what is most bothersome about this is that he uses them in front of our two beautifull children (Megan 3 years and Craigen nearly 5). As I'm writing this I just want to burst out crying, 'cause I can not stand the fact that my children should go through this. He constantly screams at me and them, and talk to us as if we're beneath him. He drinks a lot with his friends, so most of the time I'm at home alone with the kids. Why should my kids go through this? They don't deserve this at all. I've been praying for him for over 7 years and it just keeps getting worse. I really hoped that God would answer my prayers and get him on the right path before this would start affecting the children, but I can already see that it is affecting them. It's not fair that the children will be affected by this for the rest of their lifes. He is suppose to set an example. Im so scared that my little boy is going to turn out just like him. He is already yelling at me just like his dad. He also won't let me go to my choice of church. He is brought up in a very traditional church that does't believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and doesn't practice the gifts. I was also brought up in such a church but a few years ago I went on a church camp and learned about the other side which I never knew. There I really met Jesus and came to love Him dearly. He once said that if I go to that church again he would leave me. He will not let me bring up our kids in such a church. This makes me so sad, because now I don't go to church anymore for a few years now AND I REALLY MISS THE FELLOWSHIP . I am so lonely! Sometimes it feels like the only time he is nice to me is when he wants to sleep with me. I hate it!! I nearly don't have any respect for him anymore. I can not help it. I know he loves the kids very much, sometimes I'm not sure if he really loves me or care for me anymore. I'm very confused. He is not always bad, he has a good side to him as well, but most of the time he is really very emotionally abusive. I do love him, but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better for the kids and myself to be removed from this situation. Because I'm so depressed I sometimes go off on the kids as well, which isn't necessary. This thought just brings tears to my eyes. Please help, even if you can just pray for me. I know I shouldn't loose hope in God, but it isn't easy when you've prayed for soooooooooo many years and it just gets worse. Thank you

Hey guys. Lately I've been very down concerning my work etc. First of all I can not stand working at this place anymore. Never in my life have I met such evil people as I'm working with here. It will take too long to explain everything. I'm honest if I say that I never believed that you really get such bad people in real life. A few other people working with me feel exactly the same. Funny enough all of us feeling this way are children of God. Problem is I get paid a good salary that I won't easily get elsewhere. It is not a lot, but it is more than most people pay in this town. I can not go work for less than this, because me, my hubby and children are struggeling already. Secondly, ALL my friends from school (we were a huge group of friends) made something of their lives. Some of them are doctors, dentists, architects, phycologists etc. Their parents had a lot of money, so they could study further after we left high school. I was the only one who's parents were divorced and struggled financially. My precious mother couldn't afford for me to go and study, which I understand completely. It's just so sad to me 'cause I'm the only one who's always just done office jobs (like a secretary etc.). It is so frustrating because I wanted to study beauty technology or interior design because I love being creative. My whole life I haven't been happy at what I do and not very good at what I do because I'm a creative person. You guys, please I dont want it to sound like I feel very sorry for myself, but it is becoming a huge issue in my life. I too want to be successfull at what I do, I too want to make sure my children have a bright future for them to go and study further. I'm so tired of struggling financially. I can not explain to you how this feels. Since I was a little girl I've always had these high expectations of what I'm going to become one day, but sadly life doesn't always turn out that way. I know God understands, because yesterday I received my daily devotion from Joel Osteen which was about exactly what my issue is. It was about making plans to succeed in your career and the dream that you have for your life. But my heart sank this morning again when I went online to check out some courses for interior design. It is so expensive!!!!!!!!!! To me it feels like I won't get anywhere without money! Why does it always have to be about money? I don't know what to do guys, how can I do a course and get a diploma if I don't have any money. How can I become what God has put in my heart, what God made me to be, use the talents God gave me if everything costs money which we don't have? I just ask for anyone to pray with me. I want to made a success of my future. I don't want to be the only friend left behind, not being successfull. It hurts. Blessings xxx