Christa

Thank you.

Cholette, you don't believe me? Narcissists are ego-centric. Everything is revolved around what I could do for him, and if I refused to do it, he would verbally abuse me....it would be my fault. He never once took me on a date. I even invited him out and offered to buy him dinner, he wouldn't go because he didn't have the time. I would say, "You never have time" and he would always laugh, in a mocking sort of way, like he would take pleasure in my pain of not being able to see him. I told him I needed to spend time with him at least two days a week (because he would go a couple of weeks without seeing me or even talking to me), or else I was going to break it off with him. He promised he could do a couple of days a week, but didn't follow through. Actually, after that promise, I didn't see him for 3 weeks. When we'd hang out, it would be about his pleasure, not mine....ever. He's the opposite of empathetic....would only ask me how I was doing as a lead into questioning me as to when we'd "get together" again. He would beg me to send nude pictures to him, and when I wouldn't he would abuse me and say, "Well, you don't know how to take care of your man then." It was my fault I had values. Deborah, no, I don't suffer with headaches... neck aches daily though. Sister, thank you for that....I feel like you understand what I'm going through. I know people's intentions with tough love are good, I've just come to take it as disrespect because I'm nearly 40 years old and I can choose to do what I wish. I don't intentionally date narcissists, but I attract them...once I'm in the relationship and all of the glory wears off, they start to act like themselves...doing less for me and then using lies, manipulation, or whatever to keep me around, because I take care of them well and make their lives better. For my daughter's and my sake, I'm completely withdrawing from dating until I'm emotionally healthy again. I'm also going on a hunt to find out how to immediately know whether a person is a narcissist or not. I don't want to be anywhere near any narcissists, whether male or female. It all boils down to being able to discern what is God and what is witchcraft, I suppose.

Thank you Deborah and Cholette. Yeah, I'm totally seeing the pattern....but in hindsight!!!! I need to be able to spot a narcissist from a mile away. I ended up bugging him the other day (calling him multiple times, texting him at the same time) to push him to the point of breaking up with me. It worked, and he broke up with me, but he's already tried once to suck me back in. Thank God I had the strength to ignore and delete his text, but if he tries again and again, and if I get increasingly lonely...I just don't trust myself. Yes, I need some deliverance from the ungodly soul-tie issues.... and healing. This guy drained the life out of me.

I have a boyfriend that is a narcissist. I've had the worst dreams about him trying to hurt me or leave me to die. Every time I tell him I want to break up, he begs me not to stop seeing him. When he met me, he lied and said he was a Christian and all sorts of good things. He's a poser and incapable of love, but we've done 'stuff' because I was weak and he's convincing. Now he keeps sucking me back into his web of lies, promising me love and all that, but all that occurs is us fooling around for a half an hour every 2-3 weeks. This guy is poison, but I have a hard time with narcissists because I'm really good at problem solving, and they have huge issues. They never want to break up with me because they get used to me being their doormat. I wish I could get mad enough to tell this guy to go fly a kite...but everything I've tried hasn't been working. God has really been good at sabotaging us getting together recently, but I need this ungodly soul tie severed for good, or made holy asap. However, I don't see us ever having a future or a holy relationship as long as he's a narcissist. I really need prayer.

Hey, remember this song: "Here's a little song I wrote.....might want to sing it note for note.....don't worry.....be happy.....don't worry, be happy now...... Oooo...ooo.....ooooo.....oooo.....ooo...ooo...oo...o...oooo...ooo...oooooo.....ooooooooooooooo....Don't worry.... ooo.oooo.oooo...ooooo...oooo.....ooooo....oooo.oooooo......Be happy.... oooo...oooo.....ooooo....ooo...oooo........ Don't worry, be happy now...." Doesn't this song make you want to visit a beach and basque in the sunlight?! Maybe even have a fruity drink with a little umbrella hangin' out the top. Hey all..... we're all going to get over our crap and see happier times! Believe it! It's true! Change is stability, and it's certain to happen... why not believe for happier times??!! You're blessed and not cursed!

Thanks you guys...you are awesome. God bless you all.

As you saw by my post yesterday, MAAAANNNN I was in a funk. Well, I just got some news that just broke it....completely unrelated, but it's the news I needed. I'm on the welfare system...food stamps and everything. They recently gave me all kinds of aptitude tests, and one in particular was called the Raven, which was an intelligence test. When the psychologists who oversaw the administering of these tests pulled me in to discuss them, they told me I didn't miss even one answer on the Raven. They said they'd never seen results like that before with Calworks recipients, and that I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I decided to look up Mensa, which is an organization for people who score within the 98th percentile of intelligence across the world. I applied to get into this organization, because my perfect score made me within the top 99th percentile. You guys....I got the acceptance email today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm freaking out a little...in a good way though! Wheeeew! Thank you, Jesus! Whoever thought a person on welfare would be the next Mensan member???!!!! Unbelievable! I so needed that good news today!

Court went badly in my opinion. The judge didn't grant the divorce, and didn't raise the child support up from $31 a month. I'm usually pretty good emotionally after court, but this time, I'm not doing so well with it because I thought I was done for a while. I'm not going to pursue the divorce further for now, because I'm just too tired emotionally. I'd be lying if I said I weren't angry, disappointed, sad, and just messed up over this limbo hell I'm in. I love Jesus, and I don't deserve all of the grace he's given me, so I just try to level myself thinking those things. However, I'm in a fog of denial and not happy. I do thank you all for your continued prayer. This site is awesome and very uplifting. Thank you for replying with your kind words. God Bless, Christa

Well, I have some good news followed by a prayer request. I got full custody of my daughter, and her dad still has supervised monitored visitations. I was finally granted a restraining order that protects my daughter and I, which doesn't deture him from driving by our house several times a month, but I'm grateful for what I have! I was also accepted into a state university all expenses paid with no loan debt! I'm now a junior majoring in Family Consumer Sciences and should receive my Bachelors of Science in a little over a year. You know, God is good! I did my best to remain in faith during these hard times, and He brought me through it with favor and blessings on top of it! My prayer request: I need peace when I go to court on Monday. I don't want to be nervous or anxious....or come out with a headache because I was in court all day. I just need it to be a short and sweet experience, with God's favor and protection for my daughter and I. My husband had threatened to kill me over $50- once, so he's no joy to be around...even if I'm in the confines of a protected and secured court house. I honestly wish he wouldn't show up, and that the judge will rule with what she sees as fair. I just don't want to deal with the guy anymore, he's a dangerous and violent criminal, and isn't good for my daughter or myself. He needs Jesus...and I pray for him constantly...that the Lord would bless him and draw him to Him. Thanks for your prayers. Hope everyone is doing well. ;)

Thank you, Daisy. My daughter's father was hanging around our house today, but wasn't within the 100 yards of being in violation of the restraining order....so, he didn't get picked up from the police. I have a praise report, though: God keeps making him visible to me. It's amazing how I've caught him near our house twice in less than a month. The police haven't caught him yet, but God is letting me know that He has an eye on him and is giving me a glipse of what's going on. It's like God is keeping me in the loop so that I won't let my guard down. This is one of those "Paul" moments, where a thorn is strategically placed in my side, yet God's grace is sufficient for me! So, I should be happy during this time and not let it affect my joy, because God allowed this thorn in my side for my better good down the road! Because in my weakness, his power is made perfect!Whew! I'm like David encouraging myself right now! God is good, and I know He loves me more than I can even comprehend. I'm so glad I'm His child and that Jesus died for me so that I could be adopted into His awesome Kingdom! Woo-hoo!

Thank you Connie. I promise I will let you guys know the praise report.

Thank you both so much! The prayers of the righteous availeth much. I believe in the power of prayer. Thank you for remembering me in your prayers. Have a nice Labor Day.

There's something about this year....it's like hot and cold. Either really good things are happening, or really bad things are happening. I got accepted in a university by such a miracle that it's hard to believe, but in the same week, I'd had the hardest custody issues I've ever had regarding my daughter. I don't know why God allows what he does, but honestly, my stomach is in knots over all of the stress I've been dealing with. This stomach pain started when I began having custody issues (in order to keep my daughter safe with me, and not watch her deteriorate in the care of her felon, drug addict father) two years ago. Please remember me in your prayers as I'm trying to raise a precious 3 year old on my own, and also protect her from him. Maybe you can agree with me that God will send her father to Alaska. I need to move on with my life, and I can't even bear the thought of dealing with this crap with her father; while taking 4 college classes plus raising a child in the way she needs to be raised (loving Jesus, honoring people, and having an excellent spirit). Thank you for your kindness. God bless.

Oh girl....I'm so sorry to hear that. I had a friend who committed suicide several years ago. She was convinced that Jesus wanted her to kill herself to be with him. It's just so sad. She was a genius, in that MENSA organization. I wish I would've gotten in her face every day, picked a fight with her or something, to show her a different perspective, or to get her to defend herself. I ignored the empathy I felt in my heart for her. The sting of her death still hurts to this day. God bless you, hun. Just try to be there for the family of your friend as much as you can. Suicide seems to be contageous and the spirit of depression and hopelessness needs to be broken off of this family.

Thanks Connie and Linda. Yeah, Linda....I'm so creeped out about Russia being mixed into the mess. God always confirms his messages to us a few times. He's starting to broaden the borders of our territories like he did Jabez. He always supplies givers with seed. We all as Christians need to have the guts to stand with Israel. You can share this with anyone you like. Thanks for replying!