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Paddy goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon.
He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.
"Could you taste this for me, please?"
The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.
"Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy.
"No, not at all," says the chemist.
"Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar." !!

Local Transport Authorities come up with a miraculous invention to help women drivers
It's called a bus ticket

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was very nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his latex gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't", she replied.
"Well," he spoofed, 'there's a building here in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't even crack a smile.
Oh, well. At least I tried", he thought.
But about five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she suddenly burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked her.
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"

When asked what she wanted for her birthday the wife replied "something that will make my knickers wet"
New washing machine it is then!

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