Bullying boss

[GoldenEagle 0]

My boss basically forced me out of an organisation that was founded by my late father thriough her bullying behaviour this year. Recently, when after I had been out of my post for several months one of the board asked me to prepare a piece of work that was beyond my boss' meagre abilities, I lost my temper and emaile dher that she is the most incompetent person I have met in a decade in the field. That's why she bullied me - she was intimidated. Anyway, now she wants a written apology byt because the organisation was started by my father the pain of being forced out (and bing unemployed in a recession inot the bargain!) is just too great. My mother thinks the Christian thing would be to apologise, but I really feel this girl is trying to humiliate me further. She says I'm harassing her and she could sue - but I know if I took her to tribunal I might have a case but it doesn't seem teh Christian thing to do.

Help!

[True Flight 0]

How many times do you hear that suing isn't the Christen thing to do.
It's the law of the land now days. its not like you can stone her or take her first born.
If you are wronged it is an appropriate response.

With that said, it sounds to me like pride is getting in your way, humble yourself in this situation and let God have the victory.

I think your mother has the wisdom for this situation.

[Cholette 0]

Yes, your mother is completely right. You allowed "history" to change your attitude. I agree with TrueFlight, once again, you must humble yourself so God can get it in. Your reaction is what made things worse. Remember, it's a soft word that turns away wrath.

[Guest Guest]

Psalm 37
Before I got this job where i am now I had this experience
I used to be a manager in a very known company..when there was an opening for a higher position my name was brought up..and I accepted at the moment since it was a better pay rate for me.
But it was told I had that position as long as I prove myself to them.
So I stood up to the challenge...a person new to the job wanted that position too..He have the personal ambitions but not the knowledge for the job.
So while I was doing what I was supposed to do this person behind my back was plotting all He could get against me to get the position.
I did not know that at the moment. one day I was called from my superiors to informed me that this person was going to be the new head manager.
I step down and commit myself to cooperate with him in all he needs.
One day within the organization a problem arouse..it is not easy many times to be a jew and christian at the same time..you get double hate portion..The situation was getting out control a decision needs to be made since it was affecting one our major customers.
I remember going early one day in the morning and talking with him and presenting the solution that I tought will eliminate the problem we all were having.
So we could keep the customer happy and the office running smooth.
I asked for his approval to initiate the customer contact process since we were regulated by certain policies.
He agreed with me to set up a meeting with the customer explaining the nature of the meeting and get permission from them..
I proceed then with the plan and when i got the approval from the customer this person told me to forward the email I just sent to the customer to initiate the implementations and corrective norms to solve the conflict. He asked me for that e-mail ;Innocently I did not see any malice and gave him the email.
A couple hours later I was in front of a panel of directives and the company CEO discussing this issue.
I was really humiliated that day..I was treated like an ignorant and my job was ridicule to the ground.
This person was with me also and when I was asked if he knew about it i told them the truth: Yes he gave me the approval..he lied miserably telling them no..but all was a mascarade since he was their guy..I practiced my faith openly and was not ashamed by it.
I bite the dust that day.
I was demoted and in probation so I had to step down to a lesser power position in terms of authority.
but not salary..for a month I have to walk in my building having to answer every one why i was taken that position when i held the other position and everybody knew who I was.
I cried to God that day..I had to received orders from a person that betrayed me in the open..and after the meeting was finished I had to openly apologize to him.
That was the last drop...He even make it sound like he was doing a favor to me.
I was bitter. But then I did what was required from me and walk the road of shame that day with my tail in between my legs.
But I did not give up fasting and praying to my God
I have asked God to grant me another job with better pay since He knew I was innocent.
I knew no one to come for help.
One day while I was on this battle..a call came in a day where I was not suppossed to be working ..the call was not even for me..and it was from another director that wanted me fired too in the past.
The guy spoke to me and mention the opening in the conversation I asked him if i could give him my resume..he told me :of course..I sended it that day.
I continued praying ..I did not have that much faith since all the circumstances previous to this were so adverse to me.
this is what happen one day. I received a call from the recruiter from this new company offering me an interview ..I was so happy but I still blinded because I could not recognize the hand of my God since I was absorbed in my bitterness with this person.
I came to my interview...and waited. I even call the director that did not like me to inquire for the position.no news..
One thrursday while I was at work , praying and worshiping the Lord a call came..I got the Job the person on the phone told me.
And the salary I got was what I have asked the Lord for in prayers.
My advise is Humble yourself and go along with it ..because you don't know if is the Lord testing you and something greater will come after this to you.
The eyes of the Lord see it all.
short time after I left this person lost his Job and my former company lost the contract as well.
God judges all ..He will take care of you as well.mine is the revenge He said I shall recompense
May the Lord Bless You and Keep You.

[GoldenEagle 0]

mbstudent, that is an amazing story.

I am willing to humble myself, but I am not willing to be humiliated by a bully, a person who carried out daily horrible actions such as taking away the adaptations that were made to my workplace because of my disability so that i couldn't physically do my job and then complaining about my output, asking me infront of a room full of people about a very, very personal gynaecological exam I was having that day and when the Board and staff were praising traning I had given on Friday afternoon, she chose Monday mroning to tell m 'the rest of your work isn't up to scratch' although I have actually won awards for my work and no other manager had ever made any negative comment in 10 years (she had only been in post for a few months at the time, and I think she identified me as a threat. That's not pride, it's just my perception because the Board have met to discuss her inadequacies and they have praised my abilities and I think that just drove her nuts).

I feel that herd emanding a written statement is just further bullying really and if I write one I will lose all respect for myself. I've already dropped the lawsuit because I felt that was the right thing to do, but she is justing pushing it too far now.... I believe God will vindicate me (Isaiah 54), so why should I basically attack myself?

I have always loved the instruction that 'the LORD your God will fight for you and you shall hold your peace'. I was indeed wrong to have verbally attacked this girl, no matter what she had done, because God is my Defendera nd I didn't need to defend myself. I should just have let it go. I appreciate that my actions wre out of hurt and anger, and the horrible feeling that had my father been alive none of this would have happened. In the words of Joyce Meyer, 'hurting people hurt people.' I could lay it aside and wish no ill to any-one involed in it. I could say that maybe some other door will open, some opportunityt hat woudl ahve been missed if I'd just stayed forever in my last job - but I acnnot write this letter. I just can't.

[GoldenEagle 0]

Oh, and cholette, 'history'= the death of mjy father. No offence, but it's a bit insensitive to not realise just what a painful thing that is.... it's not something that 'gets in my way', it's something that broke my heart and from your post I really don't feel you have the heart to understand that kind of pain. Sorry to be confronting, but I think you need to understand that life isn't always black and white, knwoing what you should do and doing it. Overcoming losing the person in the world you were closest to is a long and painful battle, and if I don't win that battle in every situation I'm not going to be made feel guilty for that.

[Guest Guest]

GoldenEagle,
My heart is with you. I was like that too..You don't know how many time in bitternes I cry to God.
But I stood in front of God on my innocence.and He acted on my behalf.
Not reason to be sad..it might seem adverse to you now..but wait after the jewish holiday of Yom Kippur and you shall see.
these are God's appointed times..revenge and recompense
Do what the Lord says.is all I can advice to you.
There is a huge victory for you in here that is for sure
The greater the pain and opposition the greater is the reward.
A few days back while I was praying a word was so vivid in my mind:
RESTORATION
God is on the move Do not loose hope.
God will vindicate you.

[Guest Guest]

Follow your heart about the letter try to gain time after monday .
God will step up.

[GoldenEagle 0]

Thanks very much.

[Cholette 0]

I wasn't trying to offend you and if I did I'm sorry. I was only responding based on what you said which wasn't much...just a general statement. Had I known that it was something that was touching and close to your heart I would have responded differently however, I stick to what I said when I said "a soft word turns away wrath". What you don't know is I've been there and done that so I'm just not responding with an insensitive tone...I learned that it's not about others, it's ALWAYS about me and my perspective of things. We go through things, despite how painful they are, for us (to produce growth and preserverence) and not for anyone else.

Once again, my apologies...I'm not one to offend, but that's just how you took it! Blessings to you.

[GoldenEagle 0]

The first line I used said 'the organisation started by my late father', maybe I should have reinforced that more.

I'm sorry you've been there, but I don't know that painful things always create perseverance - I've had one of the most painful medical conditions it's possinle to have for 20 years, and it's my experience of being in hospital for long periods of time that 'hurting people hurt people'. Pain deastroys, it is not an instrument for good. That's why i have to be acreful at the moment because I am acting out of pain wich means that I have the potential to be very destructive. But I agree with you that there is the potential for redemption in this situation, and if I go the wrong way it's going to cause real damage but if I go the right way it could lead to something wonderful.

[dreamster 0]

ugh,,ur story is a heartbreakin read,,i agree wiv cholette in principle,,i howeva struggle wiv injustice,,i just wish u gods best,,thats tha safest thing i kan do wivout goin D

[Cholette 0]

I guess I'm not making myself too clear. I never said that pain is an "instrument"...Job went through one of the most painful times that I've read in the Bible however it worked for his good. Paul describes tremendous trials in the book of Acts, but it was for a greater good...and let's not forget Jesus himself. That's where I'm coming from. I'm not insinuating that God brings pain as "instruments" to teach us because Jesus came to give us life and the devil to kill, steal and destroy...I'm suggesting that God causes ALL things to work together for the good for our lives.

[b]My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4

[/b]

[HisLightbeam 0]

What a beautiful word, Cholette. I am sorry to hear about your plight, GoldenEagle. Just continue to trust in the Lord, humble yourslf under the mighty hand of God. He has and will instruct you on how to deal with your enemies. MBStudent. You are just a well of example to others. You went through so that you could be a witness to others, because you truly have been a witness to me. I was terminated from my job while on medical leave, and they said that I quit, so I not only lost my job and benefits, I was unable to draw unemployment. However, I will not tear them up with words, because they gave me a job in the first place when I needed one. When that season was over, the Lord had already told me where I was going next. It hurt, but I wanted to do what God told me to do. And I cried bitter tears, but the Lord reminds me daily that He is my vindication and will revenge me without me harboring animosity, which will only make me physically sick, and will make me bitter and unable to forgive. I may be a reserved person, but I don't want to block what God will do because of unforgiveness. Thank you, MB, Cholette. Dreamy. ;) You are so right! Golden Eagle, I pray that your heart is softened so that you can let go of the anger, and let peace reign (as a King) within you. God will take care of this injustice. Everything done in the dark does come into the light.

[dreamster 0]

,,,thats a tuffy,,,