What do you do?

[lovelywomanofvirtue 0]

Hi all,

I came to a revelation today, that I keep promises to everyone else but myself. Last year my focus was my character...and I guess the timing is just right, maybe this year I need to focus on me. I realize how i have let myself go...and helped others. My question is, how do you get a good balance? I mean, I know i am a helper by nature...but how do I focus on myself, and what I want and need without becoming too selfish. At times, it seems like with my family, when I do decide to say no to them, its like i hurt their feelings. As I stated earlier, how do i focus on myself without becoming selfish or conceited? One main issue with me is my weight. My boyfriend pointed out that in that area, I, myself, am not even a motivator for wanting to do something about it...and that hit me. I don't stick to things that I say I am gonna do for me, but I make sure that I do for everybody else....it sounds so sad to me when i read it as I type it. Can anyone help me with this?

[RnestseekR 0]

I hear you when it comes to the weight thing. Self control is always hard for me when it comes to eating. I think it comes down to this one thing: We must rely on God to meet our needs. I, personally, disagree w/ the worldly philosophy that I have to make sure I am meeting my own needs. When I am looking to God to help me focus on meeting my needs, making priorities, exercising self-control, knowing exactly what I am called to do etc, life goes smoother and my weight reflects that. For me, personally, motivation is fickle. A plan with goals and reaching those goals and FOCUS is so much better.
In regards to not keeping promises to yourself, is that true? Or does it just seem true? One thought might be - relating back to your weight - is to institute some rewards for meeting some health goals. Like taking yourself shopping, getting your nails done, etc. See - then you'll be keeping not just a promise for not such fun stuff as well as some leisure. There's some balance there!
Good luck. I know for me, I can say "AMEN" to everything you are expressing, but don't give up!

[Cholette 0]

What I have found out is that the Word of God is the answer to EVERYTHING. It's amazing to me how so many things are rectified just by studying the Word of God. It seems to correct things on it's on until one day you realize that some of those things that used to vex you don't vex you any longer.

A friend of mine had a weight problem and refused to go on a diet because she had come to the conclusion that they didn't work. She cried out to the Lord and the only thing he told her was to "eat His Bread". It took her a minute to truly get what he was talking about, but she heard a message that equated the Bread of God to the Word of God. She jumped into the Word of God and ate it like her life depended on it. I had not seen her for several months and when I did, she was MUCH smaller. I asked her did she go on a diet or is she working out and she emphatically said NO!

She admitted to me that God opened up some things inside of her that she was feeding with food. When she turned those things over and allowed the Word of God to heal her, the weight began to melt off. The Word is our medicine for EVERYTHING. If you want balance, the Word will show you how to achieve it. If you want to be a healthy size or weight, the Word will show you how to achieve it.

Most likely you have the gift of service. You love to serve people by helping them and there is nothing wrong with that because it's needed in the body of Christ. Just like any other spiritual gift, it needs to be tempered. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you...and He will. Open up the Word of God and allow Him to teach you...and He will.

I pray this helps...Blessings!

[Virtuous 0]

, You beta say dat, Cholette!

[Cholette 0]

Girl, isn't it a trip how God brings us back to the Word of God? Gotta love it!

[lovelywomanofvirtue 0]

Thanks ya'll....I know i have been reading the word more lately...I guess I am kinda at a point in my life where I am trying to deal with all my issues...seems like things are popping up to me all at once, and I am feeling overwhelmed...just pray for me ya'll. I got alot to cry out to God about...sometimes I feel like I have a sadness in my soul....Thank you.

[Cholette 0]

Whenever you are in the Word Lovelywomanofvirtue, the distractions are enormous. The enemy does NOT want us in the Word.

The problem is...you can't deal with your issues...that's the Lord's job. We are asked to cast the whole of our care upon the Lord because He cares for us. When we do that, things change...we fill lighter. It will remain that way as long as you don't take back the things you have turned over to Him. I know all too well what that "sadness in my soul" feels like. Take it to Jesus girl!!!

[Virtuous 0]

God deals and gives to us line upon line - precept upon precept.

I thought I had to deal with "ALL" of my issues at one time. HUGE MISTAKE. It took God to reveal to me, through His word, that all I had to do was cast "ALL" of my cares upon Him and let Him do what He do.

[lovelywomanofvirtue 0]

Yeah, ya'll are right...its just like a combination of stuff...I feel his pull and tug on me to do His work, and I am tryin to be focused on that, but at the same time, I just still feel lost? Does that make sense? I guess it is all about letting go and letting God. I am just tired of crying..

[Cholette 0]

You will be able to do "His Work" effectively once you are released from the "baggage" that you are carrying. His tug on you is real and He loves you too much to have you carry all of that around...you weren't designed to do that.

I'm headed out for prayer right now...I am going to lift you up to the Lord.

[lovelywomanofvirtue 0]

Thank you so much Cholette...

[Dove-Solutions 0]

Nicely stated Cholette and Virtuous! I could not have said it better myself. When I turned over my stuff to Jesus he delivered me from smoking for 35 years. I smoked like a chimney. One day I said "Lord this is no longer about me, but about you. I cannot do this on my own." Boom no more smoking. I never once had a craving or anything. He just took it from me, praise the Lord! So I agree and recommend giving it over to him. It is funny but he removes this stuff one chip at a time so to speak. It is like peeling an onion. One layer at a time, never giving us more than we can bear. He is so awesome! Thank you Lord for my deliverance!


Love in Jesus,

Connie

[lovelywomanofvirtue 0]

Ok, I hear ya'll loud and clear, just give it all to Jesus...let me ask this though, when u truly surrendered all....I mean how did u do it after u said it...I think i am bad about saying that I am going to do that, then i end up picking it back up.....I guess I haven't really got an understandiing on true surrender..

[RnestseekR 0]

In re: to the weight. I do want to say this, so that you do not get discouraged. I have been in a health management accountability group at my church for the last 2 years. Our leader had the same experience as Connie when it came to smoking cessation. Cold turkey, not even a single cigarette more. She was discouraged that the overeating and weight management did not happen the same way. NOT to say that it couldn't, but that for her it didn't. Why would the smoking be immediate and not the weight? Was the surrender different? I actually do not think so. I really believe in praying with her and being in weekly contact with her that she did really surrender. I have no explanation for why God does things one one time and a different way another. That's why He is God and I am not. I do know that one theme that keeps coming up for us is not just surrender, but DAILY surrender. I'm not great with the short answers about how to make the weight and the issues associated with it just disappear. If so, I wouldn't need my accountability group anymore. I just know that I have to trust that Jesus works everything for my own good. So, if he does not immediately deliver me from my cravings or asks me to pray more, align my will with his, exercise self-control, etc., then I have to trust there is a reason for that. To me, it's like why are some people immediately healed sometimes and others still have to walk through traditional medicine sources. Some instances are about faith. Others are absolutely not. But trusting Jesus through it all and being obedient to Him through it all, whether I am immediately delivered from my circumstance or not, is a MUST.
Keep working it out. There are so many things we do not understand about God. Sometimes, like when the Pharisees and other teachers of the day questioned Jesus, He is pleased when we push to know more, especially about Him. Other times, he wants us just to surrender to His plan, like when we push to know the details before we step out in obedience.
I guess what I am trying to say is to continue to work through the questions and desire to know more about God's ways. Continue to persevere to be obedient to God's request of you to be wise and accountable for your health. Rely on Him for direction as to how to do this. Keep going!!!

[Virtuous 0]

For me it was the total opposite. It took FOREVER for me to finally stop smoking cigarettes. Now, it seemed I was delivered from drinking and drugs (marijuana) like overnight. I went to bed high and woke up without a desire or taste for it...I just didn't want it.

I never thought about it the way RnestseekR brought it out but it makes sense.

[Cholette 0]

I agree with Rnestseekr said about surrendering daily!!!! How I do it and did it in the areas I struggle(ed) with, whenever I gave it to the Lord and I found myself thinking and worrying about it again, I just gave it to Him again. We are not going to be perfect...and God doesn't expect us to be. All of these things we struggle with is of the flesh and we have to understand that our old man was nailed to the cross.

For me, I realized after searching and searching about why I kept giving into the flesh was that I felt like my flesh was strong. When I studied Romans 6,7 and 8 over and over again, the lightbulb came on and I understood that the power that is in me to deny my flesh was actually stronger than my flesh. I gave life to my flesh by the way I thought...thinking that it was stronger and bigger than the Power that was given to me. When I changed the way I thought, I was able to stand up against the cravings of my flesh and by golly it obeyed.

The Bible says "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he..." (Proverbs 23:7) My flesh was stronger because that's what I thought in my heart, but the moment I changed the way I saw my flesh and realized the power inside of me was stronger, everything changed for me. I have used this illumination in so many areas in my life and have seen the victory.

Like Rnestseekr said, we don't know why God delivers people from certain things right away and others have to walk through a "process". I'm not sure it has anything to do with faith because I've seen new Christians give their life to the Lord and immediately be delivered. I sometimes think that it may have to do with ministry in an area. I would seek the Lord in these areas...maybe you have a call to minister out of your affliction(s).

I hope I was clear and didn't confuse you more...

[lovelywomanofvirtue 0]

Oh no ma'am...u were right on point....i have dealt with alot of rejection because of the way I look.....and right now i am learning how to love ME...i think tht will be an area of ministry for me...

[Cholette 0]

I sent you a PM...

[Virtuous 0]

You are so right, Cholette.

The book of Galatians helped me recognize that I was no longer bound by the desires of my flesh and I didn't have "to do" anything to make God love me. It's a given!

You and RnestseekR have really been in the Word with yall posts about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the direction we need. We need to be directed straight to the word of God!