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Delightful soul

not sure which way to turn?

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Lately I am constantly wanting to leave the country. I am living with family members as I am financially in a situation where living by myself is tough. I have been seeking work, to no avail and feel so trapped.

One of my friends in Vietnam is encouraging me to teach over there as a job teaching kids english. So I have been considering this as an option however going to a place with English not being the main language scares me a little.

I have also just returned from staying with a friend for a week as I needed space from my current living situation and she was wanting to move out with me, but the more we discuss things, the more I feel that I am not liking the idea, she is very much into nesting and getting a nice house with nice things and I am starting to feel as though my whole world is surrounded by people who turn to 'things' to make their lives bearable and I have never been domestic or into tupperware parties and all that stuff.

I am starting to get really depressed about my comfortable life and want to make a difference in this world. I am torn between my financial situation and not knowing where on earth to go. Noone wants to hire me in this town I live in and I have a degree but little experience to go to the city and look for work.
Besides I do not like busy cities but this is where the majority of work is.

I have lots of friends in different places who keep welcoming me to come visit them, england, kenya, Canada.....it all sounds like an aventure but also without the money tis hard. I am trying to look at pros and cons and I can save for an airfare and a bit then perhaps work overseas teaching english but only in third world countries do they take people who are not trained teachers. I have my degree on my side so this is a pro.

I have never felt so sad before and bored with my life. People keep telling me to volunteer to keep busy but I am so tired of not getting paid for my efforts. And thing is I need to work!

Is there anyone who has some sense to speak on here for me? I have had a hard couple of years relationship wise and this has brought me down big time. I want to give of myself, but am so broken hearted I feel I have little to give and anyway I feel as though noone needs me here except perhaps ina third world country where they are desperate for help. Am I making sense at all???

Sorry to be so down on here, but I feel trapped, I know I have choices but atm they seem so few.

i would look like this, but I am even too down to let out tears although they are all inside my tummy churning away.

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Hi Claire...

This is what I can offer you and this is my opinion and it's based on how I do things in my life. I used to drive myself CRAZY trying to find the "right" decision so I can do the "right" thing. I put myself in bondage for so long, living my life trying to stay on the "straight and narrow". The one thing that I always go back to is that we have this ABUNDANT life that Christ came, died and was resurrected for. He came to give it to US...God's children. We spend our days tormented and afraid of doing the "wrong" thing, but what we dont' understand is that God has given us ALL THINGS to richly enjoy.

I am reminded of Paul, in the book of Acts. He was a very active man of God who had so much zeal for God and in his assignment. He had to go into all of these cities to preach the gospel. The only way Paul knew that he didn't belong in a place was when the door closed. If it closed, he chalked that up to being God's will for him NOT to be in that city. The Bible says in Proverbs that MANY are the plans of the righteous, but the LORD determines his steps. How come, as Christians and as God's beloved, we don't trust that? He clearly says that the steps of a RIGHTEOUS man are ordered by Him...so why do we walk so tentively? We don't trust the Lord in the way we need to.

What I am saying here is this...follow your heart. Get quiet and tap into that place where you find the most peace and just do it. Commit your way to the Lord and allow him to open and shut the doors for you. Majority of what we do here in our lives is BY FAITH!!! We are not going to always have a blueprint of which way to go. We need to learn how to rely on the fact that God loves us so, so, so much, that HE will not allow us to fail. If we do take a wrong road, He works it out for our good, so it really isn't a failure anyway.

My advice to you is to RELAX. What you deem as hard and confusing is really not that way. You belong to God and His Spirit, who is our compass...our umpire and He will guide you and lead you into all truth. You have to believe that goodness and mercy follows you ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR LIFE. You have to know that you are covered with the unmerited favor of God, through Jesus Christ. If the doors aren't opening where you are, then try some place else...but just make sure you go to the place of peace that is hidden deep within you to find out where the Spirit of God has given you peace. It's okay, really it is.

I just made a HUGE decision to leave a church that I've been TOILING in my brain on whether I should leave or not. I allowed people to tell me to stay because God's blessings were there for me. I was MISERABLE and not being fed, but I stayed because I wasnted to be blessed. God had to teach me what I shared here with you. I'm already blessed...no matter where I go. The Bible says I am blessed in the city and the field..I am blessed when I come and when I go. The blessings are NOT in a location...it's on me. So I say the same thing to you...no matter where you end up, God's blessings are yours...they cover you...you just have to believe that and you will begin to see it. All the days of your life have already been written in the book of your life. The book is finished and completed. Allow the Spirit of God to lead you with the peace (Col 3:15) that surpasses ALL understanding.

Blessings and MUCH peace to you my sister in Christ...

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Amen, Sister Cholette!

I would like add to what Cholette said in terms of getting quiet and tapping into the place of peace. This seems like the type of decision that calls for prayer and fasting. Consider a 3 day fast and seek the Lord on this matter (Acts 13:24). If you feel a sense of peace about going to Vietnam, then go.

I also agree with what Cholette said about faith. After the period of fasting, step out on faith and take action. As long as your focus is to serve God and give Him glory in all that you do, you can't go wrong no matter what your decision.

I also pray peace for you and the Lord will give you wisdom regarding this matter.

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