Sirianta 0 Posted February 27, 2011 I've been very busy on this forum today. Today is Sunday and my husband usually works every Sunday, but today he was off and decided to go play golf with his boss and some work people. Now my husband does drink a lot and today was one of those days. I just want to know how my sttitude should be towards him if he comes home wasted like this? He expects me to be loving and if I'm not then he has a problem with it, as if I'm the one who is in the wrong. I don't think there is scripture anywhere concerning this,that is why I come to you guys again. My children were so glad when he got home because he doesn't spend much time with them although he loves them. My heart broke 'cause my little 5 year old son wanted him so badly to play tv games with him, but he is to intoxicated to even stand. He just passed out on the couch. I don't want my hildren to see him like this. It really isn't a good example. How should I handle my husband? I'm sure God doesn't expect me to be all loving towards him when he is like this. And I always just keep my mouth shut, not complaining.I just don't know what to do 'cause it feels like things are heading downhill again.Sirianta Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John7 0 Posted February 27, 2011 Hi Sirianta,I don't think Im qaulified to give you advice on this matter as Im not a minister or senior person on this forum, I think the moderators and senior members on the forum will probably be able to give you better advice than me.I have been praying for you and your family, and I guess the only thing I can tell you is that in the past I have had a serious drug and alchohol problem, and God did deliver me from those addictions. I believe God can deliver your husband from any issues with alcohol he has, and I am certainly keeping your family in prayer. I recall Collette who is a moderator, said in a previous post to do your best to keep the peace, I think that was good advice coming from Collette, and she is a moderator on here, so she probably has a lot of experience of helping people.Jesus Christ will not leave you nor forsake you.He is with you every step of the way, "Lo I am with you always even to the end of the world." and he has power to deliver your family members "Jesus is annointed with the Holy spirit and with power and he goes about doing good, and healing all who are oppressed of the devil." (Acts 10:38) He is the same yesterday, today and forever, that means he is with you in power, and he is able to help you through your situation. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. JESUS IS WITH YOU Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
James Gerald 0 Posted February 27, 2011 My prayers go out to you, GOD BLESS YOU AND GUIDE YOU. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sirianta 0 Posted February 28, 2011 Thank you guys so much Sirianta Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John7 0 Posted February 28, 2011 Hi Sirianta, I just felt led to share something. Not long ago I was watching Joel Osteen give a great sermon, and he was preaching about dealing with your marriage partners faults. He said the best way to deal with your marriage partners faults is to focus on your marriage partners good points, and build them up on their good points, and as you build up their positive aspects with words of encouragement, it starts to push out the bad aspects of their personality. The Bible says "Like and death is in the power of the tongue." I believe if you continue speaking life into your husbands life, its going to effect his personally and push out negativity, death and even addiction.Joel Osteen gave examples such as these. He was addressing married women and he said, if your husband is lazy and hasnt mowed the lawn in months say to him, "do you know when your out mowing the lawn with your singlet on, you look really tough, athletic and good looking, I really love seeing you outside mowing the lawn in that singlet, because you look so strong." He also addressed men and said, maybe your wife falls short in a certain area, but she is a great mother to your children, focus on that aspect of your wifes personality, and sow words of encouragement into her life about how great of a mother she is, and that your glad she is your wife because she's such a good mother.Joel Osteen talked about just sowing life and light into any of the light you can find in your marriage partner, and just focus on the light you see in them and ignore the darkness. As you continue to feed the small spark thats already in them, eventually your going to make the fire larger through speaking sparks of life into it, and eventually as the fire gets bigger they will begin to see the light and begin to change.Ok so lets look what you have with your husband. From what you've told the community here, he's struggling with issues with alcohol, and he's not open to charasmatic christianity yet, they are the issues you want to see changed. But lets see what positive and biblical things your husband is doing.From what you have told me, your husband seems to be a pretty hard worker, and he also has been spending time with his boss playing golf, he probably does this for two reasons, because he wants security in his job by staying friends with the boss, and to keep good relationships with those in the workplace. Even though he has issues with alcohol, let put that aside for the moment and focus on the positive. In many respects you are blessed with a great husband who wants a secure job to provide for his family, and your husband is on the road to becoming a person who follows the word, "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Tim 5:8) God's word does compliment your husband for being a hard worker.Maybe you could start thanking your husband and blessing him, and telling him your thankful that he works so hard for you and the children. Say things like, "God has really blessed me with a husband who is such a hard worker." And say to him, "Did you know the Bible says, real men of God are those who provide for their family, Im so thankful God gave me a man like you who works so hard for his family." This was the sort of stuff Joel Osteen was saying, and he has the fruit to back up his sermon, because he has been successfully married for many years, he is also involved in ministries involving marriages etc, so he's a person to definitely take notice of. I don't claim to be a minister or have any ministry experience, and I am definitely not a person to take marriage advice off. But I'm refferring you to Pastor Joel Osteens teachings and passing on the message I heard from Joel.My other advice to you would be to order some Joel Osteen DVD materials and teachings on marriage, also Victoria Osteens DvD materials on marriage would help you aswell. I think Joel and Victoria Osteen are two of the best ministers in the world, and I think their teachings could help you with strategies on how to deal with the challenges in your marriage.I really feel a stirring in my spirit to encourage you to watch as much Joel Osteen material as you can. If you cannot afford his dvd's and book's, you can watch a lot of his sermons on youtube for free. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sirianta 0 Posted February 28, 2011 John, today I want to take the time to really thank God for you being part of this ministry. Every time you reply on one of my posts you are an inspiration to me and really lift up my spirit! Thank you so much, may God bless you tremendously Joel is one of my favourites!! I really love his teachings and his sermons is always full of the love of Christ. You blesse my so much with the idea of speaking life!! It's so true. I'm going to start and focus on my husband's good qualities and compliment him on it! There is times when it really gets tough and a few times I really considered divorce but then I remember the dreams God gave me about my hubby and they are all prophetic dreams. A pastor once also gave us prophetic word saying that God is going to bless us so much that we won't believe it is possible. He told me that I'm prophetic and my husband is a true apostle!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe it? My hubby an apostle? It is stuff like this that makes me hold on and I try my best to praise God through this storm. It's been over 7 years, but I'll keep on praying and trusting God for which is impossible in our eyes but which is possible in God's eyes!!Thanks John!!GOD BLESS YOU Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John7 0 Posted February 28, 2011 To God be the glory and honour, God is so good!Yes with God nothing is impossible! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cholette 0 Posted February 28, 2011 Remain prayerful Siranta...as I said to you before, your children come first. Although I agree with what was said by John regarding what Joel Osteen said, however mowing the lawn and alcoholism are two different things. I know your husband has good points, the reality is, him being intoxicated in front of your children is NOT good. I don't mean to pour water on your excitement...I just don't want you to check out from the reality of your situation. Once again...remain prayerful! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sirianta 0 Posted February 28, 2011 Absolutely Cholette!! I'm keeping that in mind all the time. I want to ask you, seeing that you are a Moderator: can I pray the blood of Jesus over my husband even if he doesn't have a personal relationship with the Lord? I think he still believes, but his daily life doesn't reflect this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cholette 0 Posted February 28, 2011 Of course you can!!!! God loves your husband, despite his actions. It's the FERVENT prayers of the righteous that produces MUCH power. Keep pleading the blood of Jesus over him...God hasn't forgotten about his confession of Christ to come into his life...even though your husband isn't walking in it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dove-Solutions 0 Posted March 1, 2011 I so agree with Cholette. Pray, pray, pray and then pray some more. God will hear each one and answer those prayers. Also I agree with the Joel Olstein advice. Encourage your husband and bless him everyday. Plead the blood of Jesus over his addiction and over every area of your life and marriage and the kids. I will be praying for you as well.Love in Jesus,Connie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sirianta 0 Posted March 2, 2011 Thanks Connie!! I can't wait for the day my husband will join me in our walk with Christ!! It's going to be a great testimony To God all the Glory - AMEN Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
James Gerald 0 Posted March 2, 2011 THE FATHER WILL DRAW HIM TO HIM HE HAS A "WAY!"AMEN! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sirianta 0 Posted March 2, 2011 AMEN BROTHER!!! I can't wait!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christi85 0 Posted March 5, 2011 Sirianta,I absolutely believe in the power of prayer and the advice all these wonderful women and men have been giving you. I was in a similar situation. My question to you is... do you have a person in your life that you feel completely comfortable being honest with who you respect that can help you through this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deborah 0 Posted March 12, 2011 My husband was an alcoholic when I married him. I had to get to the point where I asked him to choose between the alcohol and our son and me. I am so grateful he chose us. He has not had a drink since 1993. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sirianta 0 Posted March 14, 2011 How awesome is God!! Praise God Deborah for helping your husband making the right choice! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
