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God's will for me or my reaction to feeling insignificant????

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As you know, I have this dream of being a writer and an actress and serve God that way. I've posted threads and dreams and what not. However, I was thinking about the roots of my psychological issues. I was thinking about my anxiety. Then, I though about the dream. I began wanting it because I have felt ordinary, insignificant. The kids in my old school thought I'd amount to nothing. Plus, I was pretty obsessed with this celebrity. When times were hard, I would cling on to the dream, for the sack of not killing myself. I swear, everything around me was screaming that i should fulfill it. My family was and is going through financial problems. The fulfillment of my dreams would fix that. I felt that it was in everybody's best interest for me to fulfill my dreams. I felt like I could be a prodigy. I wanted nothing more than to be different than the kids of my generation and I already am. But what do I have to show for it? I was anxious about it, not because of the dream itself but the pressure I put myself under to fulfill it soon. I wanted to get out of the situation I was in. No one was happy, especially me. Well, then when I was born again, i didn't obsess of the the celebrity and the dream wasn't in the forefront. I was concentrating on Jesus. Then, when I started a different school, I clung to God and my dreams. Then, I discovered this group when It was on Yahoo back in early 2010. I was having strange dream in which i believed were from God. I had dreams before about fulfilling my ambitions, but those dreams felt different. I still didn't fully believe it could happen. I would just keep begging and pleading and praying. I would hear voices telling me what to do or what the truth is but rarely do i hear them. Then I had this dream that made me no longer doubt. I had a dream and it was about me following my dreams to be a scriptwriter/actress. I was in an empty room (only chairs) with these 3 human spirits. The had gone to heaven when they died. I think I could see heaven in the background (there was like an opening to heaven in the room). One by one they told me about their life and their dreams. They all wanted to make their own big hotel franchises (like Hilton). They should me they were fulfilling their dreams, but they eventually quit (I think because it took a long time and they weren't getting results for some time). After that, they lived mediocre and unfulfilled lives. They didn't seem that old (50s-60s). I guess they died kinda young. They all gave me one piece of advice. I think its don't lose faith, don't lose hope, don't give up. I think either I was in a different room or in the same room and God showed me big parts and details of my aspirations of becoming a scriptwriter/actress. One thing that really stood out was a celebrity I wanted to work with. I thought I was done thinking about him working with me, but I guess God still wants him to be a part of my aspirations. But the thing is that maybe my depression and anxiety stemmed from something having to do with it. As I write this, the idea crosses my head that it was because of the stress and sadness came from barely anyone, not even my family believing in me and they still don't believe in me. Just God and my best friend. I know the answer. I just want to get you're opinion. Plus, I need to know what so say to the psychiatrist when she dissects my brain and finds this. After a while I want to see a Christian therapist. Then, I'll be comfortable telling her every piece of me.

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Hi Jasmine,

Your situation sounds tough and I can't make any comments on the dreams you have had about you fulfilling your dreams but I can say that even though it's hard for you right now that patience is the key.

I understand what it's like to have a dream and to want it to be fulfilled right now but what I've learnt is that dream fulfillment for most persons is a process and often times it doesn't happen when we want it to happen, when we think it should happen or even how we think it should happen. So my advice to you is keep seeking God for answers and direction in your life. Ask him for patience concerning this thing.

As for people not believing in you, often times people judge others according to their circumstances, looks, background among other superficial things and don't ever take time to see the real person inside. I know that it's hard and that you'd like someone to say yes you can be that , I know that you can do it, the sky is the limit. But a lot of times it doesn't happen that way.We often lack the affirmation that we need. This is where trusting God comes in.

I think you should go to Genesis and read the story of Joseph. His brothers didn't "believe" in him and were so jealous of his father's favor that they sold him into slavery. But in the end, years after he'd originally shared his dreams with them, they came to pass.There are a lot of things which can be learnt from Joseph's story.

Another bit of advice, something I've learnt over the years, is to keep your dreams to yourself and only share them with people you really trust and who have your back. Sharing them with people who will put you down will just kill the fledgling dream that is growing in your heart. This is especially true when you maybe in a vulnerable place. You need to protect yourself.

I hope this helps.

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One other note here. Jasmine, aspire to be who Christ has called you to be. Seek out his will for your life. Put your whole effort into it. In the later part of your text you said that no one believed in you. You are so wrong......the Lord believes in you, hopes with you, rejoices with you.....He is your strength when you are weak. Put him foremost in all you do and he will be the center of it all. He will open doors of opportunity and will close the doors that need to be closed.

Remember this: God wants us to be all that we can be and never hinders us from that. What he wants from us is our trust to let Him guide us to that. We can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us. All things are possible with God. If God be for us who can be against us.

I never pray for patience I always pray for the ability to overcome every obstacle....the ability to rejoice in trial and tribulation because it gets me closer to the Lord and gets me closer to the plans he has for me. These are the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you to give you a hope and a future, not plans to harm you. Hope in the plan he has for you.

I have watched you grow so much this year and I know that more is coming. You are a mighty woman of God! Good things are coming your way. Believe it and receive it. Our test does not come in our failure but in our ability to hold on to the hope that Christ has given us.

I pray this helps,

Connie huggins

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OH wowo I thought I was reading out of a journal of mine from when I was younger. I too wanted to be an actress till I came to the Lord and He showed me I had other talents besides acting also. I then went and studied marketing which lead to film school and where I felt God wanted me to specialise in a few areas mainly scriptwriting.

Dearest Heart. I know too what it is like to be rejected and unwanted almost. I grew up teased and bullied by family and friends so called and school kids and knew that I had something special for my life.

Thing is, I wanted the love of my peers then Jesus came into my life and showed me something profound. Rejection scars us. Jesus wants to heal us to the extent that our scars disappear and only His remain.

Jesus wants to give you wholeness dear heart and it is not in a dream. It is not in anything but Christ. He is the dream sweetheart.

But I don't want to burst your bubble as I know this may have made you think that Jesus does not care. I think those people you dreamed of were from Heaven. And Jesus wants you to have your dreams fulfilled but in His way, in His time and in HIM.

Have you thought of contact Christian ministries who specialise in acting and scriptwiritng? There are some trust me.

Precious Jasmine, NEVER EVER GIVE UP.

But committ all your ways to Him and He shall direct your paths.

If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed and do not doubt in your heart Jesus can give you anything your hearts desires. You can say to that mountain be removed and cast into the sea.......but first you need to identify the mountain......what is your mountain? Is it really your dreams or the fact you feel like your dreams have been discouraged, that your heart is yearning for recognition and validation. That your soul longs for expression and that perhaps Acting and scriptwriting SEEM to meet that need you have right now. I do not doubt you are talented. In fact I believe HE WILL GRANT YOU THESE DESIRES. But once you know how to handle fame and money and social pressures, you can have your desires. Am I making sense?

Don't be like the world matey. Look at the rich and famous , are their insecurities met once they are successful actors/scriptwriters ? Most of them nowadays are into illicit affairs, drugs and all sorts of sin that is trying to meet a deep felt need to be accepted and LOVED.

Remember when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness? He was offered the world by satan. Did He accept it's fleeting promise of fame fortune and power? No. Did Jesus end up powerful? Did He end up rich? Did He end up famous? YES TO ALL THREE> He is the strongest man ALIVE. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, the streets in heaven are made of Gold, and He's so famous the ungodly use His name as a swear word! Not to mention, the calendar celebrates His birth, His word is the most published work and well, He's JEEEEEEESUUUUS.

Be patient hun and remember. You will have your desires met, just perhaps in a different order, in a different way, but nevertheless, YOU NEEDS and WANTS are met in CHrist alone. NO compromise necessary and no catches like the devil would have in his contract clause.

I hope I'm making sense. You obviously have a hUGE call on your life otherwise I wouldn't have taken the time to say all this hard stuff to you.

May He grant you all your desires in HIm and may He enlighten you to the real blessings that await you and not the counterfeit.

TRUST HIM> He knows you and loves you and HE is KING. And you are His Royal Princess.You are royalty. Im serious.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise and know that you are so loved by Him and His body that He has spoken to you through your dreams about what broken dreams can do to a person.

Don't let go of your dreams. Let go of the insecurities behind them. That's what I'm trying to say. God will not fail you and He wants you to have genuine wholeness in your life. If that means being a checkout chick, or a massage therapist (which I am currently as a job title) or an actress/writer, He will make you happy in that.

Whatever you do do as unto the Lord. You are not what you do remember, it is who you ARE that is of importance to God and you are HIS KID! You have already made Him proud and He believes in you no matter what.

I agree with Dove. Seek Him about your call. Seek Him first always.

Blessings huggins

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That was truly inspiring. I felt so awesome when I read your responses. I must tell you I feel pressured more than other teens. I feel as if God sees me as very mature for my age so I should be at the same pace as an adult.

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IM glad you received the response I had Jasmine as it was something I felt on my heart to reply with. God will move you in His time and in His way. TRUST is the key.


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