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exo152

How do we deal with this situation?

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My husband and I are dealing with an incredibly hard situation. Our son moved back home a few months ago. We were so happy and it was such an answer to prayer as he was living with questionable people. He is doing well, dating a nice girl, is active in church. BUT, he will not get a job. He says he cannot find one, but I never see him trying to. He sleeps late, eats our food, uses our stuff and makes excuses about why he cannot find a job. When you mention it to him he gets angry and suddenly you are the bad guy. In the last week I had to correct him for nitpicking at his young sister in a really mean way. Now he is being really nice to her, but treating me like I have done something wrong. I have expressed my concern to my husband that we are enabling him to act this way, but he is so afraid he will move back in with the people he was living with that he is giving in to him really badly. Just this morning I had to correct him and his sister for something both my husband and I had already corrected them about. He got angry and accused me of using a "mean tone". He said I have been really mean lately and chewing "everyone" out. Granted we ARE under a lot of stress and his increasing laziness only adds to the mix. But he has never been disrespectful toward me and this hurt. What to do?? nerd

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From one mom to the other, you have to let the "chips fall where they may". The way you teach him to respect you is to not allow it in your home. It's obvious that even though it appears he's doing well, he's very unhappy. He's only changed his location, not his mindset.

You and your husband need to lock hands and go before the Lord and seek what to do next and not be moved by your feelings. I say this from experience. I've had to make some HARD decisions and I have been a single mother my son's entire life. I let him go...no support...no anything...while living in a different state and commended him to the Lord and trusted that he would take care of him. My family was ANGRY with me saying that I was not being a parent and that he was too young for me to let him go, but because I put him in the hand of the Lord, I was willing to take the risk and trust God who had been his father all along. Yes, it was nerve wrecking at first, but my son decided to move back home and what I found was that the young man that I had believed God for came forth. He was different...he was more mature and better than I expected. He's not exactly serving God right now, but his head is on straight about LIFE...the spiritual side is next.

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Our son is serving the Lord, which is a blessing!! He is just so unmotivated about finding a job. I have cast the care of it over on the Lord and am trusting Him to speak to my son's heart. I do believe you are right, Cholette, in that his attitude is being fueled by his own unhappiness with himself. I just keep asking God to surround my son with people who will motivate him to do what is right. Thank you and God bless!!

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God will do it...that's a promise that HE made to us. All we need to do is train them up in the way they need to go. We have done that...now God is obligated to do the rest.

Praying...

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im wiv the big C ,on this one,, if all he got 2 moan about is tone of voice ,,he needs 2 tuffin up, be a contributer notta minus, he dont appreciate his surroundings etc, its all about respect, if u cant do that fundermental then 4get about ministry ,,, ,,times r tuff, u need participants not anchors, i wud be haveing a confrontational meetg wiv him,, being soft around him isnt doin him no favours, ,,

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He actually came to me a few days ago and we had a very good talk. Cholette was right and he does feel lousy about himself. He even apologized for many things. Right now he is pursuing a possible tech school angle and ramping up the job search. I think just stepping back and letting God deal with it was what we needed in the end.

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