GoldenEagle

I have a real problem - I am developing a serious phobia of doctors, medical procedures etc. I have insulin dependent diabetes, a severe form of arthritis and another serious health problem but whenever I go near a hospital i freak out... last Monday i discharged myself from the consultant rheumatologist dealing with my arhritis. I'm on very powerful drugs which have stopped working and i'm in a lot of pain, but I just couldn't face seeing him again. Also, there is quite an intimate procedure I need to have don... they tried to give it to em and ended up giving up beacuse I was really freaking out, so they want me to ahve it done under general anaethetic but for health reasons and beacsue that makes me feel really threatened I just can't consent to that (who wants to be unconscious and have ppl emssign around with their unmentionables? It's like beign assaulted...).

I don't think you can discriminate on the grounds of depression - statistically one in for of us will get depression at some point in our lives, and since both his parents have just died depression is a given! I myself have been treated for depression due to a longstanding painful condition and the death of my father. I think it's quite cold to reject some-one on the grounds of an illness which is no differenmt to having diabetes or asthma - it's a condition. I have worked in the field of mental health and I feel very strongly that it is totally misunderstood - just because some-one has depression it does not make them a danger or an emotional drain. I live with my mother who has had severe depression ever since my father died suddenly, and I don 't feel that being close to people with depression has harmed me in any way. However, I totally get you on the unloving behaviour thing - of soem-one is hurting you, why stay around to be hurt?

See, I find it easier to run TO somethign than from somethign, and pathetic thouigh it may be as I approach my mid thirties I just can't help wondering if I'll ever meet anybody, for wand of a better word, normal.

The first line I used said 'the organisation started by my late father', maybe I should have reinforced that more. I'm sorry you've been there, but I don't know that painful things always create perseverance - I've had one of the most painful medical conditions it's possinle to have for 20 years, and it's my experience of being in hospital for long periods of time that 'hurting people hurt people'. Pain deastroys, it is not an instrument for good. That's why i have to be acreful at the moment because I am acting out of pain wich means that I have the potential to be very destructive. But I agree with you that there is the potential for redemption in this situation, and if I go the wrong way it's going to cause real damage but if I go the right way it could lead to something wonderful.

Perfect love drives out all fear.

Thanks very much.

Yes, dreamster, he has severe depression which he's been treated for but it recurrs quite alot.

Oh, and cholette, 'history'= the death of mjy father. No offence, but it's a bit insensitive to not realise just what a painful thing that is.... it's not something that 'gets in my way', it's something that broke my heart and from your post I really don't feel you have the heart to understand that kind of pain. Sorry to be confronting, but I think you need to understand that life isn't always black and white, knwoing what you should do and doing it. Overcoming losing the person in the world you were closest to is a long and painful battle, and if I don't win that battle in every situation I'm not going to be made feel guilty for that.

Oh, and you're picture is a ginger cat which means you have taste and discretion aswell, lol.

Ture Flight, I know I have a minimal acquaintance with you, only ever having reada few lines you've written on the Internet, but I think it's entirely possible that you are one of the wisest people I've ever met.

mbstudent, that is an amazing story. I am willing to humble myself, but I am not willing to be humiliated by a bully, a person who carried out daily horrible actions such as taking away the adaptations that were made to my workplace because of my disability so that i couldn't physically do my job and then complaining about my output, asking me infront of a room full of people about a very, very personal gynaecological exam I was having that day and when the Board and staff were praising traning I had given on Friday afternoon, she chose Monday mroning to tell m 'the rest of your work isn't up to scratch' although I have actually won awards for my work and no other manager had ever made any negative comment in 10 years (she had only been in post for a few months at the time, and I think she identified me as a threat. That's not pride, it's just my perception because the Board have met to discuss her inadequacies and they have praised my abilities and I think that just drove her nuts). I feel that herd emanding a written statement is just further bullying really and if I write one I will lose all respect for myself. I've already dropped the lawsuit because I felt that was the right thing to do, but she is justing pushing it too far now.... I believe God will vindicate me (Isaiah 54), so why should I basically attack myself? I have always loved the instruction that 'the LORD your God will fight for you and you shall hold your peace'. I was indeed wrong to have verbally attacked this girl, no matter what she had done, because God is my Defendera nd I didn't need to defend myself. I should just have let it go. I appreciate that my actions wre out of hurt and anger, and the horrible feeling that had my father been alive none of this would have happened. In the words of Joyce Meyer, 'hurting people hurt people.' I could lay it aside and wish no ill to any-one involed in it. I could say that maybe some other door will open, some opportunityt hat woudl ahve been missed if I'd just stayed forever in my last job - but I acnnot write this letter. I just can't.

Thankyou so much. You're both very kind.

My cousn and his girlfriend were expecting a baby but just 2 weeks before the due date the baby suddenyl died and was delivered the next day with the chird wrapped around his neck. I had known prophetically for some months that this would happen, but it's still mindbogglingly painful for the parents and the whole family. Also, although they seem to be bearing up well, I believe it has been revealed to me that their 15 year relationship will soon end. Alot of prayer is needed. The relationship is an unstable and unhappy one.

Read Revelation 3, the letter to the Chruch in Philaphia - 'See, I have set before you an open door which no-one can shut'. You are in a season of waiting. Even if you feel that where you are is not your finakl destination, it's a point on the journey and you might as well at least try to enjoy the journey! I have been trying to get into a certain career for 4 years. This summer I had a really good contract offered to me, but ti fell through. At the same time I was bullied out of my job, so at the moemnt I am not workign and nothing seems to crop up. Also, the man I want gave up his job, studied for a year to apply for medical trasning, but then was rejected for that trainin about 2 years ago and hasn't had a permanent job since. The positiion you'r ein happens to alot fo people.

You ask 'is this the way to pray for an angry person?' yes, of the anger has a demonic route. But if the person is angry because they are hurt, which is mostly why people get angry, then pray for healing for the hurt. That's my thought.

I've found a man who blows hot and cold. he comes from a very, very troubled background and has problems with intimacy. Sometimes we are so close and sometimes he won't answer my calls... am I beign a sad, deluded female? Should I move on? I really respect hima nd his values but sometimes he is very difficult - he's got so many defense mechanisms that sometimes I feel like I'm walking across a firing range.

My boss basically forced me out of an organisation that was founded by my late father thriough her bullying behaviour this year. Recently, when after I had been out of my post for several months one of the board asked me to prepare a piece of work that was beyond my boss' meagre abilities, I lost my temper and emaile dher that she is the most incompetent person I have met in a decade in the field. That's why she bullied me - she was intimidated. Anyway, now she wants a written apology byt because the organisation was started by my father the pain of being forced out (and bing unemployed in a recession inot the bargain!) is just too great. My mother thinks the Christian thing would be to apologise, but I really feel this girl is trying to humiliate me further. She says I'm harassing her and she could sue - but I know if I took her to tribunal I might have a case but it doesn't seem teh Christian thing to do. Help!

I have decided this place is not for me. How do I delete my account?

If you told me you were 90 and pregnant, that would've been a bit of a shock, lol!

But 51 would rather rule out the whole having a child thing, and no offence but that's a tragedy rather than a happy story.

ASnd if it practsies transcendental meditation, it's probably a duck, too! Cos that's a spirit at enmity with mine.... I'm sorry you had such a rough time. I hope things are looking up. x

Thanks, afterall 'The LORD desires truth in the inmost parts'.

THANKYOU!

Thanks - btw I love that blue flower at the end!

My family aren't really like that... it's just Irish culture and I think general Western culture that says if you're in your 30s and single, you're unusual.... christianitytoday's singles forum is full of ppl from all over the place who feel the same! I don't think ppl who are married really understand.