But that's not why I continue to cut. I feel it is because I find my identity in my depression, anxiety and cutting. I find who I am in my disease. I feel that people will see how strong I am. It's as if my problems make me who I am. Hi Jasmine, I may not be someone you know, but when I read this, it reminded me of my daughter who has the same issue with cutting, anxiety and depression. It came to light when she stayed at a friends house and her friend told the school counselor. Bringing it to light was very painful for her. She didn't want me and her dad to know..I never dreamed she was hurting herself in this way...I am sharing this because I want you to have hope. She is now free from cutting for almost 6 months, and is in counselling, a place where she can talk about her worries and struggles freely. There have been some very upsetting things happen within our family over the past few years, and she has a tendancy to carry heavy burdens in that area as well as for her friends, and strangers. She has always been this way. I on the other hand, am still in the spiritual battle because yes, I believe there is some form of deception involved that is set up in the mind regarding self harm and fear. My daughter has a calling on her life and I am certain that you do as well. The enemy of our souls will plant as many seeds as possible to change the calling...but He cannot. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. Romans 11:29. I was not given the opportunity to serve Him at a young age. I did not know Christ until much sorrow and sin inflicted me when I came to Him when I was 27 years old. Please know just how much your parents love you. Please know how much He loves you. Allow Him to draw you back into His protective wing away from the world, that He may receive Glory, and that your joy in who you are in Him, will return. He has given you to His Body as a gift to encourage, strengthen and bring joy to its members. Much love, Piano P.S. I had not read the last few entries here..Im so glad to know you feel better.