renaemrgn

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. And just a little side note. I am going through some financial/housing issues as well and I asked god to show me what to do to just help take some of the worry away. Couponing was the answer on top that I started watching that show on TLC Extreme Couponing. Now, I dont go overboard like they do, but I have started couponing and it has helped a lot when I do have money. I try to look for sales and match them with my coupons bringing my out of pocket costs even lower. I dont know if this will help any but figured I would put it out there.

I know exactly how you are feeling. But honestly you just have to trust in God, talk to him on a daily basis. Tell him how you feel deep inside. If you have to yell, scream and cry to him, then do that. I'm 23, a single mom, who doesn't have a college education and I hate looking at my body. I tried to eat healthy but I just got depressed. The thing that has started to get my by is telling myself everyday that we can not live by bread alone. That inorder to accomplish anything we must put God first and believe in him. I recently started fasting again to draw closer to God and even though it's hard some days I realize it's for the best. And I look at my daughter and realize that she is the blessing God gave me to get me through the days when I feel so low and want to give up on life. I have to live not for myself but for God and the child he blessed me with. So hold on and just believe and have faith. It will work out if you just put your burden on Gods shoulders. Enjoy your son. Look at him as inspiration to lose weight, finish school, get a good job and live a blessed life so that he may follow in your example and see how strong of a mother he has and how when things were bad because of your faith in God you believed and he saw your through. I hope this helps to brighten up your day a little better. God bless you!

Thanks for posting this. Its definitely uplifting!

I will pray for you Destine. I went through something similar to that. I felt pushed to take anti-depressants and I did. I stopped talking them after a week because I felt in my heart that covering the issues with a pill wouldn't do anything to solve the problem. I agree with excersising. Right now I excersise, try to eat healthy and try to get out even if it's just standing at the front door to get some sun. It's been working as I have been more happy and less depressed and things are starting to not bother me as much.

i ask myself that same question pretty much everyday. Then i realize the time i spent wondering why i didnt ask God i should have used it to get closer to him.

Thank you Connie. I almost started crying while reading your prayer. I hope that i will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel like i am sinking in my sins if that makes any sense. Its like i am in a cell as a prisoner with no hope of ever having my freedom again. There is no light in this cell only darkness engulfing me, suffocating me. I have been feeling this way for about 8 months now. It all started the same day i went into labour with my daughter. I remember being in the delivery room and swearing because my contractions where so painful. I remember the look of disappointment on my mothers face, like i should be quiet and bare the pain which i did. On top of that, i had post partum depression for the first 3 months really bad. I was depressed wanted to die. I went to a psychologist and recieved medication but my family made me feel like i was a bad person because they didnt think i had a problem. That i should be happy with my newborn daughter. I felt like my feelings were being ridiculed. Then the last straw, I wasn't going to see my mother for thanksgiving because my daughters father and i were having some problems and my heart wasn't in the thanksgiving mode. She called and left a message saying that if my daughters father and his family tried to take my daughter away from me that she would support them...all because i didn't want to come see her for thanksgiving. I should get over it but it still hurts, makes me wonder if i am that bad of a person that deserves such a horrible fate. I guess that's my whole problem, my mom. I am still trying to gain her approval to get her to love me. She says she loves me, but i don't feel it especially when she says things that really hurt. I remember once she said she used to beat me because she wanted to see me cry. Another time when i was contemplating whether or not i wanted to go through with having my daughter, she said she wouldn't talk to me anymore if i had an abortion. I know she means well and I love her to death because she is my mother. I have to respect, love and care for her because she choose to have me. i just wish that all these things she says she feels for me (love, proud) that i actually felt them. That all of my actions weren't a constant disappointment to her. I am trying to let go of the way i feel but i have the scar that will always be there. Everytime i look at it i remember that i will never be good enough for my mother. And if i am not good enough for her it must be the same way for god. My mother once told me that even with our worst mistakes that god will still love us, and use us. But i dont know. So please if anyone reads this just pray for me that i'll find a way to let go and trust in god completely because i need to be healed. I don't want to cry anymore, i don't want to feel less that what i am. I don't want to feel that every bad that happens in my life i deserve it. I need to believe that my being on this earth is worth something more than my tears of pain.

yes it is. i miss it sometimes because its my homeland but i secretly prefer living in america.

massachusetts originially from jamaica.

i will pray that things will start to work out for you.