writer4him

I could really use Godly counsel right now as I am facing major trials and decisions that must be made. Thank you so much.

Hi everyone, I apologize for the lengthy post--but we need these specific issues addressed in prayer. I would appreciate your prayers for my 4 children and me. We have been at a hotel for the past month since losing our apartment due to domestic abuse. I lost my job 5 months ago after extended illness disrupted my life and ability to work. I was a few months into the process of a reconciliation attempt with my estranged mate when the emotional abuse began with a full month of the silent treatment. Soon after, my work began to suffer and I developed internal bleeding that continued for weeks without us locating the source because I lost my insurance when my paid leave ended. When I eventually became unable to work, he stopped contributing financially to the family until we were evicted from our apartment. He stashed his paychecks, bought a new car and left us stranded on the night we had to move out. This was after we filed joint taxes and he set it up to go into his account. We had agreed to pay off the apartment complex with the refund--now I don't know what he intends as we have no contact with him. He stayed at the same hotel that I checked into for a few days but ignored us. Earlier this year, God suddenly brought my 95 year old, absentee father back into my life during my illness and he has sent funds as he was able but of course this cannot continue. My adult daughter works part time but her income does not replace my earnings or cover the hotel room. We are living week by week here trying to get our bearings but now my funds have been depleted. My meager IRA is tapped out. I am looking for work but feel at a loss as to what I can actually do as my healing process was hindered by all of the stress--my doctor keeps sending letters reminding me that I need to get checked out but that is not an option right now. Out of the blue, I have begun having PTSD/anxiety symptoms that I had nearly healed from during the separation. Now, I have been trusting God for our care and provision but I have been on an Elijah-on-Mt- Carmel type prayer focus right now---"Which God is the true God". My eldest daughter left the faith, talks of universal consciousness and has embraced alternative lifestyles that are troubling (all internet for now)...she is busy trying humanistic means to pull us out of this pit and my conscience is being sorely tried. Apparently there are people out there who will pay other people quite well to "boss them around" (and other darker things) and she is linking up with them. I am asking that God move quickly as our deliverer as I can't stomach being provided for from such activities but I don't want to lean unto my own understanding on this. Plus, I have two sons (15 & 16) who are actively involved in church and their faith is being attacked right now--they're having difficulty trusting God will be a loving provider after being abandoned and left destitute by their earthly father. My second oldest daughter (18) professes Jesus but has been dabbling with marijuana, is not taking her diabetes meds (last glucose reading in April was 564), and is sexually active (I stumbled across an alternate fb page which revealed her life away from home--breaks my heart). I know that the devil is actively working to destroy my family but I cannot believe the Lord will allow this to happen though we are being sorely tried. This is the fallout of domestic abuse that proves this issue demands attention in the body of Christ. Abuse links victims up with the spirits of fear and unbelief--this cannot be what God intended for the family to be like. Thank you everyone. God bless.

I am much improved. Thanks for the prayers!

Amen. Thank you.

Still off work (day 2). ER trip yielded more questions than answers but this can't continue. Praying for complete healing in every way.

Symptoms began suddenly last night (no pain-just troubling to see) and again this morning. Taking off work AGAIN with no sick time left. I have a lot of serious things going on in my family and confess that I lack the wisdom to deal with them all. I have searched my heart with the Lord's help and been shown: unforgiveness, unbelief, self-righteousness, fear and bitterness are sprouting. Please pray for us. Thanking God for your prayers in advance. **I have been in the process of interceding for our family...in times past, attacks on my health would ensue during intercession-first targeting my thoughts then my body.**

Thanks for responding Cholette. I have sent you a PM. God bless!

About a month ago I had a dream about my husband being unfaithful--with our adult daughter of all things. In the dream I confronted him and he behaved like I was making a big deal out of nothing! My daughter just seemed to be unconcerned about the situation. When I awoke, I realized immediately that the dream was not literal but I pondered its meaning for a few days. Within a week, he began giving me the silent treatment, a method of emotional abuse that he has employed often over the past 21 years of marriage. The began 2 days before our 21st anniversary--which I spent alone with our kids--and has continued for about a month. He drives our daughter and me to work each day; he laughs and jokes with her and excludes me from conversations on the way. This continues in the evenings on our commute home. When any of our other kids are in the car he says things briefly...they don't know what the past month has been like for me but have noticed that I have not been very happy lately. When I asked my daughter if she had noticed anything different about his behavior, she said "Yes, but don't put me in it". We just moved back together after a 3-year separation due to abuse. My daughter was a daddy's girl who spent most of her life trying to get the attention of a detached father, so I get why she's enjoying being in the spot-light right now. It makes me angry that he would use her in this way and mess with her head to spite me. I need Godly wisdom and soon because I believe the "reconciliation" has been a smoke screen to pay me back for leaving.

I am healed!!!! My older son (15) anointed me and prayed, my youngest (14) laid hands on me and prayed...My temp would not go lower than 101, pain shot through my body from head to toe and I couldn't swallow. On the 3rd day I struggled out of bed and took a bus to the doctor's office only to learn that they would not be available for the next 3 days--I couldn't afford an ER visit. It was cold and raining and I was so discouraged. I returned home and climbed back into bed and slept off and on for about an hour. During this time, I was given the idea to try a new clinic at one of the the pharmacies connected to my insurance plan. Those nearest my home were closed for the day...I struggled out of bed again and made the cross-town trek by bus and train--my older son insisted on going with me this time. By the time the PA saw me at the clinic, my temp was 98.7 and I didn't appear ill...yet I was found to have a virus and severe strep throat and given antibiotics. I will have only one week on my next paycheck because of this illness but I am confident that God will provide. Thank you for praying for me. God bless!

Hi saints, I need your prayers. I have been ill for the past 2 days with high fever and body aches plus sore throat. I haven't been to work for two days and I am the sole breadwinner in my family (I have four children). This has happened during a fasting period regarding the spiritual warfare being waged against my household.

Thank you everyone for your acts of intercession and encouragement. My strength has been renewed and my resolve strengthened in the Lord and I refuse to give in to despair though it sits next to me very often. I love you guys. Blessings, writer4him

Thank you so much everyone...I know that we haven't been abandoned but I think that is the how we are meant to FEEL right now with so much going on. I will keep praying and speaking God's word in my house regardless of the warfare happening...today was particularly trying and tempers have been intermittently simmering and boiling over. I know that means that we have "company" as we call it when we're under demonic attack. The difference is that having my child reject the faith has shaken up everyone...so we don't have that solidarity aspect anymore. Thank you all so much for reminding me that we are part of something greater than our little family and we are not alone.

I left an abusive marriage of 18 years 2 years ago and my 4 children came with me. Two months ago I had to ask him to move out after he moved in without permission (and didn't pay a single bill!) when I started a new job earlier this year. During the past two years, the kids and I have experienced all manner of spiritual, emotional and mental fall-out as a result of having been in such an oppressive environment for so long. My children (now all teens ranging from age 13-19) are really struggling. My 16 year old daughter continues to suffer from emotional problems (and is trying to manage diabetes), my 19 year old has declared herself no longer a christian as she does not trust a God that allows suffering (nor the mother who serves that God), my sons (13 and 15) have bottled up anger and hopelessness in varying degrees. They have all learned to treat me with disdain by example...I have never been so discouraged in my life and I have been in some really tough situations before this. I find myself becoming easily angered as the pressures mount..I am taking care of all the kids alone with no help from their earthly father and I work part-time. As the parent on deck, I get a lot of anger directed at me---sometimes by more than one at a time. We live in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment and the living room doubles as my bedroom at night...the lack of privacy means I bottle up a lot of things because I rarely get to be alone. When they see me cry, they get scared...I can see it on their faces. With the acting out that's going on, I'm tense at work wondering how things are going at home...I've reached that wall and just want to give up and run away some days. We need you, saints. Please pray for my family.

I am having a difficult conversation with my abusive spouse and he is spinning what I have said to make whatever I say inaccurate, wrong or accusatory. After separation due to DV 2 years ago I tried to work out things with him, wanting to please God in the matter and practice forgiveness. I remained adamant theThis year the Lord blessed me with a new job to take care of my 4 children. Prior to that, I had let their father come over for visits to spend time with them and to see if repentance had really taken place (although he denied being abusive so, how can repentance take place?). Visits turned into spending the night occasionally after late movie nights (he missed the late bus and couldn't make it home...) Within 2 months of me starting my job he had lost 2 jobs and eventually his apartment but had meanwhile gradually moved in while I was at work. We agreed to a 60/40 split of the tax return funds so he could move out asap. ($3600/$2400) 3 months later, he has been living here rent-free, not helping with the bills, using my computer all day and night, eating meals w/o buying groceries...the kids tell me how he says hurtful things when I am not at home...their faith in God and attitude about Him has been contaminated after growing up in this sort environment--I didn't know I could leave without God being mad at me until He showed me otherwise---so I kept them in this verbal, physical, emotional and spiritual abuse situation for most of their lives. Forgiving myself has been difficult; even though I was ignorant about how to categorize what was happening in our home, they still bear the scars of those wounds and I am partly responsible for not protecting them. Wanting to be sure, I gave our marriage another chance...he in turn has disrespected me and not honored the wishes of my children when they ask him not to do/say hurtful things to them...he somehow turns things back on us and say we misunderstood or are inaccurate in our assessments... I feel my kindness has been exploited and I prayed and waited for a quiet, calm time to give him a move-out notice 1 month ago. He suddenly applied for unemployment and offered to help with a bill after the move-out notice...We have not spoken about the move since then until this afternoon. I calmly asked where he was in the process of finding a place...When I reiterated the above situation he began to accuse me of misrepresenting his actions. I refused to get caught up in the circuitous loop/diversionary tactic as that is something the Lord had delivered me from after 18 years of crazy-making and manipulation...so i restated my wishes and bowed out of the conversation. He hurled a few more parting "you're inaccurate, misrepresenting, falsely accusing" statements. I asked him not to continue to talk at me and restated my wishes to have him move out by the end of the month. He said "Oh, I know what you're doing. You didn't have to pick a fight to do what you really wanted to do". PLEASE PRAY FOR OUR PROTECTION AND DELIVERANCE as well as repentance/deliverance for him as he is very intelligent and knows how to manipulate systems and people to his advantage...he is a minister and very articulate as well. I just want to take my kids somewhere peaceful and let them enjoy the rest of their youth (all are teens now). I stated a few moments ago that I will not get caught up in bickering and defending myself..My case is before heaven's court and I know that God is not fooled by either of us--He knows the truth and he knows our hearts. Love you, brethren.

I didn't know how widespread this problem was until the Lord revealed to me the truth of my own situation. By the time most of us realize what to call it, the damage has been done and the healing process is not an easy one for the adult and children. Sometimes we are encouraged to practice "tough love" in those situations but only the repentant heart responds to loving correction. A hardened heart will simply try new tactics to regain control of the situation. In those cases, it is so important that fleeing spouses receive support from their church families. Who is going to enter the court room to support that emotionally-scarred mate who's forced to face her abuser in child support battles after she seeks aid from government agencies because financial resources have been stolen in retaliation for the separation? What about when the children who have observed and learned wrong patterns of behavior begin to be abusive towards one another and/or their parent? It's all well and good that we promise to pray for one another, that's what we are supposed to do. I would add that intercession sometimes requires personal involvement in situations that are not pretty.