Rock and a hard place

[firehawk 0]

I'm in a situation I've never been in before and hoped I never would be and need some advice and/or moral support. It's really doing my head in and I cannot think straight at the mo. Here goes -

I met Hannah about a month and a half ago and we have been meeting up ever since for days out etc etc. The thing is, I'm really confused about where it is going. Yesterday made it even harder to understand. She volunteers at the local steam railway so yesterday we decided to go for a day out there and have a ride etc etc. The first thing that made me confused was one of her colleagues asked if she's seeing anyone but pretty much without hesitation, she loudly shouted no no, still single. Which is fair enough. He then said, oh I assumed this was your boyfriend and again loudly shouted no, he is just a friend. No thought behind it or anything. Again, fair enough. But a bit later in the day, she sees her friend Stu and they dissappear for 1/4 of an hour leaving me on my own. Lovely. A bit later on she sees him again and they stand chatting whilst I am with them. He's stood there with his arms crossed but she has hold of one of his hands. When we go to get back on the train (he is the fireman for it), she hugs him and kisses him goodbye. She does the same when we get off.

I don't know if they are just very good friends, or if she is confused about who she likes more or what's is going on.

Another thing that's makes it even more weird, is when we first met, she said she was on the local dating website so we used that to chat for a few days since it was free. I've just had a look and she has logged on this morning so does it mean she is also confused and still hoping to find someone.

Like I say, it is messing with my head so some of this might not sound like it is meant too.

I just really don't know what to do. Do I just come out with it and ask her how she sees us? Do I mention what I saw between her and Stu and see what she says. They could literally be good friends which I wont have a problem with but it all seemed too friendly.

I have gone from extremely happy to having no energy and feeling really down.

Has anyone got any words of advice. It's driving me insane

[Davehutch-hutchs 0]

Ask her stright out Jeff what the she is playing at

but it dont sound good does it m8

[Neill 0]

Dont beat about the bush jeff
ask her straight out where she see's your relationship going
if she just wants to be freinds accept this and carry on as you are
and keep your options open see what develops

Dont be pushy with her though
Hth

[stantheman 0]

she sounds like a lesbian jeff ;dont let this experience put you off women for ever theres plenty more fish in the sea

[Guest Guest]

It depends really on what you've got up to so far?

I'd ask her outright what she thinks the relationship is between the two of you. Does she she you as just friends or having a relationship.

If its the first then, you really can't comment or have an opinion of her relationship with this guy.

If its the latter then broach the subject saying that it made you feel a bit uneasy and you'd like to know why they are that close. It might be that they are genuinely close friends.

Your only six weeks in, if you aren't sure of the relationship then neither is she? She may of said what she said to not crowd you or put you off.

Rose

[yankeedoodle 0]

i agree with most. just ask her straight and see what she says. easier to face it now than wait until further down the line when things could be even more complicated

[lee1 1]

just ask her out right jeff,it sounds like you have some strong feelings for her

if she just wants to be freinds then you know where ya stand

[trebor4460 0]

lifes to short to beat about the bush m8, as already said, ask her when/ if your relasionship is going to develop, if she wants to just stay friends thats fair enough, you still got a gud friend and can look elsewhere for a relasionship.

[Manxbiker 0]

I agree that you have to get to the point and find out what she wants to do.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. Your time is precious, make sure you use it wisely.

[suzukijax 0]

first off this guy could just be a friend as you have said and secondly she could of loudly and abruptly said you were just friends cause she was embarrassed about people asking who you were in front of you and she wanted the situation to go away quickly to ease her embarrassment as she isnt sure how you want to handle the relationship whether its as friends or more, so you really have one option and ask her, if you dont you will feel like this for ever and a day

[Stue11 0]

Jeff if that were me i would just let her go, thats no way to act if your with someone, dont get yourself down over it its not worth it mate, just ask yourself the question... do i really want this hassle at my age.... last thing mate, if it were me id look elsewhere cant be playing mind games your too young and theres plenty more fish in sea trust me The only reason why i would say this is the fact that when asked she point blank said NO...as for male friends thats not an issue my wife as a couple of guys that are good friends.

[Grumpyowl 0]

[quote="Stue11"]Jeff if that were me i would just let her go, thats no way to act if your with someone, dont get yourself down over it its not worth it mate, just ask yourself the question... do i really want this hassle at my age.... last thing mate, if it were me id look elsewhere cant be playing mind games your too young and theres plenty more fish in sea trust me The only reason why i would say this is the fact that when asked she point blank said NO...as for male friends thats not an issue my wife as a couple of guys that are good friends.[/quote


sorry Jeff dump the ignorant bitch don't give her the chance to dump you.
It's hard to take but think you know this is going no where and what kind of person behaves like that waste of space as said dump it.

[RichardH 0]

OOO I remember those days all too well, women the do ya chuffin head in!

[dick65 0]

ITCHY wrote:

OOO I remember those days all too well, women the do ya chuffin head in!

22 years for me and the missus,iwouldnt know where to start if i had to start over,well i would but you know what i mean.

[firehawk 0]

I think we are getting somewhere finally. We had an evening out tonight. Went for a bite to eat then we went back to hers for a chat. I met her Dad aswell. She openly talks about Stu and how he is her friend. In fairness, she hasn't been on the Island much more than me and she said that we are her only 2 friends over here. This was without me asking and I haven't mentioned him yet just to stay on the safe side. She also talked to me about personal stuff from her past that I wouldn't have expected her to say if she wasn't confident with me. Again, I said nothing so it was all said voluntarily. I also got to see her playful side tonight which was fun.

It's just going to take time for us to progress I think. She has had a hard life which I already knew so I don't blame her for wanting to go slow. I'm not going to push her because it could just blow it all apart.

Tonight felt really good and she cheered me up alot.

Thanks for all you advice so far guys and if you have any more words, feel free to reply. I'll keep you updated although not on anything explici

[day101 0]

stue 11 advice is the right advice to be honest, also setting up facebook accounts for every bloke shes friendly with is no way for a relationship with trust, you will never have trust by doing this.

[Davehutch-hutchs 0]

Its no way for a grown man to carry on jeff, just bloody have it out with her m8

[day101 0]

@Davehutch wrote:

Its no way for a grown man to carry on jeff, just bloody have it out with her m8

[yankeedoodle 0]

@Davehutch wrote:

Its no way for a grown man to carry on jeff,

nor is owning a caravan

[flange 0]

@yankeedoodle wrote:

@Davehutch wrote:

Its no way for a grown man to carry on jeff,

nor is owning a caravan

[firehawk 0]

I know but I also wasn't thinking straight at the time. I haven't done it for every bloke anyways. It was just a way of confirming things to try and sort my head out and it seems to have worked in my favour. It also allowed me to see wall posts between the 2 of them. It will be deleted with swift effect anyway.

[suzukijax 0]

As a female if my new boyfriend / friend was spying on me i would kick him to the kerb within seconds. Delete the account and start trusting her or walk away

[mrsstue11 0]

@suzukijax wrote:

As a female if my new boyfriend / friend was spying on me i would kick him to the kerb within seconds. Delete the account and start trusting her or walk away

sorry Jeff but the its the truth. Hope you get it sorted mate.