Nobel and Pulitzer

Oldfart · September 24, 2013

"A friend of mine is in the fertilised egg business. He has several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten cockerels to fertilise the eggs. He kept records, and any cockerels not performing, went into the soup pot and were replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his cockerels. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which cockerel was performing. Now, he could sit on outside his shed and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

His favourite cockerel, old David, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old David's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other cockerels were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To his amazement, old David had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
My friend was so proud of old David, he entered him in the South Yorkshire Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old David the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old David was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, the bells are not always audible"