relationship difficulty

[Delightful soul 0]

Hi all,

I am wanting some prayer for a relationship I am in and would appreciate it if you would agree with me for deliverance and healing of my heart. I have done some things I am not proud of in my relationship with a man who is very loving and caring. WHilst he is not as mature a christian as myself, I feel I have smothered him and pushed him away. Thus he has backed off and I feel whilst we are still going out that he may break up with me if I continue suffocating him with my behaviour. I want the Lord's will in this relationship and it is the first relationship I have had in ten years thus my over attentive behaviour towards this man which he feels is my "pressuring" him to committ. I am all new at this but feel like a kid with a toy and am so happy to be in a relationship with a caring man who is sooooo nice it is not funny. The past two weeks I stayed at his place and we ended up fighting and well, it is not good. This is a man who I could see myself marrying and he has talked about this initially at the start of our relationship but since I have been "smothering" him, he has backed right off from wanting to talk to me about such stuff.

I am so sad over this and would love to pray for favour with this man and for restoration as I do believe in my heart that I love him and that he could be the one for me.....


He has been really hurt by women in his past and although I know I am responsible for certain things and for pressuring him, I also know he is reacting from past hurts also and this hurts too.

Thanks for praying,


Claire

[Cholette 0]

Hi Claire,

I will be praying for you, but first let me share something with you. You need to really take a time out and allow God to reveal himself to you. The one thing I have learned as a single woman is that we can't know the love of anyone until we know the Love of God. You say that this man is a good man who is nice, however if he loves you, you can't see it because you don't know what it looks like.

God brings relationships into our lives so HE can love us through them, but we don't want to wait for those relationships to come. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is NOT the one that God sent, but what I am saying is make sure you are in the state of mind where you can recognize when it is. Sometimes we want relationship so bad that we "will" it into existence and we are not ready for it.

Please, please, please take some time out and go before God and ask him to fix those insecure places inside of you. Without that healing, you will ALWAYS be on edge no matter what relationship you are in.

I'm saying all of this in love...please don't take offense. I believe a loving relationship is God ordained and I want you to be happy. You don't need to pray for favor with this man. The Bible says that when you have favor with God, you have favor with man so focus on the Lord in this season...He will get you to the place where YOU belong...

Blessings

[Delightful soul 0]

THankyou so much for taking the time to answer my request........

I am hurting pretty bad and feel God is yet again showing me that I have a fear of failure and rejection that is still deep rooted within.

I have had so much ministry and am a very mature christian and should know better, however I have wanted a relationship more than the 'right relationship"....I am just so sad cause I feel that this man deserves a woman who will treat him well, so I have tried to do this thinking this was how to love with the love of God.........however I know I am trying to 'fix' his heart and this is God's job not mine.

I do believe that he rushed in with me and made promises he was not going to keep and this flattered me-like talking about my being the one and feeling a stirring in his spirit about me and also talking about marriage.....i feel i held him to his word and thus felt too secure thinking there was nothing to develop.....at the start he kept telling me he loved me and I said not to trust 'feelings' but to wait several months before exchanging those words of "i love you" ....but he said it so much to me I felt that I should say it back and now I feel that i have spoken those words over my heart now and that indeed i am in love with this man..........

I am sad, cause I have had so much difficulty with relationships of any kind becasue of a very disfunctional upbringing - it has taken me all of 14 years to get over my past which is why i haven't been in a relationship for 10 years.........i have finally come to a place where i can have healthy female friendships but the male female one is all new to me and hence i feel i have stuffed this one up......

I am for the first time in love and like with a man and I feel I have killed this relationship by "being too full on" with this man........

I want to forgive myself but yet again I have stuffed up. To top things off my pastor said that maybe I will never be able to have a relationship with a man like this becasue it stresses me out too much........so then again I felt like a big failure at life..........

I am 33 and am tired of waiting for things to come along and really feel that if I sit around and wait for GOd that I might just say "no to the helicopter that passes me by............does that make sense???

I mean I don't want to hide in my home away from men and yet I don't want to force things either...........where is the balance in all of this?

Anyhow, thankyou for this input,

I will pray, however I know that God also uses people to help people and this to me is his hand of help to me that is moving on my behalf and others everyday.


Thanks,

[Cholette 0]

Don't allow ANYONE to put you in condemnation over ANYTHING. The words your pastor spoke were quite condemning and those are things that God would NEVER say to you. You WILL have a loving relationship as soon as you love YOU and understand that God's love for you IS unconditional. I mean, we say we know his love is unconditional, but we really don't KNOW IT. Don't be afraid to wait on God because believe me, He will make it worth the wait. I prefer to get what He has for me than have to go through relationship after relationship...marriage after marriage, trying to find the right one.

One day the Lord spoke to me while in my room and said "I am your ideal man". I didn't get it at first, but what He wanted me to do was pay attention to how He treats me and raise the standard. Those words kept me out of the beds of men who didn't have my best interest and it kept me "dateless" for almost 12 years (by choice). Those were the most rewarding and growth filled years of my life. The longer it takes for us to get into his loving embrace and allow him to love us, the longer it will take for Him to shower us with his best.

I will close with this. I was reading in Genesis when God made Adam. When God realized Adam needed a helpmeet the Bible says:

"Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man."

What this says to me is that God went some place private and created the woman and THEN BROUGHT HER TO THE MAN. It is safe for us women to say that we are being built by God in those quite and private places before we are brought to the man. Think about Ruth...God brought her to Boaz's field...Boaz didn't go to where she was...he just found her.

Stay in that private place with God so he can build you from the "rib" of the man He has chosen for you so HE can bring YOU to HIM.

I pray this helps you because I really have this place in my heart for you. I believe the things that God has been ministering to me over the years was not just for me, but for you as well.

keep on faithing...

[Delightful soul 0]

Thanks so much,

I was wondering, have you found that man for your life? It sounded like you had.....just wanted to know....

What you have said makes sense......i thought i had already understood God's love for me, but i think this is an eternal lesson......I just want to have a healthy relationship with a man have this dream fulfilled.

I really do believe that this man is good, I have not had a revelation outstanding about him, but look at his character and see alot of good in him.....however I must let go and let God take over this and stop controlling things......which I believe is what God is saying to me that I have been doing, I have made this man a full time job and so I have decided to increase my input into a ministry that I was involved in years ago in media which is my calling......i have been fighting depression badly this week, but am really proud of myself that I am coming out of it alot stronger than what I used to.....I am not as crushed as when I was a young christian years ago with a breakup and well, I can see how God how God has shown me how to be cheerful in difficult circumstances.........very challenging indeed but I am surprising myself......


Thanks,

[Virtuous 0]

I am so agreeing with Cholette right now. I, too, am a single woman who is believing God for my husband.

clairephillipia, I feel exactly where you are coming from when you speak about this man. God has just healed me from a relationship dealing with this same situation you are in now. Trust me, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I remind myself of these words all the time and I pray they minister to your spirit as well..."A woman's heart should be hidden in God's heart that a man will have to seek Him to find her."

We, as women of God, should know exactly who we are in Christ and how much He loves us. I just read a book - Women: God's Secret Weapon by Ed Silvoso. When I tell you this book shed's light on the purpose God has placed on women it will blow your mind. I would suggest every woman read this book. It is sooooo powerful.

I'm about to type an exerpt from the book that lines up with what Cholette wrote and post it. I'll be back in a minute.

[Cholette 0]

No...I'm still not married however I sense I am at the end of this single season. I have enjoyed it to the fullest. I raised a son on my own (with God's help) and now he's in college.

I'm not sure when the man that God has for me will show up, but it's just a sensing that it's near. I've let go of the anxiety of "when he will show up" a long time ago because the Bible says that when we are in the unmarried state we have time for the "things of God". I think this is an opportune time for you to go all out in your ministry. Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything else will be added to you.

Virtuous, you got me fired up girl...I just ordered the book from Amazon right when I read your post...thanks for the suggestion...I love to read!!!

Blessings...

[Virtuous 0]

• This first part is the reason why I say it’s a must that women know who we are and the purpose of our existence. In Genesis 3:15, God tells satan that He will put enmity between him, the woman and her seed. She will crush his head and he will only be able to bruise her feet. That is the last battle…when satan’s head is crushed by WOMEN!
  

An Army of Women
Women need to discover this truth. The devil knows that God does not lie-what God promises always comes to pass. This is why Satan has spent centuries belittling women and weaving a web of lies into a formidable worldwide network of oppression to hold them down. He knows that when women find out who they really are, his evil kingdom will come to an abrupt end. He cannot afford to have women walking upright. He desperately needs to keep them down.
This is the part that lines up with what Cholette said.[/size]

A Helpmate for Adam
The account in Genesis tells it best: God…took one of [Adam’s] ribs and…the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to [Adam] (Gen. 2:21,22)

Obviously Adam did not witness the creation of Eve; he was snoozing at the time. After God removed the rib, He apparently set up His workbench someplace else as implied by the statement that God brought her to him. Consequently, Adam had no idea what was coming his way.

This is parts of the book I just wanted to reveal to women who we are and what our purpose REALLY is.[/size]


Twice Refined
There was every reason for Adam to be astonished, shocked and overwhelmed, since the level of creativity God employed to make Eve had not been used before. God created Adam by shaping or forming him out of dust (see Gen. 2:7). This is also true of the beasts: “And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky” (Gen. 2:19, emphasis mine).

However, in Eve’s case God employed a different technique and used more sophisticated raw material. Rather than shaping her out of dust, the Lord, “fashioned” (Gen. 2:22) her out of flesh and bone taken from Adam. This made Eve twice refined, first by the more refined raw material used, human flesh and bone, as opposed to dust, and then by the fact that rather than shaping her, as in the case of Adam and the animals, God fashioned her. The difference between fashioning and shaping is as huge as the contrast between a house built by an apprentice carpenter and one built by the best architect. Fashioning reflects a greater level of creativity and a more refined technique. We can confidently say that women are twice refined!

Perceiving Spiritual Things
Women have an extraordinary sensitivity to spiritual things. This is why Jesus was able to reveal two of the most powerful truths in the gospels to women. He told Martha that He is the resurrection and the life (see John 11:25-27), and He told the Samaritan woman that He is the living water (see John 4). These women were in a state of confusion when Jesus found them, but both were able to hear, understand and believe profound truths

Back in the Garden
Let us revisit the moment after the Fall when Eve stood next to Adam and faced God’s inquiry. The devil would like women to remember that picture in the most negative light. He wants Eve to be seen as the weak link, the one who brought so much misery to the human race. Even though she was deceived and fell into transgression, let us not miss an important point: Eve was the one who identified the enemy! In spite of the shame she felt, Eve understood and described accurately what had happened and who the instigator was, setting the stage for God to announce the rematch. Hers are the only coherent human words spoken.

Let us be strengthened by seeing this passage in Genesis 3 without the distorting lens the enemy has used for so long. Like Eve, women know who the enemy is. Furthermore, Satan knows that her seed will eventually destroy him.

It is time for a change. It is time for women not to pay attention to Satan’s demeaning remarks, so often channeled through those who look at the exterior and miss the wealth stored inside of them. Women do not need a human platform to be heard because God has given them considerable spiritual height from which to speak. They are designed to be influencers and shapers…

Ministering to Jesus’ Heart
The men watching Mary Magdalene’s sublime act of worship accused her of wasting a very valuable flask of perfume. They totally misread her actions when they looked at and judged them through a purely financial, cost effective grid. Jesus rebuked these men and declared that Mary Magdalene had exhibited great spiritual foresight because she prepared His body for the sepulcher. As He anticipated His imminent betrayal and rejection, Jesus was over whelmed by sorrow. His heart was taxed with pain; He needed someone to minister to Him. It was a woman who saw the urgency and spent everything of value she had to comfort Him.

Brokenness
Eli accused Hannah of being drunk when, in fact, she was genuinely broken before the Lord. Many times female acts of worship are dismissed as emotional and disruptive. Women are often accused of being too excitable, but this is not necessarily true.

Intrinsically women are not more godly than men are, but they are definitely more spiritual. By this I mean that they have the ability to express a greater range of emotions that enables them to experience worship in a more intense way.

If I could insert the entire book; I would because there is soooo much information in it that women need to know about themselves.

I also am in agreement with Cholette's last post. I would like to add another note...I know my husband and I are to be in ministry together. That is one of the reasons God said man should not be alone (also spoke about in the book) because he needed Eve to go to war with him against the enemy in ministry. Actually, that's why all marriages should take place because that's how God ordained it. I am still waiting for my husband and I know that he is somewhere in my ministry as it grows that we may minister together.

[Delightful soul 0]

Well, I am not sure how to take all of this............

When I first met this man he said to me _we are going to do great things for God together............................

This is what I would like, however, I would like a man who will support me in my vision that the Lord has birthed within me many years ago not the other way around..........so many women want to support a man in his ministry, but i want a man to support me in mine!

Thankyou for your words, Cholette and Virtuous......I don't know if they have sunk in, I am really tired of alot of things in my life, singleness is one of them, but also too, I feel I have finally found a lovely man and that I have ruined things by trying too hard - not that this is not the man for me, rather that I have tossed him away by being smothering. I saw him today and it was a short visit and well, I really love him and believe that God has put him in my life, but that I have allowed the devil a foot hold by trying too hard.....


I am really wanting to be wise, practical and use common sense. There are alot of men in the world and few in church.....is this why we are single still? Will men be accountable on judgement day for the wrongs they did and didn't do to women ....i wonder?

Maybe I am a tad depressed but the truth is, I want to reach out for the things I desire and yes wait on the Lord, but not shrink back and passivley wait for Him, I think waiting on God is rather faithing on Him for the answer and I am trying to have faith and step out to receive all He has for me. For too long I have been passive.....



Anyhow, I am going to go to a prayer meeting tonight where we will collectively pray and I know that God will make a way where there seems to be no way..........


Thankyou both so much,

C

[RnestseekR 0]

Hi Claire. I wanted to lift you up in prayer, as you requested:
"Father, I bring the name of Claire to you because of the wonderful privilege that Jesus extends to me becuase of His work on the cross. She is hurting and confused. She is feeling insecure. Holy Spirit, wash over right now, and redefine her. She is a most precious child of THE most High God. A good God who has good things in store for her. Thank you Jesus for coming to earth and showing us what relationships are supposed to look like. I wished we had more right relationships in our society, in our families, in our churches. Jesus, help us restore ALL the relationships in our life. THANK YOU for restoring our relationship with God.
Please give Claire wisdom as to how to handle this new relationship she is. Give her confidence and security SET IN YOU, so that she can conduct herself in a manner that would glorify you. May TRUTH reign in this relationship - with both of them. Teach them to love and support each other mutually. Bring people into their lives who can teach them about what that means.
Please grant this young man wisdom as well. Give him courage.
Thank you being such an ample provider.
In Jesus name,
Amen.

[Delightful soul 0]

thankyou so much for this prayer, it blessed me and gave me hope just reading it.............

bless you

[Virtuous 0]

I want to share something with you…help me Jesus –

Something similar to this happened to me in 2005. I want to be honest with you concerning this manner because I can tell this is causing pain in your life. I was going to post something about myself in this same situation. If you would like for me to share it, I will but right now I just want to tell you what I had to do to find peace. God didn’t allow me to continue down the path you’re on, and He’s not going to allow you to continue on it either.

I want you to get alone with God. Turn off all the lights…turn off the T.V…turn the radio off and unplug all phones (including cell phones). I learned through this situation that you’re in that GOD CARES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. Even if they seem small to others; they ARE REAL to you.

Start talking to God about this man (say his name). Tell him how you feel about him and what you think of the relationship. Tell him every detail (I don’t care how embarrassing/explicit it may be to talk about to God) about you and this man and your feelings toward him. Tell God what you expect from this man and what you’re getting. When I say tell God everything about you and this man…I mean EVERYTHING even if you think it won’t make a difference. I’m serious now. Tell Him what you want. I can’t express how important it is to tell Him EVERYTHING. Please don’t leave anything out about how you feel. Once you’ve done that, ask God to confirm to you if this is the man HE has for you. Don’t get up immediately, sit quietly and wait for Him to answer. He’ll do it. He did it for me. The only difference is I was serving plates at my church’s Sweet Heart Banquet and the speaker did an altar call. As I was waiting for him to get to me, that was my prayer to God. I needed to know if this man was really for me because I thought in my heart of hearts that he was and I was holding on to that. When the speaker got to me he began to speak in my life about other things. He began to walk away and then he immediately turned back to me and whispered in my ear, “No, he has not come yet”. God gave me confirmation within a matter of minutes.

Was I heart-broken? Of course I was. But I was at peace. I could let go. His treatment towards me was no longer an issue. My hope was no longer in a relationship with someone who God didn’t hand pick for me. I no longer chased after a dream/promise that God had given me with the wrong person.

Sweetie, I encourage you to seek confirmation from God. I will be praying with you.

[Jadams 0]

Very good word Virtuous!!! I would like to add to Claire that if the guy you are with is of God and is for you...YOU can't do anything to ruin it or to lose it. If it's for a season that he leaves, he will come back because he will be of God.

Reading your story tells me that even if he is the one, there needs to be some work done inside of you because marriage won't change your issues...sometimes they will magnify them. You want your marriage to whoever God has for you to be FOREVER...not something that will satisfy your desire to be married or to have someone to work in ministry with you. As you may know, ministry can be trying and time consuming...the two of you need to be on a solid foundation so things won't crumble.

As women we need to focus more on the longevity of the relationship instead of the "now" part of it. We want to be married NOW, but do we have inside of us what it takes to keep the relationship going forever? We are the HELP MATE...the LIFE GIVER...if we are still dealing with our own insecurities and issues, how can we HELP him and GIVE LIFE to him? Just some other things to think about. I prayed for you before typing this out. You have received some good advice here...as well as some good prayers...take heed...your prayers are being answered right here.

[Virtuous 0]

if the guy you are with is of God and is for you...YOU can't do anything to ruin it or to lose it.

This is absolutely right. No man can thrawt God's plan for your life.

[Delightful soul 0]

i can't stop crying , thankyou and I will do what virtuous said-except it is morning...the sun will shine, but I will still do it..........

thanks

[Delightful soul 0]

Hi all,

I have prayed and I did what virtuous said and turned off the lights and phones etc and sat in my bed and talked to God.......I believe He said that love was a choice...........that I could choose this man or not based on what fruit I see in his life and mine.........things must change I believe for I have not been the best GF in fact I believe God said it could go either way and if I let Him take the wheel then this man may actually come round..........I'm just prepared for things to go HIs way and am drawing nigh to Him, not my BF for I transfered all of this from GOd to the BF.

I believe GOd hs said love is a choice for a reason................when we look after animals and pot plants etc, they need care for them to grow, if they are neglected and not taken care of, or even fed or watered too much, it will hurt them......................this is what God has shown me........................love is something you take care of and you can lose it if you mistreat it and you can gain it back if you nurture it GENTLEY...............at the beginning of the relationship I distinctly heard from God and he said "be gentle with this man"............now I know and realise what he was saying............



I don't know if he is the one................all I know is, is I have not loved him with the love of God the way I should have, I have been pushy and demanding and have sinned big time with him and well, i have lead the way in all of this every step, and it is time to either allow him to break it off or to be patient waiting for his heart to heal............and I love him that much that I will wait on GOd first to do a miracle.......................


Thanks everyone................i will keep you updated as to which way things go.............

I am determined however to be free in Him and be of "good cheer".......

Thanks

[Desiree (Starpop) 1]

Claire
If you want what God wants and want to be in his will--then you have to be obedient to what you know God is telling you to do. Though it may be hard or something that you don't necessarily want to do at the time, you have to do it anyway because you know that following God is what's best. In the end he will bless you for being obediant.

The bible says that each man has to "work out there own soul salvation"--noone can live saved for me, I have to want to do it. Continue to love your boyfriend by being supportive and showing him "godly character" but don't allow him to drag you down to a place where you compromise your relationship with the father.

Trust in God to do the work. As you said, "let go and let God". I believe you know what to do--and right now may be the perfect time to do it.

Smooches and God bless
desiree

[True Flight 0]

So much wisdom on this post.
I want to throw a couple things out there for you to ponder on.
Dwight Thompson saw Paul and Jan Crouch for the first time, and commented on the way they dressed and all the make up. God said, do you not like the way I made them!
Thats what I,m hearing from you. You think you have defects.
I may not be able to work in a lot of God's gifts, But I do work strongly in decernment. I know your spirit. And it is Good.
Repeate after me, I am a Great and Mighty Child of God.
Repeate that every day untill you believe it.

Another thing, the enmy is a chatter box. I know this from personal experience. Stop listning to him. Tell him to shut up.

What attracted me to my wife, was her confidence. You could see it a mile away. She is secure in who she is.

If you smothered me, I would smother you back. If he loves you he will want to spend every moment he can with you. We dont find a mate so we can stay single.

Guys are not what you see in the movies!

Just feed the poor sap and he will be hooked for life.

Repeate after me. I am a Great and Mighty child of God.
Now ponder on that a bit.

That post about telling God exactly how you feel, That is so right on.

[Delightful soul 0]

Thanks True Flight, you always seem to make me cry.....

you do have a strong gift

I was crying the other day at how my BF hates makeup on me and I just love to wear makeup- so I have worn very little whilst I have gone out with him, I miss wearing makeup actually!

You are a man I gather and have given me a very good word of encouragement from a man's persepctive which I sooooo appreciate because, my Dad said to me the other day that if my boyfriend loved me he would want to spend heaps of time with me.


My pastor (a female ) keeps telling me that I am the one in the wrong and that I have been "high maintainence" all this has really hurt me, when all I feel I have done is try to love the man. I saw him this morning and I had to refrain from kissing him as I love him so much and he has been holding back soo much . When he kissed me good bye it was what I called a "cousin kiss" very tight and cold. I am sad you know because maybe I have been teh rebound girl for him and at one stage he was all love and hugs and kisses and now he is 'cold'... he has obviously been gossiping about me to his friends as one of them treated me coldly today and it really hurt.

You see your message made me cry cause I was once that confident girl and now I am not confident. My pastor has I feel maybe tried to help me by telling me about what I can do to fix myself and thus the enemy has used this to make me feel like I am the soul one at fault and that I am defective in this relationship.....

I spent $50 on really nice thai food last night to give him and he was too busy playing his game to eat straight away and so we ate 15 minutes after i brought it to his place and I sat on the couch waiting for him to finish his game and give me some attention as I had not seen him in over a week.

I am disapointed that I am in love and well, it seems he isn't.......

so i tried to feed the poor sap...........but i guess time will tell......

I am a great and mighty child of God -who might I add deserves to be truly loved....


God bless

[Guest Guest]

Gold and Silver I do not have Peter Said but what I have I give you.
In the name of Jesus of Nazareth..Father I open the doors of discerment on my Sister..Glorify your name in her cause and heal all the wounds in theirs hearts. we know you are the author of every good thing that come into our life. I beg You for your mercy..Let your will be known to my sister, and any area in their life that need to be mended in the name of Jesus I declared those areas healed now..Bring peace to my sister's home..and allow her to live according to your laws and purpose..Because Lord you created man and woman to display your glory..if your hand is here you will listen from heaven O Father.
I humble come into your presence obeying your command and call
Hear my prayer and your word let it be known to us..In the name of Jesus Our Lord..
I thank You Father because your will is gonna to be manifested in front of our eyes..and because I know that whatever you decided is in the best interest of our life.
We received this blessing..Be you o Lord touching and healing these hearts now..for your name's sake and to your glory My Lord.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.
Shalom my sister,

[Delightful soul 0]

Thankyou so much mbstudent..........

I went to a hens night tonight of which I am a bridesmaid, then I ran over a possum (protected species over here)..coming home .....not good.......

i could not stay to watch the love story movie they had as I would have been a mess.................

I thankyou for this as I am about to retire to bed, but truly appreciated the prayer -and a strong one at that!


Bless u heaps,



Claire

[True Flight 0]

Do you need a recipe for possum? :)

Funny thing I have a peach tree in my front yard thats high maitenance, I get a ton of fruit off of it, very tasty too.
Really I know a half dozen high maitenance people, all in prosperace relationships. Some are guys some are girls.

So why is that a bad thing?

So your crying out, begging for your needs to be met.
Cant see that as a bad thing.

My wife is high matinence, and stuborn like you wouldnt believe. She is self centered and selfish.

I meet her with love, which by the way conquers all.
Yes we have problems, when I meet stuborn with stuborn.

Every women as a child wants a Knight in Shinning Armour. Every man as a child wants to be a Knight in Shinning armour.

When I met my wife I ran away because it was instant love for me and I had had enough with relations. I was mean to her, but as the night went on, she was sitting in a lawn chair freezing. All the guys there and no one could see she was cold and get her something warm. So I did.

Moral of the story, for a moment I was her Knight.

Fairytales are not storys you put away on a shelf, but they are the events of your life.
Some times she calls me "Me Lord" and I call her "Me Lady".

I'm just trying to give you a climpse of what a relationship should be.

Now for the tough stuff.
You cry because you know this isnt the relationship for you, and your afraid. Fil in the blanks youself.
Maybe he thought he was ready for a muture relationship, but after getting his feet wet he decided it was a bad idea.

Where and Why do you think this is your fault?

Cry as long as you want, then lift yourelf up and move on.

Do this, make a list on paper of everything you want in a man.
Be selfish, very selfish, very very selfish.
I want him to do the dishes, I want hime to cook, I want a hug every night, He should be tall with brown hair.
Then go threw the list and...
Put a 1 buy the things you can live without
2 by the things you can compromise on
3 the things you really desire
4 the things, Dont even look at me if you cant provide them.

Put this list right on the table in front of God and say "This"

And while your at it, check of everything on the list that your boyfreind fullfills, and see where your at with him.

God is not a God of confusion.

I will pray for you. God will bless you.

[LovetoworshipJesus 0]

I was in the same boat as you and I realize what God has for me it is for me. No one can stop it. I was in a relationship but God removed me out only to make me that proverbs 31 women (read it) Also it says in the bible GOd holds no good thing from us. So women of God it may seem like its tuff but trust me the wait it so worth it. I am still waiting and everytime I say God where is my helpmate I realize that is more issues being worked out in me. I hear if you let it go and and if hes for you he will return. So I pray God work on your life and find your calling and minster like never before. God Bless you and remember He who finds a wife finds what is good and recieves favor from the Lord!! Proverbs 18:22

[Delightful soul 0]

Thanks so much for all your encouragement.....

It has been difficult for sure.......I am very emotionally drained but will soak up on him and see what He says.

Am going to church tonight and looking forward to hearing from him in a mighty way........

You know the whole time I have been going out with this man, I have been focused on him instead of JEsus..........I have met so many wonderful people on here who are really onfire for Jesus. WHat strikes me as even more encouraging is that half of them are men......(no offence guys)............I want to share inthe fellowship of others and am so blessed by all of this..............


I hope that GOd blesses you through my returning to the heart of the father as I have been blessed by all of you out there who have contributed to these posts..............


My heart has needed it for I have been in a bad way...............


BUt I know my redeemer lives and I know He surely wants me to too!


Bless you and will let you know how church went!

Also too 'trueflight' will do that paper thing asap and you know if I hadn't have been through this relationship, I wouldn't have realised alot of wants I have and needs that aren't being met right now..........so thankyou, will do this surely and most comprehensively! haha

[Delightful soul 0]

wow reading this now gives me such hope........

i broke up with this man not long after this post, or he broke it off with me.............

looking back I can see how it was such an emotionally abusive relationship........he was such a committment phobe poor guy......

I'm no longer friends with him even ....but I have prayed for him and released him, had lots of healing and deliverance. Last time i saw him I said i would pray for his kids and he threw his hands in the air and turned his back on me and said nastily 'you can pray, I'm done with all that"......so sad but all that was said here was true.......

i was being deceived big time........i want to say that I am sooooo happy now and love being single.......Jesus is my example and when i was with this man he did things that Jesus would never do......Jesus wants to shout me meals, open doors for me, encourage me and show His full committment to me.......things I have NEVER experienced in a relationship with another man on this earth.......

Jesus is so kind, recently I was nattering to him in my bed and he said, "when you are married, it will be like this" meaning, the intimacy and nightly chats where we share our days and thoughts about God with eachother at night.......i love my chats with the Lord, He is showing me that when I get married to the man He has for me, that it will be much like that........my previous relationship, i felt more alone in bed than i had felt when i was single!!!!!!!!!!strange but true.......God is really all I need and want.......and I seek Him rather than people to meet my needs....thankyou everyone! It was good to look back on this.