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steadygaze

God spared a life from suicide . 2-8-2010

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God spared a life from suicide . 2-8-2010

I sit and randomly write my thoughts my feelings the things I ponder so deeply in my heart I think many are afraid to speak or talk about.

I only live once and in that one shot or one chance of living the question is, “did I make a difference in the lives of others around me or did I make no difference at all?”

I found myself with tears running down my face today thinking if my tears had a voice they would have a story to tell all on their own. My words are so limited and often I think my tears tell the other side of a story that no one can hear or even understand it is a place where only you and God know and understand with out a word spoken.

I met a lady Sheri at the Red Cross who is apart of their disaster team. This lady the Lord had spoken to me about and had even revealed her past to me through a word of knowledge and I had even had a dream about her. I have ended up coming along side her as a friend in Christ, this lady is very broken the Lord loves her dearly and has a plan and a purpose for her life. Not sure where I fit into all of this but have just fallowed the Holy Spirits leading.

Yesterday I was prompted to call Sheri so I picked up the phone and gave her a ring. She did not pick up the phone and I had a sense in the spirit something was wrong. A few minutes latter she called me back and was in tears telling me she was really struggling. I knew that day the Healing room ministry was open and I convinced her to go and allow them to pray with her and minister to her. She agreed to go.

Well this morning Sheri called me on the phone and I said can I take you out to coffee and then you can let me know how your meeting went. So Sheri arrives and we get our coffee we sit down and Sheri looks at me with a very serious look on her face and tears start to well up in her eyes and she turns to look at me and she says,” You do not know this Jeanie but when you called yesterday I had a gun in my hand and I was loading it and I was about to head off to the mountains to blow my head off when you called me on the phone, because I no longer wanted to live. She began to weep and I could feel the pain she was feeling and I knew as I watched those tears pour down her face was yet another story that could have been told, if only her tears could speak. I sat and listened as she opened up her heart to me. I knew the Lord kept her from taking her life out of my obedience to call her on the telephone and was blessed to hear she was totally ministered to by the healing room team.

As our conversation went on I bent over the table with tears that I could not stop from falling and I looked her in the eye and I told her, When I was 25 years old I had a friend who had two sons, My friend Kathy called me one night telling me her husband and her were getting a divorce, I asked her if she was okay and she acted as if everything was fine. The next morning I went to go see her, her kids were in bed and so was her husband, I went into the bathroom and my best friend was hanging from the ceiling dead, I flipped and freaked out. My best friend killed herself. I told Sheri it changed my life forever, and it will be something I will carry for the rest of my life. I told Sheri how it affected her children's lives for the rest of their lives and it will be something they will always carry the rest of their lives. Because of Kathy’s selfishness her children will pay for it everyday. I told Sheri for years I had nightmares about my friend’s death until the Lord brought healing into my life and freed me of the guilt I carried. I told Sherri it is selfish to take your life and it will leave a mark on your children for life even your friends will be scared from it. Sheri broke down in tears and said I never realized the effects it would have on them. Sheri thanked me for sharing my story with her.

I felt in my heart the Lord opened Sheri’s eyes today and really moved on her life to be able to see the other side if she did take her life. So we will see how things continue to move and go in and through Sheri’s life because God has a plan. I know I am sure glad Sheri did
not leave to the mountains that day and that I took heed to a prompting of the Holy Spirits voice.

It is true the scare that was left on my life from Kathy’s suicide has always stayed with me. The Lord brought me through that tragic event and I never want to see others go through it like Kathy's children did, and all her friends who loved her. So if I can prevent someone from taking their life and if I can open their eyes to the effects it has on others who are left behind for the rest of their lives then I will be glad to do it.

God spared a life today and I am eternally grateful..

Blessings

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.. Thank you Steady for listening to the Holy Spirit's prompting and being there for that lady. Wow. How amazing is our God! Thanks for sharing!
God BLESS you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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praiseGod , God is sooooo awesome!

Do know that you will be rewarded for your obedience!

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Amen-steadygaze u have no idea the lack of compassion amongst many in this day and age. we thank God 4 giving u a sensitive spirit to Him

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~Steady,

It encourages me that you are obedient to Him and follow His prompting. The Lord will take what was meant for evil and turn it to something good and He has shown you how here. Continue to work with her but God may continue to use your circumstance to witness to others who are struggling for their lives. They will need a Holy Spirit filled woman of God to tell them the same story as you told her. Praise be to God. God bless.

Love in Jesus,

Conn
ie~

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Almost a decade ago, I was Sheri, and 5 minutes before I did the deed (I set my watch), my best friend Joel called me....forcing me to go to coffee with him (it was 11pm on a work night). If it weren't for him being sensitive to Holy Spirit........I would've been spending eternity in hell, because I had completely swore off God at that point.

So, when Holy Spirit nudges us.....it's so important to listen and obey. It could mean somebody else's life is at stake...awaiting your obedience.

Thank you Steadygaze for this beautiful testimony.

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man I am depressed lately and forced myself to read this as I have struggled for YEARS with suicidal thoughts, I have had alot of victory in the past 5 or so years now and have not struggled so badly.

In 1994 I was in a bind and in my room one night rocking and in some kind of trance thinking about taking my mums pills to end it all....the phone rang that night and it was my pastor asking me what was wrong as God had told her to ring me???

If it had not been for her obedience to ring me then I guess i would have swallowed those pills and most likely would have been a vegetable or something worse.

Recently I have made friends online with a man who's ex killed herself and we are really good mates and talk everyday practically, have done for one and a half years now. We talk lots and alot about his ex, he misses her so much and remembers all the good times and some bad too.He was totally in love with her-still is and it is like the Lord has shown me how selfish suicide is.......that sounds tough to say but this an spends everyday missing her - he does not know the Lord and she did not either, I sometimes wonder if she asked God to send someone his way to tell him about the truth, cause I am hoping she is with God now, if not she still wishes that her man would know the truth about life.Anyway, the point I am trying to make is, I have been shown the side of suicide that really stings, the other people who are left to pick up the mess and then spend every day wondering how they could have helped them deal with their problem more positively.

I have left a post on the counselling forum as I am going through a hard time of late....but I pray it never gets that dark again for me that I feel totally helpless but for to escape by giving up my life.

What upsets me sometimes is that I have been a christian since 1990 and have struggled with depression so bad that I have trouble functioning in everday life..........I have been gifted (not bragging ok) with so many talents and some days my head hurts so bad that I cannot do a single thing, it is like I am frozen with saddness. I know I have the joy of the Lord....and yet I fight (always have) the battle to not allow satan to beat my heart all the time.


Praise God that you were obedient cause we really need to listen to that still small voice and pick up the phone when we should or email that person or go have coffee with our mates. Who knows how a person is feeling.....and in todays world we are either busy or good or not bad..........we cover up so much and so cleverly that we are in fact liars.


Sometimes the best thing we can do is to cry with those who cry and laugh with those who laugh and not get that mxed up at all.

Amazing story ...it has given me hope to carry on.

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Claire,

In the Bible it says, "resist the devil, and he MUST flee." Any time you feel depressed dear say, "Get thee behind me satan!" Yell it (at the top of your lungs), break the solemness sound barrier with your voice. Then start singing your favorite worship songs until you push the devil out ["put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (depression)]. This is how the devil gets you. He got me that way for a long time, still tries from time to time, but I overcome it as quickly as it starts now (and us people who get depressed literally do FEEL it start to come on, before it's full blown). When I feel it coming on, I start war on the devil, and I am loud and aggressive about it. I've become pretty sensitive to knowing when the spirit of heaviness (depression) is around. It tries to put pressure on my chest and keep me in bed all day.

Dear, do things that scare the devil. Saying the name, "Jesus," makes the devil cringe because there is power in His name; singing praises to God pushes the devil out of your sphere, he hates it because HE wants to be glorified; asking God to send His angels to sing songs and speak words of good news into your ears (blocks the enemies lies and tauntings); and pleading the blood of Jesus over yourself [keeps you safe from harm (even harm from your own hands sweetie, your life belongs to Jesus now since 1990)].

It's important that you overcome this. Developing some godly tools/weapons to counteract the devil's attacks will pound his depressing face into the dust where he belongs. Depression isn't of God. We, as Christians, can have joy in the most horrid conditions because of Who died for us. Jesus didn't die for us to be depressed, hun. No way. He died to give us life...abundant life.

God bless you, hope that helped you some.

Love,

Christa

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thanks, I do not seem to get email notifications of replies to posts so i only got this now after having checked on here.

You are right, I am getting into praise more and beginning to connect with God more....last year I totally let go of habits that were keeping me in good health, prayer, devotions, praise....

I lost my flat and came to live with my folks, they hate it when i sing and will bang on the doors to tell me to stop even if it is anytime of day.

But I can do all things through Christ and I am confessing that His joy is my strength and I will be blessed in every direction. I am starting to confess more often positive things for my life as I have seen the effects of doing that 5 years ago when I prophesied over my life that i would be well, and healed, and the doctor gave me the all clear this year!!! Praise Him.......the enemy is defeated and the battle is the Lord's.

Amen xo

Thanks Guys

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