Have ants in my pants and I want to leave this church

[Christa 0]

Does God want us to stay in places that are just torture? I don't want to be seduced by the weird spirit that's in this church. I went to this church growing up as a teen and although I got a good foundation, I had no clue what the Holy Spirit did until about 3 years ago. They're Assemblies of God, but they follow the beat of their own drum per se. The pastor has to control everything that goes on (he's the only one that prays for people, everybody else has to lay hands on people and just agree). The pastor's wife controls all of the music that goes on too. I almost died of boredom today. I feel like the pastor and his wife try to fit Holy Spirit into a ritual box....like if Holy Spirit doesn't like the schedule WE have, then He can go elsewhere. Never have they ever said that, but it seems that when Holy Spirit starts to move...at mid-movement, the pastor is cutting into the atmosphere with some ritual that he does every week. I could quote him word for word when he switches from one activity to another. This is how our church goes:

1- Starts off with singing, my mom's the worship leader (she sings opera-like, not contemporary, and instead of leading everybody, the pastor's wife leads the songs with the piano -the music sounds like it's out of the 40's by the way- and everybody else has to keep up with her beat. I think we need a worship team and that my mom and the pastor's wife should back down. I don't think I could ever say anything to either of them about change at all in any capacity).

2- After the third song (sometimes there's a fourth song), the pastor gets up and helps to sing it. My mom steps to the side. Then he says a very familiar prayer and asks the body if we have "any needs" and he prays for our needs. After he prays for our needs, once a month he lets us know that they don't have enough money to cover the rent of the building.....THEN he hands out the offering plates (and his eyes follow the plates).

3- After that, he says, "We're going to sing________, and as we do, will the children please go quietly back to children's church."

4- Sermon (not fresh...something recycled/repeated from years and years of sermons -he's in his late 70's I think- little if any preparation).

5- Ending prayer (sounds the same every week).

6- Asks the body if they need prayer to come up so "we" can pray for them. Then asks the brothers and sisters to come up to help pray. He ALWAYS leads the prayer..."we" don't pray, "we" just agree.

Many times I've had urgings to pray for certain people, go kneel at the alter, and such. I feel that there's such a stronghold of control there. I don't feel free to do many things. I feel like all eyes are on me when I raise my hands or cry when I am moved by Holy Spirit there. The lights are so bright and there are so few people there....honestly, I don't blame anybody for staring at me, because it would be absolutely boring there without watching people getting moved by Holy Spirit. I'm not the only person who has observed this, "something is wrong with this church" has been the talk for at the very least 20 years. I don't think I can take another Sunday there.

Here's the weird thing....during the week, they have a food bank. The place comes alive then. The atmosphere is so very different, and desireable. Helping others is such a blessing. I don't know if it's wrong to go to two different churches, but I don't want to be involved in the regular services there anymore (but I'm locked into teaching one young girl at 10am every Sunday morning there). I don't want to move until I'm absolutely sure that that's what God wants me to do. God puts me where things are changing ...because I handle change very well (upbringing) when most people don't. I don't feel that they are shut off to hearing God's voice, I just think that they don't do it if it involves a difficult change that they may have to submit to.

I starve for Holy Spirit's presence on a daily basis-I can't get enough of Him, but I feel that this church starves us of His presence. I can't stand it and I need serious prayer for direction, please help, I'm about ready to bolt. This church needs to shut down or it needs a 99% overhaul. My mood is getting really bad there, and I don't want to discourage anybody else's good time(the 100+ year olds' I guess) in the Lord. Uuuuggh...I hate the familiar spirit.

[princessdelia 0]

Find another church Christa. You are hurting ur spiritual walk by staying there. Its pretty evident that your goal isn't ur feeling but to do God's bidding and to grow spiritually. Ask God to lead you to another place.
Love u sis.

[Christa 0]

Thanks Delia.....I feel very torn about it right now. Usually when God tells me, "You're done...go," it's pretty matter of fact and I feel little or no hesitation (although I might be sad). I don't feel like I've gotten the green light on this yet, but I will certainly pray for God to move me on pretty quickly. Thanks girl for your support.

[Cholette 0]

Christa...well girl, 80% of what you described is just like the church I just left last month. If you are waiting for God to give you specific instructions, you may be missing his promptings. This is what I was doing. I wanted God to tell me that it was time to leave because I was afraid to "miss Him" and I thought I would "abort my purpose" if I didn't stay. I was a part of that building since my son was 8 months old and he will be 20 years old this year.

Anyway, God used the uneasiness that I felt in my heart about this church to get me to go. I had people tell me NOT to go...they told me that my purpose was there and I will abort it if I leave...they told me that I won't be blessed...etc, etc, etc. Girl, I woke up one Sunday morning and made a decision that it was going to be the last Sunday I was going to be unhappy. I KNOW what my purpose is and the climate of this church was not condusive for the growth of it.

If you are not happy, it's time to go Christa. Remember, there is ONE GOD, but there are MANY church's. God is so loving and simple. He's not this mean God that says "Stay or else..." You should visit some church's and get a feel for what's out there and go from there. I just found an awesome church. It's a little further than I wanted to drive and the church is a little larger than I wanted, but I AM HAPPY and God is in this place. His presence is undeniable and once again...I AM HAPPY!!!!!

I hope this helps you...

[Christa 0]

Oh girl.....I remember your battle at that other church. Thank you for telling me this. I really needed to hear what you said.

[Angelwings 1]

Same here Christa! I just left my church recently.

This is what God gave me in a nutshell.....just like a plant needs nutrional soil to grow and flourish...the same goes for the children of God, we need to be grounded in a place that will be nurtured. Of course He gave that to me in a more poetic way I wasn't sure what He meant by that at the time I received it, so I prayed for months for confirmation and I finally heard a message that set off a light bulb.
Pain is a warning/signal that something is out of order....something is out of line.
Sometimes we think that if we just put a smile on and brush it off as something that we just need to get over, what we are doing is protecting the pain. It will eventually grow and possibly expose us.
Those feelings your having could be your signal that its time to cut your ties. Your ready...you just have to take that step of faith and let God lead you.
Thats where I'm at.

So funny how this topic keeps coming up!
I am so grateful for this website...I really am!

[Cholette 0]

Very well said Angelwingz!!! I like the analogy that God gave you about the soil. I was hearing something similar a while ago, but didn't use it to step out in faith because I had so many people in my ear.

Doesn't it feel good to be free??? I'm just sayin!!

[Angelwings 1]

YES IT DOES!!!

[Virtuous 0]

Shortly after I joined the church I presently attend, some things were going on that I absolutely didn't like and I wanted to leave. I even told God I was going to leave and He needed to lead me to another church. He immediately gave me specific instructions NOT to leave; therefore, I didn't have to battle with the decision of leaving or staying.

I still wanted to leave but I was too afraid to leave because I didn't want to get out of His will. We feel releases from God in different ways. You have to know how God speaks and answers you.

I'll be praying that God confirms or corrects your desire to leave. If your assignment is complete, I pray that He will lead and guide you to the place you should be.

[lola21st 2]

I agree with all points made...same thing happened to me about 5 years ago..the church I was attending was dead and I wasn't being spiritually fed. I didn't want to get ahead of the Lord if there was a role He had for me in that church and I didn't want to start church hopping. So I asked him for signs and he provided them over the next few months. Changing churches was the best thing that could've happened to me...in just one year I learned more about the Lord than I had the previous 5 years (no joke)...

The challenge is making sure it's a God move while not overanalyzing whether or not you're hearing from God...it's not easy!

Virtuous - Glad to see you, it's been a while!

[Christa 0]

Oh man....I need to get my face on the floor about this, because I've got to walk forward either way. Being at a stand-still isn't a good place for me....I start to create drama at that point (truth be told ).

Thank you all for telling me your experiences. I feel very supported. Thanks for your prayers as well. God bless ya'll.

[dreamster 0]

,,control is rooted in witchcraft,,why wood u wanna stay ther,, its quite simple;''wher the spirit of the lord is,,ther is liberty,,'', and joy,, ,,pak ur bags an go,,here endeth the lesson,,bishopD,, ,,,self appointed of course,,

[Christa 0]

Hi D.... I'm on emoticon overload right now....haven't had that for a while


I know I showed up at this church to help the pastor's wife. Shortly after I started going there again, her mother died. My mom is her best friend, but my mom couldn't be there for her because she works really long days. God sent me there because he loves the pastor's wife (and she was a complete wreck..I'm not used to seeing her that way). Why I'm still there???.....I'm still praying on it (God has me where change is...then I'm off again once the change has taken place...I often don't see outcomes of the change).

Personally, I think God may be closing down the church. Drugs bring in the spirit of control too...and there are a lot of undelivered people there. However, I have no doubt that witchcraft is a big part of that too.

Honestly, I'm so sick of going to churches. I would rather walk the streets with other believers healing the sick and raising the dead. I just might find a group like that. So many churches these days have little to no outreach programs that actually go OUTreach (it's all about the people going TO the church, not the church coming to them).

I'm so used to getting high on Jesus all on my own (or finding conferences to go to to be with other believers), I almost feel like I don't need pews, a pianist, a bulletin, and a tithing envelope anymore. When I tithe, I always do cash straight in the offering plate anyway (with no info filled out on the envelope if I use one...because I don't want to take any credit for God's money). IDK. I'm so sick of the legalism...I have a bad taste in my mouth about churches in general right now.

Thanks for all of your prayers. God has given me peace the past couple of days. I'm a really uptight person about everything really, but God has given me such mercy and grace recently. God bless you guys.

[Cholette 0]

I can relate to how you feel because I was right where you were about the church building. No one was being saved...no one was coming into the church...no one was being delivered...just a bunch of people meeting together and stirring up drama BUT not all churches are like that, even though we know there is no perfect church.

We need the house of God and we need a pastor so we can be taught and fed. Yes, we do that by daily reading the Word of God however, the Bible says how can we hear unless we have a preacher?

I think it's awesome to have the desire for OUTreach and you can do that, but make sure you remain hooked up to a ministry so that you can have a pastor to "cover" you. Trust me...there are churches out there. I found a fantastic one HOWEVER, I know it's not perfect. My thing is that I wasn't being fed at my other church. I could have stayed there and put up with the drama as long as I was being fed, but I wasn't. That's the MOST important thing for me.

[Christa 0]

Do evangelists/missionaries have a church home? I don't know if that's a stupid question or not. I feel like I'm a missionary. Even when I've had church homes, God has moved me out pretty quickly. Every time I decide on a church home... is when God decides to move me. If pastors cover the body, who covers the pastors?

I watch TV preachers for hours a day sometimes, so I know I get taught (maybe even overtaught sometimes). I go to conferences and volunteer in order to mix with believers. I've been cutting off ungodly soul ties recently, and my good friends are believers.

I'm tired of searching for "a church," or even "the right church for me." I want a church to search for me for once.

Uuugghhh.

[Cholette 0]

Okay...well you are in an interesting place and I say, remain in prayer.

As far as missionaries...the ones I know of, ARE a part of a church because its the church that funds and supports their mission. My former Pastor had another Pastor who was his spiritual mentor. I'm not sure how the other pastors do it.

The scripture I hear for you is..."And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (Galatians 6:9)

[dreamster 0]

i knowa ch that moves in signs an wondas,,in CA,,but i dont think i can print the name on the site,, do u want it??,,,hellloooo cholette,,

[princessdelia 0]

Christa u will find a great church soon. I know it!

[dreamster 0]

um C,,econ ovaload is good fer tha soul,, surrenda ,,2 the process, resistance is futile as they say,, ,,,D